Asian Perfection?

How to be a Perfect Asian Parent (from the second generation perspective) 1- Be a little more lenient on the 7pm curfew. 2- Don't ask where the other point went when your child comes home with 99 grade on his/her report card. 3- Don't "ai-yah" loudly at your kid's dress habits. 4- Don't blatantly hint about the merits of Hah-foo (Harvard), Yal-uh (Yale), Stan-foo (Stanford), and Emeh-I-Tee (MIT). 5- Don't reveal all the intimate details of your kid's life to the entire Asiancommunity. 6- Don't ask your child, "What are you going to do with your life" if he/she majors in a non-science field. 7- Don't give your son a bowl haircut or your daughter two acres of bangs. 8- Don't try to set your kid up on a date in anticipation of their poor taste or inept social skills. 9- Incorporate other phrases besides, "Did you study yet?" into your daily conversations with your children. 10- Don't ask all your kid's friends over the age of 21 if they have a boy/girlfriend yet. How to be a Perfect Asian Kid (from the first generation perspective) 1- Score 1600 on the SAT. 2- Play the violin or piano on the level of a concert performer. 3- Apply to and be accepted by 27 colleges. 4- Go to a prestigious Ivy League university and win enough scholarship to pay for it. 5- Have three hobbies: studying, studying, studying. 6- Love classical music and detest talking on the telephone. 7- Become a Westinghouse, Presidential and eventually a Rhodes Scholar. 8- Aspire to be a brain surgeon. 9- Marry an Asian-American doctor and have perfect, successful children (grandkids for ah-ma and ah-goong!). 10- Love to hear stories about your parents' childhood...especially the one about walking 7 miles to school without shoes.