What On Earth?-Column #3, August 2002

My, how fast summer flies! As you may as well know, THIS is the time when everyone's back in school. Well, I'm a college student, but UNLIKE some OTHER college students, I start LATER, and get out EARLIER. My sister, who's ALSO a college student, starts LATER, but GETS OUT LATER as well! Considering she's got a job, and I DON'T, she's lucky, but NOT as lucky as me.

Now, 2 months ago, we got a taste of the new NBC quiz/reality show "Dog Eat Dog," and is the FOURTH to cross the pond (a.k.a. It originated in the UK). The host is Dallas-born Brooke Burns of Baywatch fame. This is a stunt show, although SOME of the stunts involve questions. Before each stunt, 6 contestants vote for who THEY think is least likely to complete the stunt. That person attempts the stunt, and if successful, they choose someone else to sit in the "Dog Pound." If unsuccessful, THEY sit in the Dog Pound. This keeps going until 4 make it. The final 2 go head-to-head in a FINAL stunt, and who ever succeeds is the TOP DOG. That person and the Dog Pound go head-to-head in a question shootout involving various categories. The Top Dog chooses who would least likely answer a question CORRECTLY about that particular category. If successful, The Dog Pound gets a point, if not, the Top Dog. Whoever gets 3 points wins the game and $25,000 in cash. If the Dog Pound wins, simple: those 5 split the $25K (a.k.a. $5K each), and the Top Dog gets NOTHING. Sounds a little too much pressure to me, but I can take it.

Second, Fox brings up "30 Seconds Of Fame," and it's NOT a game show, really, but it does have a game show TWIST. This show features people performing ordinary to extraordinary stunts for 30 seconds. 4 are chosen as finalists, doing the same thing as the first part. Whoever does the best wins $25,000 in cash! But in the first part, there's a catch, if the audience, who votes on ALL parts, thinks that a stunt is NOT so good, the eliminator turns on. There are 3 color indicators, kinda like what you see on a traffic light: Green, Yellow, and Red. If it goes to Red, well, That person is ELIMINATED! Hmm. I'll ponder that, while I ponder THIS:

Speaking of Fox summer hits, "American Idol: The Search For A Superstar," is going as planned, that is, it's going well, as usual. Simon Cowell, one of the judges, is nicknamed the judge you LOVE to HATE. You think you've done well, he thinks otherwise. Well, if I were the judge, I'D be the decider. I mean, I, like so many of you, out there, am a HUGE Pop Music fan, next to my sister, who has more CDs than I do. She's the CD-type, but I'm more of the MP3 type. So, if they can't find a BETTER judge than Simon, well, By all means, let's do "American Idol: The Search For A BETTER JUDGE!"

Also, "Lingo" came to GSN. This is a revival of a classic 80's game show. The NEW show originates in the Netherlands, where the name and show both come from, although they ARE coming to the US for a few shows, AND the show's US-based, nontheless. This show involves figuring out 5-letter words on a Bingo-style card, without the free space, and even better, SPELLING OUT THE WORDS! Anyone could do this! In addition, you also compete to get 5 numbers in a row, minus the Free Space. In the two-round front game, 2 teams of two contestants each compete, by guessing 5-letter words. They're first shown the first letter of a mystery word. They use symbols to tell which letters are in the word, which ones are not in the word, and which ones are in the word but in the wrong place. Each correct word wins 25 points, and the chance to draw two Lingo Balls, with numbers corresponding to the numbers on your Lingo card, which has 12 numbers out of 25 marked off at random. If you draw a RED ball, which has been the staple ever since the show's beginning, you lose control to the other team at that time. If, after two draws, you haven't drawn a Red ball, you retain control, and you get a new word. If you get a Lingo, you get 50 points, and a new card. The first team has odd numbers, the second has even numbers. In round 2, correct words were worth 50, and Lingos were worth 100. There are also three "?" balls in the hopper at the bottom of each team's podium, and when one of these is drawn, they can be used as "wild cards" and can mark off any number. At the end of the front game, the winning team gets to play Bonus Lingo for cash and prizes. That team has 2 minutes to guess as many 5-letter words as they can, with each correct word awarding them $100 in cash and a Lingo Ball for their Bonus Lingo card. For the Bonus Lingo card, 13 numbers are marked off, and if a Lingo is made, the team also wins a $4000 prize package in addition to the cash, otherwise, they only win the cash.

Well, as for my A-Teens familiarity, I've gotten it up to 6 "ABBA Generation songs ("The Name Of The Game" AND "One Of Us" being the latest, see Column #1 for others), and 10 "Teen Spirit" songs ("For All That I Am", "That's What (It's All About)" AND "Back For More" being the latest, see Column #1 for others). I have NOT listened to ANY of the "Pop 'Til You Drop" songs JUST YET! I'll get that opportunity later. And remember, my philosophy is this: You are NOT a True ABBA fan without one of the GREATEST hits ever, that took me 2 or 3 months to learn: DANCING QUEEN! I've also learned the 2 "ABBA Generation" bonus songs: "Knowing Me, Knowing You," and "Happy New Year." Now, in Japan and Europe, these bonus songs are added to the first 11 songs, depending on where you live. Also, "Can't Stop The Pop," "Give It Up," "Don't Even Know Your Name," "Heartbreak Lullaby" (from the Disney movie "The Princess's Diaries"), and "I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday" (Various groups like the Spice Girls and THIS group have sung this song, but the ACTUAL group that composed AND sung this song is Wizzard, a rock band), are the bonus songs from "Teen Spirit." As for ANY bonus songs from "Pop 'Til You Drop," well, there AREN'T any at the moment! Now, also, I've gotten the ORIGINAL versions of ALL the "ABBA Generation" songs LISTED HERE. I REPEAT, LISTED HERE. In other words, I haven't learned the lyrics to ALL the songs!

So, to close this up, I say this: I, like you, get a little TOO Frustrated about Summer going by so fast. So, WHAT good is summer vacation, if people aren't taking advantage of it about 90% of the time? Do people think that 3 months are better than 4 months of Summer Vacation? "WHAT ON EARTH!" And, as always, in the words of "20/20"'s own John Stossel, "GIVE ME A BREAK!"

Well, stay tuned for a special "What On Earth?" tribute to 9-11, coming up next month. Until then, this is John Lee saying, go back HOME!