What On Earth?-Column #53, October 2006

Here we are in October. This month it's all about Halloween. From candy to costumes, chocolates to ghosts, you've got it all right here. Once again, make sure your costumes are flame-resistant, and don't eat any candy until you get home, kiddies. But first things first, we need to take care of the usual.

The first category of this column is NEWS. We start off with the tragic passing of Steve Irwin, aka the Crocodile Hunter. While he was filming a documentary in Australia (his home country, nonetheless), he was shooting to close to the animals in the water. One of those animals, a stingray, managed to pierce a hole in Steve's heart, while he was shooting it. The rest of his crew tried CPR to no avail, and by the time he was taken to the hospital, it was already too late. Steve Irwin tragically died at the age of 54, doing what he loved best: Taking care of animals.

As you can also imagine, the war in Iraq is really taking its toll, as the death toll continues to go up. And both parties (Republican and Democrat) have gone at each other to see who really knows who has the better plan to get our troops home. We just have to hope those troops come home soon, as we are now one month away from the crucial mid-term congressional elections that will decide who controls Congress. I'm a Democrat, and I'm hoping for change, as "Change is the only constant in the universe." Other issues have included the minimum wage increase, which the Democratic party supports and the Republican Party (aka NOT the GOP) opposes (they, on the other hand support it so long as the rich get tax cuts, which the Democrats hate). Gay Marriage is also expected to be on the agenda. Texas last year passed an amendment to ban it, and it failed in DC back in the summer. Let's hope we can overturn all those bans (not to mention those that ban abortion, in the name of the supporters of Roe V. Wade).

Next category is SPORTS. As the baseball season winds down into the World Series, many are still thinking about the Steroid controversy. As you may or may not have known, anyone who tests positives may be either suspended for a pre-determined amount of time, or banned completely. We remember what happened a year ago with Rafael Palmeiro. He'd tested positive for a substance he says he didn't know about. And while we're on the subject, let's talk about the new Tour De France champ in Floyd Landis (Lance Armstrong retired after 7 consecutive wins). After winning the race, there were rumors that he'd tested positive for Testosterone, which falls under the Steroid category. While the International Cycling Union said that that would disqualify Landis, Landis himself said he'd fight to clear his name. And that fight is far from over.

Next category is ENTERTAINMENT. This year marks the 40th anniversary of "It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown", the third in a long line of Peanuts specials that aired on CBS in 1966, and has aired on ABC since 2001. Those who know may still know about it might want to want to read, as there are those who've never watched it and those who watched but forgot (just like "A Charlie Brown Christmas").

In this special, we see Linus, the security-blanket-toting brother of the ever crabby Lucy (who always fusses about the blanket, among other things), plan his annual vigil of finding the so-called "Great Pumpkin", who Linus believes to travel around the world each Halloween giving toys to all the good little children (in the manner of Santa Claus each Christmas). However, we begin by seeing him writing a letter to the "Great Pumpkin", and looking forward to his appearance at the pumpkin patch on Halloween night. The other characters, mainly his sister Lucy, make fun of him (even Lucy threatens to attack him), but that doesn't deter him. And even Charlie Brown asks him when he'll stop believing in something that isn't true, to which Linus tells him, "When you stop believing in the fellow with the red suit who goes 'HO! HO! HO!'" (that being Santa Claus, obviously), that doesn't stop him either. In fact, even when Lucy refuses to help him mail the letter, he decides to take matters into his own hands by using his blanket to open the mailbox (any invitations he sends out are simply called "pumpkin cards"). Sally, Charlie Brown's little sister, sees Linus writing the letter and listens to him recite the legend of the "Great Pumpkin." The other characters (Charlie Brown, Lucy, etc.), on the other hand, make costumes to wear when they go out for tricks-or-treats. Most everyone goes as a ghost, including Charlie Brown; as he says he had a little trouble with the scissors (which explains the bunchs of "eyes" on his costume); among some of the other ghosts is Pig-Pen, and the other kids notice him when he walks in (his dust is an indicator). Lucy, donning a witch's mask, explained that a person should wear a costume that's in direct contrast to their own personality. And speaking of that, we see Snoopy, Charlie Brown's dog, dressed up in a flyer's helmet, goggles, and a nice scarf; which explains his personality as a World War I flying ace. In addition to the Trick-or-Treat round, the gang will head off to Violet's house for a Halloween party. Meanwhile, Linus goes out to the pumpkin patch where the gang makes fun of him, including Lucy. And when he asks if they came to sing "pumpkin carols", Lucy is the first to rib him and say that he'll miss all the fun like last year. Linus even tells her that the Great Pumpkin knows which kids have been good and which kids have been bad and that she and her friends will be sorry; as he thinks he's got the most sincere of all pumpkin patches. Sally asks if the Great Pumpkin will really come, and Linus then explains to her that Trick-or-Treating was not only a waste of time, but downright wrong, for the real purpose of Halloween was to wait in the patch for the Great Pumpkin's arrival, which he says that the ONLY patch that the Great Pumpkin will appear is in the most sincere one. The one they're perched in is the one Linus thinks is the most sincere, and he explains that one should not say "IF the Great Pumpkin comes", but always "WHEN the Great Pumpkin comes." As Linus declares, "One little slip like that can cause the Great Pumpkin to pass you by!" As the viewers will notice, we see Sally making a ghost costume and originally choosing to go along with the gang. At the last possible second, she changes her mind the minute she sees Linus at the pumpkin patch (especially when Lucy asks her whether she's going with the Trick-or-Treat gang or staying in the pumpkin patch with her Sweet Babboo). And later, we will all know that she WILL REGRET that decision, as we're about to find out.

While they await their so-called "hero"; Lucy, Charlie Brown, and the gang go on their annual Trick-or-Treat round. At the first house, Lucy's the first in line, and after getting her bag filled, she asks for an extra piece of candy for Linus, which she gets, exclaiming, "It's so embarrassing to have to ask for something extra for that blockhead Linus." (The book adaptation says she asks for an extra apple, but this has yet to be confirmed.) Well, we'll find out later if he REALLY is a blockhead of a brother of yours as you say he is, Lucy. I'm sure the rest of your friends will agree with you.

After that house, everyone announces what they got (Lucy with 5 pieces of candy, Violet with a chocolate bar, etc.); but when they get to Charlie Brown, all he can say is "I got a rock", and this goes on for the next few houses, or until their bags are completely filled with candy, apples, cookies, gum, popcorn balls, money, etc. (and from what we heard at the first house from Charlie Brown, you can pretty much tell what he got at the remaining houses!). Meanwhile, they're wondering where the World War I flying ace is (in this case, Snoopy). While they head out for tricks-or-treats, he heads out to find the Red Baron; his doghouse as a World War I flying plane.

"Here is the World War I flying ace taking off in his Sopwith Camel." With those words, our hero has set out to find the Red Baron. While he zooms across the sky, and fires away; little does he know that the Red Baron finds him, and riddles his plane with bullets. That causes smoke to puff out from behind, so he crash-lands his plane before he can be located by the Red Baron, his escape mostly on land (a little bit by water). Meanwhile, the gang is finished Trick-or-Treating, and before they stop at Violet's house for her Halloween party, they make one final stop to the pumpkin patch to make fun of Linus and Sally AGAIN (first for missing the Trick-or-Treat round, and again for missing the upcoming Halloween party). They then leave for the Halloween party, where the festivities are well underway. First, they use Charlie Brown as a guinea pig to make a Jack-o-Lantern, then they bob for apples. Lucy is the first to do it, but discovers Snoopy (and his so-called "dog germs"). Back at the Pumpkin Patch, Linus and Sally are still awaiting their "hero", as Sally says, "If anyone told me that I'd be waiting in a pumpkin patch on Halloween night, I would've said they were crazy". And Linus replies, "Just think, Sally; when the Great Pumpkin arrives, we'll be there to meet him." Just then, they hear a low rustle around the Pumpkin Patch, and to which Linus shouts "What's that?! WHAT'S THAT?! I hear the Great Pumpkin!" Suddenly, Linus thinks he's seen his hero, to where he shouts, "There he is! There he is! It's the Great Pumpkin! He's rising up out of the Pumpkin Patch!", and then faints. It turns out to be a silhouette of Snoopy in his flying outfit. Linus soon regains consciousness, saying "What happened? Did I faint? What did he leave us? Did he leave us any toys?", to which Sally shouts, "I was robbed! I spent the whole night waiting for the Great Pumpkin, when I could've been out for Tricks or Treats!" She then realizes what she just said; the next paragraph describes her anger toward Linus, as she gasps at what she just said, and then follows it up with this...

"Halloween is over and I missed it! You blockhead. You kept me up all night waiting for the Great Pumpkin, and all that came was a beagle! I didn't get a chance to go out for Tricks-or-Treats! And it was all your fault. I'LL SUE! What a fool I was. And I could've had candy, apples, and gum. And cookies and money and all sorts of things. BUT NO! I had to listen to you! You blockhead. What a fool I was. Tricks-or-Treats come only once a year, and I miss it by sitting in a pumpkin patch with a blockhead. YOU OWE ME RESTITUTION!"

And with those words, and upon arrival of the rest of the gang, she picks up Linus by his shirt and rattles him, and then heads home with the rest of the gang; to which Linus tells Charlie Brown, "You've heard of fury in a woman scorned, haven't you?" and Charlie Brown replies, "Well, yes, I guess I have," to which Linus says, "Well, that's nothing compared to the fury in a woman who's been cheated out of Tricks-or-Treats." You can say that again, Linus. And I think we can also say that you've endangered your friendship with her with your beliefs. And Sally, while you said you didn't get a chance to go out for Tricks-or-Treats, you actually DID get a chance. You just gave up that chance to go out for Tricks-or-Treats and accepted a chance to sit in a pumpkin patch with your Sweet Babboo and wait for the Great Pumpkin, which you now regret.

Unfortunately, Sally will never get the restitution she wants from him. And Linus, having put his friendship with Sally on the line with his "Great Pumpkin" beliefs, decides to wait it out in the patch alone; and from what the viewers already know, his "hero" is probably in some other sincere pumpkin patch or probably does NOT even exist. And he promises Sally and the gang that it won't be long now and he'll put in a good word for them. But...he broke his promise by saying IF the Great Pumpkin comes, instead of WHEN! He gasps at that thought, and he wonders loudly, "I'm doomed. One little slip like that can cause the Great Pumpkin to pass you by. OH, GREAT PUMPKIN, WHERE ARE YOU?!"

So, at about 4 AM, Lucy's alarm clock goes off, and she's probably wondering where Linus is. So, she starts by checking his room, but obviously it's empty. So, braving the chill of November 1 (it's probably that day already judging by the clock!), she puts on her coat and heads outside to the pumpkin patch where Linus is shivering in his blanket. She takes him inside the house and to his room; removing his shoes, helping him get into bed, and putting the covers on him (so he won't get cold) before angrily walking out of his room.

The special concludes with Charlie Brown and Linus standing at a brick wall thinking about last night; and by what we've already seen, they've had their share of stupid things happen to them. Charlie Brown ended up with a bag of rocks, and Linus ended up with no Great Pumpkin to give HIM any Tricks or Treats. To that, Charlie Brown replies, "Well, don't take it too hard, Linus. I've done a lot of stupid things in my life too." And Linus replies with, "STUPID? What do you mean "stupid"? Just wait 'til next year, Charlie Brown. You'll see! Next year at this same time, I'll find a pumpkin patch that is real sincere! And I'll sit in that pumpkin patch until the Great Pumpkin appears. He'll rise out of that pumpkin patch and he'll fly through the air with his bag of toys. The Great Pumpkin will appear! And I'll be waiting for him! I'll be there! I'll be sitting there in that pumpkin patch..and I'll see the Great Pumpkin. Just wait and see, Charlie Brown. I'll see that Great Pumpkin. I'll SEE the Great Pumpkin! Just you wait, Charlie Brown. The Great Pumpkin will appear and I'll be waiting for him... " And, after more and more ranting from Linus during the closing credits, it fades to black. Now, those of you who are loyal Peanuts fans will see some of these in the strips from your local newspaper or from Peanuts collection books that you can find in your bookstore/library. Of course, it's basically the same thing: He writes a letter, plans his vigil (either alone or by inviting someone else), and the end result is the Great Pumpkin NOT showing up at the patch he chooses. Frustrated, he vows to try it again next year (with the same result, and so on).

Next category is GAME SHOWS. Some have made big changes this year, when it comes to the Daily 5. So, watch carefully, as I describe those changes.

"Family Feud"-First off, the show has a new host in John O'Hurley, who hosted the 2001 version of the classic Goodson-Todman show "To Tell The Truth" (Alex Trebek was one of 3 hosts in the 1990 version, and was the only one to host 3 game shows simultaneously: That, NBC's "Classic Concentration", and of course, "Jeopardy!"). There's a brand new logo, a remixed version of the 1999 Louie Anderson/2002 Richard Karn theme song, and the set was overhauled to look like that of the Classic version. The score displays now use computers (like all other shows except TPIR), though the eggcrate scoreboards are now with the family podiums. All shades of red are gone, and are being replaced with blue. Other than that, no changes.

"Jeopardy!"-Now in Season 23, this and its sister show (which you'll find out more about later) are now broadcasting in HD (High Definition); and the board is now seamless (similar to that of its traveling board for road shows). The set has also been upgraded and there are brand new podiums for everyone (this season also marks the 4th anniversary of the last set, which you can find more about on my Jeopardy! Events Archive page). Other than that, and this being year 6 of the Clue Crew (with 2nd-year members Jon Cannon and Kelly Miyahara and veterans Sarah Whitcomb, Cheryl Farrell, and Jimmy McGuire), no changes. The show's 5000th show and 2 weeks of Celebrity shows will head to NYC's Radio City Music Hall later in the season (which was the same setting for 2002's Million Dollar Masters Tournament and 4000th show). Other than that, no changes.

"The Price Is Right"-The show is now celebrating "35 YEARS ON CBS!". However, this year also marks the 3rd anniversary of Rod Roddy's death, but we all know who his successor is, in Rich Fields. Rich himself was the announcer on CBS's Gameshow Marathon back in June; and one of the shows, believe it or not, was TPIR. Other than that, and some brand new games, no other changes.

"Wheel Of Fortune"-This would be Jeopardy's sister show, broadcasting in HD. The Wheel is jazzed up with some new colors, and there's a new feature in the Jackpot round: If a player is unable to solve the puzzle after hitting the space and calling a correct letter, that player is awarded $500 for each correct letter. Another new feature is the WILD CARD. When you pick it up, hold onto it without hitting a Bankrupt, AND win the game; you get an extra incentive: In the bonus round, after giving the R-S-T-L-N-E package and then calling 3 consonants and 1 vowel over your own choosing, you can use the Wild Card to call an additional consonant/vowel. Confusing it may sound like at first, but as you watch more you'll understand.

"Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?"-Well, I'm sure everyone does, as the show heads into Season 5. The logo and graphics from the past season are used, and we have still have the Switch The Question lifeline when a player gets to the $25,000 level (next 2 questions are $50K and $100K, the rest of the money tree is the same). The only change this year is that the MillionaireIM robot that AOL Instant Messengers used with the Ask The Audience lifeline is no more. Other than that, enjoy!

Well, other than that, I am done with this column. Remember to go vote! Next month I'll talk about that and the holiday season. I'm John Lee, and I approve this message! Now, "Go HOME!"