TERRORIST TEAM ATTACKS NJ HOME IN EARLY MORNING HOUR

My Aunt and Uncle just got some new Guatamalian kids, they were all of the age of 3 at the time that this happened.

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Early Tuesday morning, a home in what is known as the NJ sprawl, was infiltrated by two terrorists. Disguised as innocent little children, the team attempted to wipe out the home’s infrastructure (toilets and heating system) as well as introduce unknown amounts of bacteria into the air duct system. The team acted quietly in the early morning, while the homeowner was volunteering at a local school, and the babysitter was not yet awake. The team, disregarding parental orders to go to their sister’s room when they woke up, deployed themselves into the main level bathroom, where they proceeded to introduce unknown items (hopefully only large volumes of toilet paper) into the toilet. Investigators concluded that after blocking the toilet outlet, the team then proceeded to flush said toilet. Emboldened by their success, the team went upstairs to cover their action by notifying their sister that “lots of water come out of big potty”. Water damage was confined to the bathroom tile floor, the basement floor and rugs and the particle board heating system. Investigators concluded that water was diverted from main level wood floors by the heating duct in the floor of bathroom. Heating system specialist called to the scene concluded (after cutting hole in particle board ducts) that while the ducts and insulation were saturated with water, they eventually would dry out and probably be “ok”. The terrorists were required to sit in the basement and watch as their sister used every towel in the house to mop up the water. An additional 6 – 8 inches was collected in a trash bin after having dripped from the duct system. Furniture damage was minimal as the nearby futon was protected by plastic cover. (Homeowner’s comment: “ After this event, and my sister in laws dog peeing on the futon, I will never remove the plastic!”) Earlier in the week, these same terrorists were found in the master bath, up on the counter, investigating their fluoride rinse. Commented the heating system specialist “ You have your hands full… and your ducts
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