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Conker's Bad Fur Day
Although the latest blockbuster game from Rare is currently out in America, in the rest of the
world it won't be available until May. Fortunately, Gamesmark is here to tide all European and
Australian gamers over until Conker debuts on their N64s, with this in-depth preview!
Conker has been a planned game for Rare for many years now - it was originally intended to be
released around the same time as Rare's other platform game, Banjo-Kazooie. Conker's Quest, as
it was then called, starred a cute squirrel named Conker, who roamed around a bright and cheerful
cartoon world collecting acorns, helped on his way by his friendly chipmunk buddy Berri.
Now, several years later, Conker is finally on his way to the Nintendo 64. He is still a cute
squirrel, but apart from that, everything else is slightly different.
Conker's Bad Fur Day is one of the most shocking, violent and puerile games ever created.
Whether this was a cunning plan of Rare to sell games to adult gamers, or whether they just went
absolutely insane, is up for debate. The juxtaposition of cuddly animals and bloody violence and
sexual innuendoes makes for a very sick experience - but contrary to expectations, the adult
themes are not just to cover up an otherwise poor game.
Conker's BFD has widely been acclaimed as one awesome platform game, and for good reason. It's
a bit different from Rare's other N64 platform games in that collecting a multitude of items
and tokens is not required - in fact, there's virtually no collecting at all. The game is
composed of a number of areas with tasks to perform, with Conker moving from one to another as
the game progresses. Completing tasks gets Conker the one collectible thing in the game - money!
Money is used by Conker to gain access to new areas by bribing guards, and to purchase various
other helpful items.
The tasks which Conker must perform to earn this cash range from odd to downright bizarre. He
must battle a number of bosses - including a gigantic mound of excrement who attacks by
bombarding Conker with faecal matter, and a furnace boss whose only weak points are his large
brass 'dangly bits'. Other challenges include Conker providing a tank full of cow dung by
forcing a herd of cows to drink prune juice, and bringing a drunken bee and a talking flower
together for some... pollination.
However, what's even more fun than the often-hilarious challenges is the number of hugely
enjoyable movie spoofs found in the game. One such spoof is a parody of Saving Private Ryan, as
a gang of squirrels attempt to storm a beach in Tediz country, while being torn apart by
machine gun fire. Another section of the game is based on the lobby scene in The Matrix, as
Conker and Berri enter the lobby and begin blasting weasel guards with their huge arsenal of
weapons. Whenever Conker leaps into the air the action slows down to a fraction of the usual
speed, and Conker is able to do that 'whirling hands' thingy as bullets fly past him with
their spinning contrails. It looks supremely cool, to say the least. Yet another section has
Conker transformed into a bat by Count Dracula, and has to grab the local villagers and drop
them into a mincing machine to feed the Count, after first stunning them with bat droppings.
How tasteful.
Conker's BFD also features a multiplayer mode, for up to four players. This is Rare's third
platform-game multiplayer, but after the reasonable Banjo-Tooie one and the frankly rubbish
Donkey Kong 64 one, it seems that this time Rare have really gone to town. There are a
number of completely different multiplayer modes, and computer controlled players can join in
in addition to the humans. There is a standard deathmatch mode which can be played in all of
the multiplayer levels, which is fun enough, but each level also has its own special game, and
it's here that the fun and variety really kick in.
The first multiplayer game is the 'Beach' mode. This puts the players into
two teams, one of which control characters trying to storm a beach, a la Private Ryan, while the
other team has to mow them down with some heavy artillery. It's a totally different challenge
depending on which side you're playing, but equally fun for both teams.
Another game is the 'Heist' mode. This mode gives each player control of a weasel burglar, whose
task it is to grab a sack of cash and take it to their base. While carrying the money, you can't
wield a weapon, but the other players can and will use various engines of destruction to wipe
you out and take the cash to their own base. Again, it's really fun to play.
Yet another mode has players again on two teams, one as caveman trying to steal dinosaur eggs
and take them back to their cave, while the other team is comprised of dinosaurs trying to
kill the cavemen and take their corpses back to their own cave to feed their babies. Another mode
is a racing game, complete with destructive weapons and powerups, but only one racetrack. And
there are other multiplayer modes as well.
In short, then, Conker's Bad Fur Day is one very sick, disgusting, bloody, rude and downright
hilarious platform game. Not surprisingly, it is rated as suitable for mature gamers (which
excludes Tangycheese, naturally), and it's definitely unsuitable for youngsters. But if
you can stand all the lewd and crude subject matter, it plays extremely well, and the multiplayer
mode is awesome fun. If you're old enough, you should pick up this game the second it hits the
shops in May. Unless you live in America, in which case you've probably already picked it up.
You lucky people.
Written by: Maverik
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