DAVE'S (Co-MC) SPIEL ON CLAY AND GAIL

When I think of Gail… and don't worry, Clay, it's not that often… I think of a kind, caring, loving, beautiful young woman. When I think of Clay, I think… hey, this guy's going out with a kind, caring, loving, beautiful young woman. Clay and Gail are very good friends of mine; I met them when I first joined LIFE TEEN in December of '96. Since I've gotten to know them, I can honestly say that Clay and Gail are two of my favourite people to hang out with; they're really fun people and they have really cool board games. Thank you, Clay, for always being there to talk wrestling with me. And thanks, Gail, for all those lunches up at UBC; those were so cool. And now that you're a teacher - a teacher at St. Paul's - that's even cooler. Clay and Gail, I admire you both - your love for and dedication to each other are an example to us all. It's hard to believe that you two dated for more than 10 years… yet I find it even more difficult to believe that over that same time span, Clay has gone through only 3 major hairstyles AND has had his current hairstyle for 7 years. But regardless of what Clay's hair looks like, I know you guys are going to have a strong relationship and a happy life together. I love you guys and wish only the best for you.

FORTUNE COOKIES

Dave: For Clay and Gail, Gary and I would like to offer a special dessert treat… and that would be… fortune cookies! The first one that I read out will be for the both of you as a couple… and this will be followed by an individual fortune for each of you.

Dave: So, for Clay and Gail as a couple: "Stop searching forever, happiness is just next to you." Aww!

Dave: And now I'm going to pick an individual fortune for Clay. Clay, your fortune reads: "Difficult decisions lie ahead of you." Hmm… you know, I'm not so sure about this. I mean, think about it. You've just made the biggest decision of your life. In choosing… Gary and me as co-emcees for your reception, we really hope that you're happy with the job we've done so far.

Gary: And Gail's fortune reads, "Great rewards will be awaiting you by a loved one."
(Gary then explains how he likes to add "in bed" at the end of his fortunes.)

Dave: The revised couple fortune will now read, "Stop searching forever, happiness is just next to you in bed."

Gary: Gail's fortune now reads, "Great rewards will be awaiting you by a loved one in bed." Dave: And by adding "in bed" to your fortune Clay, it now reads: "Difficult decisions lie ahead of you in bed." Now that my friends, is true. As a married man, when you're in bed with your WIFE, you're going to have to choose between watching TV - whether it be hockey, basketball, wrestling, or Sportspage - and seeing to Gail's needs. Yikes. Now there's a TOUGH decision for us men. Good luck, buddy.