What On Earth?-Column #54, November 2006

The holidays have arrived, and with it, comes the time of the year when we have to start making gift lists and such.

As usual, we're thankful for the holiday of Thanksgiving. From the food to the football, and everything in between, it's about being grateful this time of the year. And with that, comes the holiday hectic that goes with it from the travel to the shopping. But now, let's get to the categories!

First category is POLITICS. You can pretty much tell that after 3 elections where Republicans increased their majority, and the 12 years since Republicans knocked out Democrats from Congress in 1994 (when the current President Bush knocked out the late Ann Richards, who died last month of cancer at 73). This year could make the difference between right and wrong (not "right and left", as we've been hearing in the media!) I've been a Democrat since 2000, and you pretty much know why. Among the issues this time around are minimum wage increases and the Iraqi war. One of the things I've been debating is the tax cuts for the rich. My dad tells me that everyone deserves a fair tax cut. I say that the rich will still be rich even after their taxes are paid. Let's face it: If I have a lot of money and then pay my taxes on April 15, I'll still have a lot of money leftover. Other issues include the corruption that has taken hold of Congress since the '04 election. Tom DeLay stepped down as Majority Leader, and John Boehner (who will be the Minority Leader in January, IF Democrats get their way), was elected the new Majority Leader. Other than that, GO OUT AND VOTE!

Speaking of money, the next category is FINANCE. There will be a ton of money spent on holiday gifts, and this year's hottest gift is the Tickle-Me-Elmo XTREME, or TMX for short. Basically, it is the 10th anniversary edition of the original Tickle-Me-Elmo doll that debuted in 1996. You all know that he giggles and shakes out of control when you squeeze him, but this new doll gives you a lot more. Not only does he shake, rattle, roll and laugh, he slaps his knee sometimes, and even falls flat on his back or even on his face. It'll have YOU laughing with him. When it comes to video games, the XBox 360 was the best gift of '05. This year, it's a battle between the Nintendo Wii (pronounced "we") and the Sony PS3. But whatever the gifts you buy, remember, store them away in your car. In your trunk maybe a good idea, but experts and law enforcement say it's best to put them in areas where no one can see them (such as the trunk). Expect the sales to go up! Black Friday, the day after Turkey Day, is a hectic time of the year. Crowds will get their hands on just about anything. If you want to avoid them, start your shopping early; say at the start of the month! Once again, carry a credit card or two, and limit the amount of cash in your wallet. And like the 1996 movie Jingle All The Way, which starred Schwarzenegger fighting people for the hottest toy in a robot, be careful! Keep your calm!

Next category is SPORTS. The St. Louis Cardinals take the World Series after beating the Detroit Tigers, 4 games to 1. And Thanksgiving isn't Thanksgiving without Football, and the Dallas Cowboys and Detroit Lions will play that day, while the Salvation Army serves up some food and entertainment. The day after, it'll be about UT and Texas A&M. The NBA has been strict on some new clothing rules, as they dump the casual clothes for business clothes for those players who sit out, in addition to having a new basketball. And the NHL has started a new season, and with the new Shootout from last season, we'll see another Stanley Cup, maybe.

Next category is GAME SHOWS. Last year, Jeopardy! came out with a DVD honoring the 20+ years since the return to TV in 1984 with Alex Trebek as the new host. In addition to the series premiere and the final 3 games of the Ultimate Tournament of Champions, you get to see Ken Jennings' final show (November 30, 2004).

Here's how it all went out: TWO years ago this month, Ken Jennings would face what would become his last appearance on the show. At the end of the month, he had fierce competition in David Hankins (a college student from Minneapolis, MN) and Nancy Zerg (a realtor from Ventura, CA). Jennings had just bumped his total to $2,520,700 at the end of the previous show (His 74th). At the end of Double Jeopardy on this, his 75th show; Jennings led $14,400 to Nancy's $10K. David, unfortunately, ended at $-2800; and thus was eliminated from Final Jeopardy. And speaking of Final Jeopardy, the category was BUSINESS & INDUSTRY. The clue: "Most of this firm's 70,000 seasonal white-collar employees work only 4 months a year." Alex: "30 seconds, good luck." (show's "think" music plays)

When all was said and done in FJ, Alex said, "Nancy, you wrote down your response rather quickly, I thought. I hope it's correct." Nancy just replied, "I hope so, too." Alex then says, "Let's take a look: 'What is H&R Block?' You're right. Your wager: $4,401; taking you up to $14,401; you have a one dollar lead over Ken Jennings right now. And his final Jeopardy response was...'What is FedEx?' (amidst gasps from all over the studio) His wager was...$5,601. He winds up in second place with $8,799; and Nancy Zerg, congratulations! You are indeed A GIANT-KILLER! OUR NEW JEOPARDY! CHAMPION WITH $14,401! Ken, take a look at the audience! The audience is paying tribute to not only Nancy, but to you as well. All good things have to come to an end, don't they? Well, too bad for Ken. But he's going home with a lot of money, $2.5 million. Congratulations, young man. Nancy will be back tomorrow to defend for the first time. We will see her, 2 new players, and you then. So long, everybody!" And thus closeth the book on the newest Jeopardy! legend, the best person to every play the game. I'm proud of him, and you should be, too.

Final category is ENTERTAINMENT. What would Turkey Day be without parades? Not much celebration, that's what. These celebrations are the ones that officially kick off the holiday season! In addition to the football, you've got various parades such as those small ones in Houston and Detroit. The granddaddy of them all, is the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade in New York City, also home to the Radio City Rockettes and their Christmas Spectacular which is currently touring the country, and of course, let's not forget the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree, that, after the switch is flipped, will brighten EVERYONE's holiday!

Other than that, I am out. Next month is all about the Holiday Gift Giving. Until then, this is John Lee wishing you "Happy Thanksgiving", "Merry Christmas, "Season's Greetings, and "Happy Holidays"! Now, go HOME!