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"But What About SOCIALIZATION?"

by Rev. R. Scott Davenport, MA., L.L.P., a CHEM board members and Home Education Leader

As a Christian Home Educators of Michigan [C.H.E.M.] Board Member and as a psychologist, I am often asked, "But what about SOCIALIZATION?"

This question has plagued the home education movement since its inception, and is based on the commonly held belief that in order to be appropriately "socialized," all children upon reaching the age of five must be boxed in a' room with 30 to 45 other children of the same age in order to learn how they should think and act "appropriately."

In a University of Michigan Study released March 5th, 1993, J. Gary Knowles, University of Michigan assistant professor of education, said "the results [of the study] refute claims that home schooling deprives children of contacts with others needed for normal social development. The results also rebut the concern that children taught at home will be unable to become productive members of a diverse society."

Education Bureaucrats ['call them "Educrats"] have been quite successful in conditioning parents to believe that the endless insults their children must endure on a daily basis about their intelligence, body size, hair color, athletic prowess, clothing, or other things that may make a child appear different, like glasses or braces, is actually an important part of this, so called, socialization process. It's rather sad how many parents there are who believe, or want to believe, that this will "toughen" their child to the "real world" and get him or her used to "how it is out there." Actually this reduces self-esteem, self-worth and can cause depression and in other ways actually hamper a person's ability to function appropriately. Children and teens become "peer dependant" for their Identity, rather than "parent dependent" as they should be. Morals, values and other thinking skills give way to "group mentality."

All of us who have attended public schools are aware of the downside of peer pressure--teasing, posturing, dominance, foul language, sexual pressure, availability of drugs and weapons, and the fighting that goes on daily. Whenever people ask me about socialization, I remind them of the children who are beaten, shot, raped, or 'otherwise harmed in the public school setting. I tell them of programs in the Home Education movement offering field trips, science or music classes or other appropriate socialization opportunities. I also tell them of the church and service activities my children are involved with.

So many people misunderstand socialization. Webster talks of socialization as -"to render sociable, as to make fit for life in companionship with others," or "to participate in friendly interchange with other people." This simple explanation helps me to know that as a parent, I am doing the best job possible of helping my children to become able to "participate in friendly interchange with other people."

I remember on a recent trip to Chicago, one of my Social Worker friends met my daughter for the first time. She was so impressed with her ability to communicate on an intelligent level and with her appropriate behavior, that she asked me where my daughter attended school. When I told her that we have been home educating our daughter, she almost fell over with surprise. However, when she recovered from her initial shock, she asked me to tell her sister all about home education, and of course my views on socialization.

I know the idea that most people have about home education is that we are "completely isolated islands, hidden from the rest of the 'cruel world', protecting our children from all the 'vestiges of evil'", but in reality, we are trying to give our children the kind of loving environment and training they will need to succeed in this world. As parents we do NOT shy away from the tough subjects. Rather, we deal with them head on and try to help our children learn how to treat others and how to make good decisions. My theory is that if you can read and write, do some math, communicate with others, maintain proper morals and values and are able to work with others in a cooperative manner, then you are well on your way to becoming successful in whatever vocation you might choose.

As for socialization, it is not a word we should be afraid of, rather, we should use it to our advantage. You see, we as home educating parents are learning ourselves, and teaching our children to become "fit for life in companionship with others." Let us keep this simple goal in mind the next time someone asks us the question..."But what about SOCIALIZATION?" many people misunderstand socialization. Webster talks of socialization as -"to render sociable, as to make fit for life in companionship with others," or "to participate in friendly interchange with other people." This simple explanation helps me to know that as a parent, I am doing the best job possible of helping my children to become able to "participate in friendly interchange with other people."

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