I think I know who these ppl are . . .

Idiot # 1
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at
the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset
b/c she
caught
her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the
ants
rn't
harmful & there would be no need to bring her daughter into the
hospital.
She calmed down, & at the end of the conversation happened to mention
that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the
ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the Emergency room
right away. Here's ur sign lady. Wear it w/pride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot # 2
Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided
to steal a life raft from 1 of the 747s. They were successful in
getting it
out
of the plane & home. When they took it for a float on the river, a
Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them surprised them. It turned
out that
the
chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon which activated
when the raft was inflated. They r no longer employed at Boeing.
Here's
ur
sign guys. Don't get it wet, the paint might run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot # 3
A true story out of San Francisco:
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
branch & wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag."
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he
began to
worry that
some1 had seen him write the note & might call the police before he
reached
the teller window. So he left the Bank of America & crossed the
street
to
Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note
to
the
Wells Fargo teller. He read it &, surmising from his spelling errors
that he
wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not
accept his stickup note b/c it was written on a Bank of America
deposit
slip &
that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or
go
back
to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK" &
left.

He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back
at
Bank
of America. Don't bother w/this guy's sign. He probably couldn't
read
it
anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot # 4
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
measured his speed using radar & photographed his car. He later
received
in the
mail a ticket for $40 & a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he
sent
the
police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he
received a letter from the police that contained another pic, this
time of handcuffs.
He immediately mailed in his $40. Another sign (though this guy might
be onto something worth thinking about)!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot # 5
Guy walked into a little corner store w/a shotgun & demanded all the
cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the
robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the
shelf.
He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused &
said, "B/c I don't believe u r over 21." The robber said he was, but
the clerk
still
refused to give it to him b/c he didn't believe him. At this point
the
robber took his driver's license out of his wallet & gave it to the
clerk.
The clerk looked it over, & agreed that the man was in fact over 21 & he
put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store w/his
loot.
The cashier promptly called the police & gave the name & address of
the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber 2
hours
later.
(Remind me to have more signs printed up. Give this guy his!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot # 6
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers. The first 1 shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner
moved,
the
startled first bandit shot him. (This guy doesn't need a sign, he
probably
figured it out himself.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot # 7
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window,
grab some booze, & run. So he lifted the cinder block & heaved it
over his head at
the
window.
The cinder block bounced back & hit the would-be thief on the head,
knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of
Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape. (Oh, that smarts.
Give him his
sign!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot # 8
Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked
into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 am flashed a gun &
demanded
cash. The clerk turned him down b/c he said he couldn't open the
cash
register w/out a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the
clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated,
walked
away.