Sword of Truth humor

You know you've read too much SoT when...

You say the devotion to Lord Rahl constantly throughout the day in order to keep the Dreamwalker from invading your mind.

You carry a rod coated in red leather attached to your wrist by a golden chain. You think said rod has the power to inflict immense pain upon magickal persons, and when all else fails... you can always bop them on the head with it.

You have a pet female Komodo Dragon(as close to a Red as you can get) named Scarlet.

You call your bratty little sister "Princess Violet" and have a strong urge to kick her in the teeth.

You let your hair grow long, get green contacts, and walk around wearing a long white dress.

You put your hand on people and "release your power" expecting them to become your mindless slaves.

You always "call the target to you" when shooting a bow.

You memorize The Book of Counted Shadows. Who knows when that information may be needed by an evil overlord who has the intentions of taking over the world?

You call your girlfriend "Mistress" because you know she'll kick your ass if you don't follow her every command and think pleasant things about her.

You call your boyfriend derogatory things like "Pet" because you'll kick his ass if he doesn't follow your every command and think pleasant things about you.

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