"You Called Yourself an Old Man!"

By: Obi-Juanita and Qui-Gon Jinnette

3. duma_@hotmail.com

4. Qui-Gon and 12 year old Obi-Wan find out that they don't have to travel far to have adventures!

5. To Jedi Apprentice # 1 and 2

6. I don't own any of these characters except for Mr. Wookums. They belong ( along with their universe) to Mr. George Lucas and Lucasfilms. I am making no profit off of this story.

7. I'd like to thank my little sister for coming up with some of the funny lines, and Disney's Tarzan, because I was listening to "Trashin' the Camp" while writing the first half. ^_^

"You Called Yourelf an Old Man!"

Part One:

*****Author's Note*****

This is just a wacky story that my best friend and I wrote one day. We have a wacky sense of humor and find this hilarious. We hope you do, too. There'll be more coming!

Bant's eyes shone and her smile began to widen even more as she lived Obi-Wans's heroic acts through his vivid storytelling. Reeft's face shone with laughter as Garen Mulun struggled to keep himself from jumping up and joining Obi-Wan in his mock lightsaber battle.

"I picked up the rocks of Ionite," Obi-Wan concluded, "and put them around the bomb. They neutralized it and the timer stopped. We defeated Xanatos," his pride more than showing. Garen Mulun leapt up, "Wow!" he exclaimed, patting Obi-Wan on the back. Reeft got up, followed by Bant as they danced side-stepping around their friend, clearly in awe of his accomplishments.

"You're a hero!" Reeft said.

"You're so smart!" Bant exclaimed.

Obi-Wan could only smile. It felt so good to be home. But he wasn't home, he kept reminding himself. When he was with his friends, wherever that may be, felt like home, though. They continued in their dance, laughing the whole time. Obi-Wan was about to fall over with laughter.

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Qui-Gon walked down the hallway. Suddenly, a strange, chanting laughter became audible. It was coming from he and Obi-Wan's chambers. He quietly opened the door a crack to see what was going on. He was tickled inside by the sight he saw. He pulled back quickly, fighting laughing out loud.

He took a deep breath and tried to look serious. He was a Jedi Master, he could not look passive and amused by child's play. He shoved open the door and strongly strode into the room. "Hope I'm not interrupting anything," he said blankly. The laughter ceased and the children looked up at him both embarrassed and in awe. It was Qui-Gon Jinn, up close! After an awkward silence in which all eight eyes in the room were fixed on him, Qui-Gon asked, "What?" He quickly turned his attention to his Padawan. "Aren't you going to introduce me?"

"Oh!" Obi-Wan said as if breaking out of a daydream. "This is Reeft."

"Hello Reeft."

"And Garen Mulun," the boy bowed.

"Hello."

"And this is Bant, she's my best friend." Bant curtsied and smiled.

"Pleased to meet you, Sir," she said in a sweet voice.

"It's a pleasure," Qui-Gon replied. 'Sir,' he liked that, and he liked this Calamarian girl. He got good vibes off of her. Obi-Wan could sense what Qui-Gon was thinking.

"It's getting late," he forced out, "you guys should be going."

They all nodded their heads silently in agreement. One by one they walked out the door. As Bant crossed the thresh-hold she turned around and hugged Obi-Wan.

"I'm glad you're back," she said, then looked at Qui-Gon, smiled and hurried out. Obi-Wan turned to Qui-Gon; he was smiling.

"Very nice children," he said. He didn't quite know why he couldn't get Bant's twinkling eyes out of his head. She had such a strong presence.

'Hump.' He shook his head.

"Bed time, young Padawan." "Awwwww," was all the remonstrance that Obi-Wan could manage, he was very tired.

"Now," Qui-Gon said firmly. Obi-Wan crawled under the covers of his sleep-couch as Qui-Gon turned off the light. He sat down on his sleep-couch. He was exhausted, the events of the past days had finally taken their toll, but Obi-Wan seemed ever resilient, always energetic. But he was a child, they're always like that. He sighed as he lay down, his back ached, his body thanked him for the rest.

He heard an odd sound coming from Obi-Wan's sleep-couch. The boy was laughing! It started off as a giggle, but grew into a, well, the little guy was cracking up for some bizarre reason. Qui-Gon sighed again.

"What could possibly be so funny that you'll wake an old man up in the night on its behalf?" Qui-Gon said. Although he didn't show it, he was more curious as to why the boy was cracking up and how he was going to respond to him calling himself an old man, than annoyed.

"I saw you!" Obi-Wan managed to spit out through his laughter.

"What in the world are you talking about?" Qui-Gon was confused.

Maybe it was post traumatic stress disorder. Perhaps the last few weeks were finally taking their toll on the child. After all, he had no idea what had happened to him or what abuse he had taken in that awful mine. Perhaps now the kid had finally snapped, gone crazy. Obi-Wan's voice interrupted this last thought.

"At the door!" he said laughing even harder.

It struck him. So that was it. Qui-Gon suddenly felt embarrassed and he couldn't stop himself from laughing. He turned his head and saw Obi-Wan laying down facing him giggling, his eyes twinkling. Qui-Gon grabbed one of his pillows, hit him on the head and left it there. He turned his head away, trying to relax himself. But the giggling continued, muffled through the pillow. He turned to face Obi-Wan. He watched as the boy slowly pulled the pillow off of his head, still laughing. Qui-Gon smiled.

"It isn't even that funny," he said, hoping to calm the boy. Obi-Wan's eyes shone even more brightly.

"You called yourself an old man!" He shook with the laughter brought up by the memory.

"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said firmly. "You will calm yourself."

"Yes..." Obi-Wan replied with sudden control. "Old Man!"

He was still giggling as Qui-Gon rolled over and moaned.

Obi-Wan watched and grew quiet.

"Sorry Master."

Qui-Gon moaned in response. A few minutes passed, and just as he was falling asleep, the laughter started again. This time in spurts. Qui-Gon rolled over to face his Padawan. His back was turned to him and he would inconsistently shake with laughter.

"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon moaned, clearly annoyed. The giggles continued.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi, if you do not stop that laughter right now I'm going to punish you by making you meditate for 2 weeks." The laughter immediately ceased.

'Finally,' Qui-Gon thought. He began to feel detached as sleep began to call to him once more, when Obi-Wan's whisper aroused him.

"Master Qui-Gon," it was saying. "You wouldn't really do that, would you?"

Qui-Gon smiled. The voice sounded so sweet and innocent, not like it was coming from the little brat next to him. Great. Now he was going to be the one who couldn't stop laughing. Qui-Gon's laughter was all the confirmation that Obi-Wan needed, and served as encouragement.

Best case, Obi-Wan thought, Qui-Gon thought that his question was funny for some reason. Worst case: he had gone psychotic from exhaustion and was on the verge of killing him. Either one made Obi-Wan crack up all over again. Their room echoed with laughter. They weren't going to get much sleep that night.

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Believe it or not, they actually succeeded in getting a full night's rest. Qui-Gon awoke, but did not stir. He pretended to be asleep so he could observe his Padawan's activities. The lad was jumping on his sleep-couch doing flips in the air. He was shocked at the height the little guy achieved.

Through the jumps, Obi-Wan said in a sarcastic voice with a serious face, "Hmmmmm. I wonder when Qui-Gon's going to wake up!"

Qui-Gon opened one eye and watched as the child continued to jump. He smiled and sat up.

"You know, those sleep-couches can be very dangerous."

"You're mean, you know that?"

"Yes, but what does that have to do with jumping on a sleep-couch?"

"You're just a mean old man!"

"Only when compared to some. Now you better listen to this 'mean old man' or you'll have to face the consequences."

"You ruin everything!" Obi-Wan complained as he got off of the sleep-couch.

"Stop your whining, a Jedi must be flexible."

"Tell yourself that!" Obi-Wan said as he chucked Qui-Gon's pillow back at him. It struck him in the face. He was really getting annoyed. Now that the boy was his Padawan, the fear of not becoming one had left him. He was testing Qui-Gon, seeing how far he could go without getting in trouble.

'Two can play this game. I'll see how far I can go without scaring him,' Qui-Gon thought.

He slowly pulled the pillow off his head and let it fall to the floor. He slowly turned his head, face dead serious, to meet Obi-Wan's eyes. The smile was quick to disappear at the threat of anger. He quickly began making his sleep-couch, pretending to be busy. He'd risk a quick glance over his shoulder every once in a while only to see Qui-Gon Jinn standing solemnly with his arms folded. He was clearly unamused. When Obi-Wan was finished he sat down on his sleep-couch and looked up at him. Qui-Gon took two slow steps toward him. He opened his mouth as if to start a lecture, but closed it on second thought. Obi-Wan couldn't match his master's gaze. He suddenly found the floor and his feet very interesting. Qui-Gon sat down beside him. Obi-Wan gave him a quick sideways glance, but Qui-Gon was still impassive.

"You know..." he began. Obi-Wan suddenly noticed a red blinking light at the head of the sleep-couch. Of course! He had forgotten that at 10:00 all of the sleep-couches would automatically fold into the wall. And they were sitting on theirs!

"A Jedi must respect their elders..." Qui-Gon was still rambling on. He'd never get a chance to tell him!

"Master Qui-Gon," he meekly interrupted.

"Don't interrupt me!" Qui-Gon hissed.

"But, " Obi-Wan tried .

"Have you heard a word that I was say-" Qui-Gon was cut off. In one swift motion, the sleep-couch folded into the wall, pinning both Jedi upside down by their legs. All was dark. They hung there for a moment, wedged between the wall and the sleep-couch. Then, finally Obi-Wan broke the silence.

"With all do respect, Sir, I tried to warn you." Qui-Gon turned his head to where his Padawan hung but all he saw was darkness. He grunted in response. About five minutes passed in silence. Then Qui-Gon heard a loud thump.

"Obi-Wan," he called, " are you allright?"

"Yeah, I got my legs free, I didn't know that it would be such a long drop." In the darkness Obi-Wan rubbed his back. It was warm and very stuffy down there, but the floor and walls were cool. There was a shaft of light and he could see Qui-Gon's legs holding the sleep-couch open.

"Can you get us out?" Qui-Gon asked.

"I'll try," Obi-Wan replied. "Hey, I can see into another room."

"Well, call for help."

"I don't think that we'll get much, Master, that's Bruck's room!"

"Well," Qui-Gon began, "Bruck is a decent lad, I'm sure he'll-" he gave up to Obi-Wan's laughter.

"Hey, speaking of the 'decent lad,' I can see 'em!"

"Now, Obi-Wan, it's not polite to, to, whatever it is you're doing!"

"He's dancing! With a Wookie! Look at him! He's so funny-lookin'! He's so clumsy! He's so, so, so dancing with my Wookie!"

"Padawan," Qui-Gon said, irritated. But once he realized that he was hearing concern and not accusation in his Padawan's voice, he softened his own.

"We'll deal with your Wookie later. For right now there is a more pressing matter. Get me down!"

In the other room Bruck had just set the Wookie on a top shelf, but when he heard this request, he quickly scrambled up the dresser to answer it. As soon as he could reach, he smacked the Wookie onto the floor.

Obi-Wan watched in amusement, although it did bother him slightly to see his stuffed Wookie smacked around.

"Obi-Wan, please, I'm getting a headache," Qui-Gon said in a tired voice, realizing that he was completely at Obi-Wan's mercy.

Meanwhile, Bruck was examining the Wookie, trying to discover the source of the sound he had just heard.

Obi-Wan suddenly got a mischievous glint in his eye. Through their bond, Qui-Gon was monitoring the change in Obi-Wan's perspective on the situation. However, he was still an innocent as to what was to come next.

Smiling, Obi-Wan said "Master, what did you say you wanted Bruck to do?"

Qui-Gon sighed. "I wanted Bruck to stop being mean to Obi-Wan."

"What? I can't really hear you from down here." Picking up on his motive, Qui-Gon yelled "I said, stop being mean to Obi-Wan Kenobi!"

In the other room Bruck jumped as he dropped the Wookie on the ground. He looked down at the two button eyes and toothy grin, rapidly nodding.

Obi-Wan looked to Qui-Gon, "Tell him to give back my Wookie."

"Give me back to Obi-Wan!" Qui-Gon bellowed.

Bruck was awe struck, staring wide eyed at the Wookie.

"And bring a maintenance crew!" Bruck jumped.

"Yes, Sir, Mr. Wookums, Sir! " With that he grabbed the stuffed Wookie and raced down the hallway to find a maintenance crew.

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TBC