AZN Pryde

1. You over use the word Yo, Mad, and Son. (ex: Yo that music is Mad Loud Son)
2. You talk about sellouts (like me), but you don't know nothing about your culture
3. You eat spaghetti with chop sticks
4. Your parents spank you with chopsticks
5. You can completely blindold your eyes with dental floss
6. You wear the most expensive clothes in school, but never have any lunch money
7. You have a classmate with the same last name and people assume you two are related
8. Your math score is twice your verbal score on the SAT
9. You actually spend your time reading the you know if you're asian jokes
10. When people look at you they start feeling like buying Tommy, beacuse of the huge advirtisment on your shirt
11. You are wearing DKNY while you mother is walking around in worn out shirts
12. While you are eating rice, little peices of it stick to your clothing
13. Somehow teachers expect you to be smart
14. You try to be either white, or black, mainly black
15. All your non-asian friends (if you have any) love chinese food, while you're sick of it
16. You and you're parents are talking normally, you're friend's say why is your mom screaming at you?
17. People automatically think you know some form of martial arts
18. Complete strangers ask, "Do you speak English?"
19. People ask you to translate the menu in Chinese restaurants
20. People think you're related to Bruce Lee
1.You don't order sweet and sour pork, egg foo young, or chop suey at a chinese restaurant.
2.You have a pager, even though you don't really need it.
3.You have a really nice pager, with an alphanumeric display.
4.You have a cellular phone, even though you don't really need it.
5.You hate to spend more than $5 for lunch.
6.You drive a Honda.
7.You have custom rims on your Honda.
8.You have a chinese knick-knack hanging on your rear view mirror.
9.You like to eat chicken feet.
10.You suck on fish heads and fish fins.
11.You turn bright red after drinking 2 tablespoons of beer.
12.You can get a buzz on Coors Cutter, O'Doul's, or Miller Sharps.
13.You look like you are 18.
14.You always look up at women, if you are male.
15.You always look up at men, if you are female.
16.You live at your parents house, and you are not claimed as a dependent by them.
17.You only buy used cars.
18.You have more than 5 remote controls in your TV room.
19.You sing Karaoke.
20.You have a custom stereo in your Honda with the custom rims.
21.You entire house is covered with tile.
22.You have those plastic walkways covering your hallway and other heavy foot traffic areas.
23.You own a gun if you are male.
24.You have plastic or some other kind of cover on your furniture.
25.You leave the plastic on your lampshade for 10 years or more.
26.You eat family dinners with the TV on.
27.You have an incredible amount of clutter in your house.
28.You can't bear to throw away things. 29.You are an engineer.
30.Your dad washes his hair 4 times a year.
31.You hate getting B's.
32.Your house smells like preserved fish.
33.Your house smells like chinese medicine.
34.You have about 12-20 uncles and aunts.
35.You've never kissed your mom or dad.
36.You've never hugged your mom or dad.
37.Your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500.
38.You wear contacts, to avoid wearing your "coke bottle glasses".
39.You've worn glasses since you were in fifth grade.
40.You had a bowl cut before.
41.You go to yard sales often.
42.If you lose a dollar, you dwell upon it for more then 5 minutes.
43.Your parents own a restaurant or grocery store.
44.You love to "buck" the system.
45.If you are overcharged you scream bloody murder, but if you are undercharged, U go your merry way.
46.Your hair sticks up when you wake up.
47.You get a rush from getting a good deal.
48.You'll make ridiculous offers when bargaining. ("I'll give you $5 for that car")
49.You'll haggle over something that is not negotiable.
50.You love to use coupons.
51.You drive around looking for the cheapest gas.
52.You add twice the recommended amount of water when making orange juice from concentrate.
53.You'll squeeze a toothpaste tube down to paper thin.
54.You take showers at night.
55.You'll drive around for hours looking for the best parking space.
56.You'll learn about sex from someone other then your parents.
57.You'll be convinced your parents had sex as many times as required to produce you and your siblings.
58.You've never seen your parents kiss.
59.You've never seen your parents hug.
60.Your grandmother lives with you and your family.
61.Your Honda has been "lowered".
62.You never buy stuff from the concession stands at the movies.
63.You tip 15% or less.
64.You never order dessert at restaurants.
65.You always have water only when dining out.
66.You refuse to use the valet.
67.You try not to use the bellhop, for fear of tipping.
68.You avoid the non-free snacks in hotel rooms.
69.You don't mind squeezing 20 people into one motel room.
70.You want your dollar back from the friend who borrowed it right away.
71.You get the runs when you drink lots of milk.
72.Most girls have more body hair than you if you are male.
73.You have a great love for cameras.
74.Sanrio means a lot to you if you are female.
75.Your fridge stinks.
76.Your parents don't want you to move out when you turn 18.
77.Your parents want to live with you when they are old.
78.You tap the table when someone pours tea for you.
79.You point to your nose when referring to yourself.
80.You say "Aiya!" and "Wah!" frequently.
81.You lie about your kids' ages when going to a movie or amusement park.
82.You lie about your age to get a senior citizen's discount.
83.You don't want to wear your seatbelt because it is uncomfortable.
84.You love Las Vegas, slot machines, and blackjack.
85.You love to play Mahjong.
86.You want to marry an Asian.
87.You have to read all your parents' mail written in english.
88.You have to make phone calls for your parents to english speakers.
89.Your parents ask you if you are home when you come home.
90.You get a knuckle in your skull if you are being punished by your parents.
91.You are constantly being set up with uninteresting people by your parents.
92.You always hear about how great so-and-so's son or daughter is.
93.Your Honda has the "boom".
94.Your parents wish you would give 30% of your income to them.
95.Your childhood is filled with painful memories of the long feather duster
96.You can use the words "chink" and "gook" with impunity.
97.Your clothes smell like fried foods.
98.You talk at the top of your voice at all occasions.
99.You hate eating cheese.
100.You use credit cards and pay monthly bills in full.
101.You make sounds when you have a bowl of soup.
102.You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine,
finance or computer science.
103.If you play a musical instrument, it must be piano
104.You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table
105.Your stove is covered with aluminum foil
106.Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it
107.You beat eggs with chopsticks
108.You always leave outdoor shoes at the door
109.You use the dishwasher as a dish rack
110.You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times
111.You boil water before drinking
112.You eat all meals in the kitchen to keep your dining room clean
113.You don't use measuring cups when preparing foods
114.You save grocery bags and use them to hold garbage
115.You have a rice cooker
116.You're a wok user
117.You wash rice 2-3 times before cooking it.
118.You don't dry clean clothes, even if they need to be dry cleaned.
119.You iron your own shirts.
120.You like congee (Zhou1) with thousand year old eggs (Song1 Hua1egg).
121.You always cook yourself, even if you hate it.
122.You keep most of your money in a savings account.
123.You buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off.
124.When you hand wash dishes, you only use cold water.
125.When toilet paper is on sale, you buy 100 rolls and store them.
126.U carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (travel means any car ride longer than 15mins)
127.When you go to a dance party, there are a wall of guys surrounding the dance floor trying to look cool.
128.Your house/apt. is always cold in winter, and hot in summer.
129.Your mom drives her Mercedes to Price Club, or Shoppers Food Warehouse regardless how far it is.
130.You always look phone #'s up in the phone book, since calling Directory Assistance costs 50 cents.
131.You only make long distance calls after 11pm or during weekends.
132.You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached.
133.You think ONLY Japanese can make good CARS!
134.You starve yourself before going to all-you-can-eat places.
135.You've joined a CD club at least once.
1.Your mother has a short-haired, curly perm.
2.Your dad is some sort of engineer.
3.Your parents still try to get you in at half price, saying you're 12 when you're really 15.
4.You ask your parents a math problem and 2 hours later, they're still lecturing.
5.You have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantry.
6.At some time in your life you have felt short.
7.Everyone thinks you're "Chinese" no matter where in Asia your ancestors were from.
8.You've had a bowl haircut at one point in your life.
9.Your parents are always comparing you to their friend's kids,
10.You've had to sit through karaoke videos in which scantily clad, ugly Asian women attempt to dance and walk around a temple, forest, or library.
11.Your parents say, "Don't forget your heritage."
12.You drive mostly Japanese cars.
13.You've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom.
14.You've had to eat parts of animals they wouldn't even put in hot-dogs.
15.At least once, you've started a joke with, "Confucius said........"
16.You know what bok choy is.
17.You've never gotten little red envelopes around February.
18.Piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open front, back, and closet doors.
19.You hear your name plus eee (optional) plus a yah! every time somebody calls you. (ie. jean-eee-yah or Mary-yah)
20.You have NO eyelashes.
21.Idiot people try to impress you with pathetic imitation Asian languages like the ever so popular "ching chong woo bok chi, etc.
22.The biology lecture on marine life (seaweed, sea cucumbers, octopi) was last night's dinner.
23.Your ancestors 1,000 generations back invented the back scratcher.
24.At least one family member wears black wire/plastic frame glasses.
25.Your parents hover over your tired, caffeine drugged body at midnight to say, "In China (or other native country), we studied even more."
26.Your parents expect you'll be best friends with anyone off the street in any given area as long as they're Asian.
27.An Asian woman comes on campus and people ask, "Is that your mom? Well, then, is that your sister?"
28.Your relatives' houses smell like incense, mothballs, or both.
29.Your parents say "Calculus!? I took calculus in 8th grade!"
30.Everyone thinks you're good at math, except your parents who think you're slow.
31.Your parent's vocabulary is filled with "Ai-yahs and Wahs"
32.You like $1.75 movies.
33.You like $1.50 movies even more.
34.Your aunts and uncles bring you back adorable clothing from Asia with fuzzy bunnies, vinyl ducks, and English words that make no sense, in great colors like yellow, pink, magenta, orange, and the ever popular lime green.
35.Your relatives ask you if you've gained weight, or lost weight.
36.You never order chop suey, sweet and sour pork, or any other imitation oriental food.
37.You either REALLY want to go to UC or REALLY want to stay away from it.
38.Your parents have never kissed you.
39.Your parents have never kissed each other.
40.You learn about the birds and the bees from someone other than your parents.
41.You hear: "You want a stereo!? When I was your age, I didn't even have shoes!!"
42.People see a bunch of scribbles on chopsticks and ask you to translate.
43.You have to call just about all your parent's friends "Auntie and Uncle."
44.You have 12+ aunts and uncles.
45.At expensive restaurants, you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage and NEVER order dessert.
46.Your parents simply cut the green/black part off the bread and say "See? Still good. Eat."
47.The vast majority of people related to you wear glasses. Thick glasses .
48.You will most likely be taller than your parents.
49.Your parents have made you play the piano, the violin, or both.
50.You get nothing if you do well in school, but crapped on if you don't.
51.When going to other people's houses, you always bring a gift.
52.Your dad still pulls his socks up to his knees, you know, the ones with the blue and pink strips at the top.
53.Your family owns a tennis racquet, golf clubs, or both.
54.When at a restaurant, your parents and guests fight over the check for an hour.
55.The furniture in your house never matches the wallpaper, the carpet, the decorations, or any of the rest of the furniture.
56.You have rocks, leaves, and strange smelling unknown substances in your pantry used as medicine.
57.Your family always cheers for the Asian athletes on TV.
58.You own a rice cooker or two.
59.You buy soy sauce by the gallon.
60.Your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head.
61.Your parents tell you about how long it took for them to get to school, how horrible the weather was in their native country, and how much they still appreciated going.
62.Your parents buy you clothes and shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow into it" and wear it for "years to come."
63.Your head burns in the summertime.1.Your mother has a short-haired, curly perm.