What On Earth?-Column #22, March 2004

OK, this is the month where we all think about Spring Cleaning. Mowing the lawn, pruning the tree branches, shearing the bushes, etc. Spring is more than just warmer weather, you know. And, for many of us, we think about Spring Break, getting a week off from the books, and a week on the beach, etc. This is also includes St. Patty's Day, which I'll also get into detail on. But, we're all reeling from the effects of a few things.

Let's start with the Super Bowl. The talk, as you may or may not have been aware, has been centered on the halftime show fiasco involving Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake. Toward the end of the halftime show, Justin pulled off the left side of Janet's coat, revealing some kind of surgery on her naked breast. Many of us now know that as the "Wardrobe Malfunction." Justin has apologized, and Viacom, parent company of CBS and MTV, has also apologized. Let's just hope something like that never happens again.

Secondly, let's talk about the Oscars. If you're a huge "Lord Of The Rings" fan, and I'm one of them, you're gonna be happy, as it picked up 11 Oscars. There were other winners of course, but that was the biggie.

Of course, we all also have been feeling the effects of the wintery weather, which has just moved out. We all know how bad it was in 2003, but 2004 is another story. Bunches of snow fell over parts of the US and Canada, and although there were a few casualties, we were ready to move on!

Next stop focuses on Martha Stewart, the domestic diva, who has been convicted of securities fraud, and 3 other charges relating to her Imclone stock. The future of her company, Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia, is in the air, and most CBS stations have pulled her hit TV show from their schedules.

And, as of right now, the hot topic as of right now, is Same-Sex Marriage. President Bush wants a constitutional amendment banning it, saying that the definition should be limited to "a union between a man and a woman." I don't like that idea. And besides, I'm for the Same-Sex Marriages that have been going on in Massachusetts, California, and so forth. Here's my say: If you can't find the mate of the opposite sex in your life, marry a mate of the same sex. I'd do that.

And, speaking of the President, Massachusetts senator John Kerry, is the nominee for the Democratic party. He's been challenging Bush on a number of things, from the Iraqi war, to jobs, to a lot of "broken promises." And I agree with Kerry. Bush has been bringing a lot of negative things to this country, ever since 9-11. From the War in Iraq that cost us over a million lives (more on that in a bit) to the millions of lost jobs, I see Bush going the same path as his dad: His re-election campaign will ultimately BITE THE DUST.

Speaking of the Iraqi war, it's been a year since Bush took us there. His dad may have taken us to war with Iraq at the right time in 1991, but here we are in 2004, and THIS Bush claims that this war is was the right one, because he "wanted to finish what his Dad begun." And while we may have gotten rid of Saddam and killed his sons, we've had a lot more casualties than just his sons, and those Saddam and anti-US loyalists. The US is the one who's got the most, with over a half-billion of our own troops killed. Luckily, we still got the woman who made headlines after her capture and rescue. That's right, 1st Private Officer Jessica Lynch.

Now, let's focus on St. Patrick's Day. It's where everyone celebrates this national Irish holiday by wearing green. If you're caught not wearing green, you're gonna get pinched, as an old tradition goes. It's also a week before my birthday, in which I turn 21.

Now, if you're a big fan of Game Show Network, and I certainly am, I've got some bad news. We've usually called it GSN for short, and that's what it's gonna be permanently. It's "GSN-The Network For Games." They've decided to add in reality and casino programming to the traditional "game show" mix. It's gonna take me some time to get used to it.

And speaking of me turning 21, well, that's the legal gambling age in those states that allow gambling, including Nevada, New Jersey, and so on. It's also the legal drinking age. We've seen those new "If You're Under 21, Please Don't Drink" ads, and they're sending a message to us. If you're under 21, and drinking, or if you're 21 or over and giving alcohol to someone under 21, you could get fined and maybe even jailed.

And, to wrap things up, I'll give my insights on the new "Survivor: All-Stars", which premiered after the Super Bowl. 18 former castaways (4 of whom have been the big winners) are coming back to play the game one more time, in the Pearl Islands, site of the previous version. So far, so good. Of course, once the 4 big winners have been booted, we know for sure, there WILL be a new name to add to the winners' list.

Well, that's all for now! Spring has Sprung, and it's time for me to Spring on outta here! This is John Lee saying, "Go HOME!"