THE STRANGER

By A. Nonymous, A Manhattan Lawyer.

A divorce, I'm afraid, is unavoidable. My wife is urging --insisting, in fact-- that we bring an absolute stranger in to live with us. And not just for a weekend or even a week, but for a term of many years!

Absurd? Yes, but there's much more to her proposal.

The stranger will require extensive care and almost constant attention. Attention that cannot be casually given, but is expected to be diligent, even... devoted.

Under the arrangement, we would be required to furnish him with food, shelter, care, and clothing --in fact, the full range of comforts and necessities of contemporary life, and to do it all at our sole expense, with almost no hope of reimbursement. And add a few luxuries and much entertainment. He's likely to be very messy, and we'll be obliged to clean up after him.

All of this is regardless of whether or not we like or can even tolerate the stranger. And get this: no one can even describe the person at this time, not even as to gender!

This intrusive presence can be confidently expected to drastically alter our lifestyles, which are pretty quiet in our hours at home and spontaneous in our comings and goings.

Moreover, once begun, the arrangement will be all but impossible to get out of. It's nearly irrevocable.

There is more to her proposal, but it is just too heavy to think of or tell. I know; it sounds crazy.

The benefits, if any --not excluding simple gratitude-- are pure speculation and may be entirely an illusion. The people we know who push the arrangement, invariably describe the benefits in vague subjective terms. But it sounds to me like they speak without any real conviction --particularly those people in a position to know. It's suspicious.

These are people who will make no contribution to the hardships I foresee, but they don't hesitate to volunteer their approval of this crazy idea, and some of them contrive occasions to argue their view.

Of course, I have consistently refused to open my home to this person. I would have thought that my position would be seen as entirely responsible--indeed, the only sane response. Yet, as I have said, my wife has unswervingly urged that we not only commit ourselves to this extraordinary obligation, but pursue it with enthusiasm!

How did all this come about? No one can explain, including the other people who push the idea, except that it is part of a long-standing tradition that was unquestioningly accepted by many generations. I can't understand it.

No! I'm not having any of it. No child. But there'll probably be a divorce.