What Kind of Asian Are you?

1. The asian gangster guy Usually seen: At the local billiards hall, at the local video arcade, at the bowling alley, at the college recreation room (ditching class) and the at Korean Karaoke bar. Usually wears: Ultimately insanely huge baggy pants, Nike visor (upside down), Nike warm-up jacket. Pager/beeper/cellular phone (it has to be exposed so everyone can see it!). Also, he wears to many designer clothes just for their labels. ( Hilfiger, Nautica, CK, Ralph Lauren, and JNCO)... accessories: earrings and a ho. a great Street Fighter and Tekken player. No matter who's around (parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, teachers)....he alwayshas to act hard and tough. Gives that bad impression to everyone! very good at the art of the home-invasion robbery. has extremely extra long bangs covering his eyes. always tries to look hard, but inactually he looks asleep. an avid smoker, always holds his cigarette between his index and middle finger. doesn't know how to smoke only does for the tough image. only fights if he has ten guys backing him up. usually drives a slammed Honda Civic or Acura Integra or Mitsubishi Eclipse, which he tries to squeeze 10 people inside. has stickers on every inch of their car. drives fast too impress his friends or his chick...actually he's endangering the lives of the people, pedestrians around him. Of course, he is a racer...fixing up his car for "racing". calls other asians "nigga" and is dying of the ebonic plague. too much talk and not enough action! Girls hang with him because of his " big " reputation plus he's got other guys hanging around him and guys hang with him because they think that he can protect him by bringing backup whenever anything happens and the want him to hook them up with pagers, phones, and girls. 2. The asian show-off Usually seen: At the local billiards hall, at the bowling alley, at the church youth groups, at the college recreation room (trying to pick up on girls!) and at the casino (trying to act like a high roller). Usually wears: Tucked-in dress shirt with loose-fit khakis. Holster for his cell phone. always showing off his cellphone, constantly talks into it...sometimes fakes that he talking into it so he can impress the girls. every one of these guys have circular glasses! another avid smoker, like a chimney! usually drives a Mazda RX-7 or a Toyota Supra. thinks he can drive fast, but actually drives like an old Chinese woman, on a cellular phone (which is probably one of the most dangerous drivers on the road!) always says that he's peaceful and he claims Asian pride, but he has gangster tendencies when there is a threat to his popularity or when a guy moves in on his girl. tries to be a high roller...thinks he's an awesome gambler. always wears designer clothes, never wears shorts...even if it's 90 degrees outside. has too much Dragon Ball crap in his web-site. Girls hang with him so he can spend money on them or they just want to be seen in his car. Guys hang with him because they also want him to spend money on them and they want to steal valuables in his house! 3. The asian squatter Usually seen: At the local billiards hall, at the bowling alley, at the college recreation room (playing billiards, of course), in the front of every asian restaurant (squatting, of course) Usually wears: Tries to make his clothes look baggy...but never can quite get the look of the gangster. Then ends up wearing long shorts. Always wears slippers. usually a new immigrant to the states (aka F.O.B.s <--I hate that term!) always smokes while squatting always speaks native language while making fun of people who do not speak his language (i.e. Americans and Asian-Americans) the master of the home invasion robbery. yet when he pulls a robbery, he always brags about it or shows off his fortune, which ends up getting him caught for his foolishness. a compulsive gambler, will gamble any game and gamble anything he owns. cannot live without cheating...he is dishonest. cheats at every test...thing is that when he cheats, everyone knows it and he brags about it. always lying, saying B.S. stories about the fights he won, the money he won and the houses he robs...of course, this puts him behind bars. Girls only talk to him when they want to cheat on a test otherwise they detest him, and guys hang with him because they want to hire him for a robbery or that he's crazy enough to do whatever they say! 4. The asian basketball player Usually seen: At the local billiards hall, at the basketball court and at the gym. Usually wears: Nike or Addidas shoes. Nike tank top and North Carolina basketball shorts. Also, Nike warm-ups with one pant leg up. also known as the "baller" has the most expensive Nike shoes on earth...(this goes with my theory that the worst basketball players at the local courts have the best and most expensive shoes!) does too many headfakes and pumpfakes. his girlfriend is always watching him play, she is usually sitting on the bench or in the stands, staring at other guys. always wears those Nike muscles shirts, you know the sleeveless ones...yet they're so skinny, they look so stupid in them. of course he wears the Nike visor, upside-down though. tries to hustle other basketball players, but ends up losing all his money. because he can't play for squat! tries to ball, but ends up fouling everyone and bitching about feeling fouled. Girls can care less about him and Guys use him for hook-ups for shoes and clothes. 5. The asian white guy Usually seen: At a bar with his white guy buddies, drinking copious amounts of beer and listening to hard rock Usually wears: plaid shirts, concert T-shirt (NIN or Van Halen, usually), non-baggy jeans and construction boots. usually drinks to much, to cope with his "problems" makes way too big a deal about his ethnicity (calls himself "chink" all the time) lusts after blonde chicks who wouldn't give him the time of day always complains about Asian white girls who go out with white guys and stares daggers at'em glares at fobby types because they "ruin his image" purposely does badly in school to dispel the stereotype . gets drunk on the fumes of Vodka, Everclear or Wild Turkey. usually vomitting around last call because of the lack of digentive enzymes Girls are intimidated by his bitterness, and guys only hang out with him because he gets drunk and buys people extra rounds. 6. the clubber Attributes: Shops at Gadzooks or Merry Go Round, or any place that sells 'club wear'. Keeps himself in excellent physical shape. Wears tight hard-body shirts whenever he can. Won't wear anything bigger than a medium (Prevents others from seeing his physique). -Pants are a bit baggy, but not too baggy. Has no girlfriend per se, but has many female friends. Not a trouble-maker, but always looks for action at the clubs. Drives a tricked-out car, but prefers a domestic just to be different. Gets along with everyone. Has no attributes for others to dislike him. Girls hang out with him because he can bench at least 225 and has 16-inch arms. Guys hang out with him hoping that they can get hooked up with the girls that follow him around.      You know that you go clubbing too much when:      You spend your life savings at Gadzooks or Merry Go Round. If you're low on cash, Structure or the Foley's/Macy's men's department will do.      You spend your time working out at the gym instead of studying in the library for the final exam you have the next day.      You go clubbing right after working out, take the final exam the following morning, and immediately return to the club scene after giving up all hope on                the final exam you just failed miserably.      You decide that Thurday night through Saturday night isn't enough and start clubbing Sunday night through Wednesday night instead.      Your shiny polyester top can be seen at night from a hundred miles away.      You would wear your top to the grocery store, but since it's in the laundry your size XS Fruit-of-the-Loom undershirt will do.      Five minutes after entering the club, mysteriously you always end up in the middle of a circle and all other dancing around you comes to a screeching halt.