Scene 2 C
Arthur and Insanity - mano a mano!!

So you've chosen to go and see whoever resides in 304.
Suit yourself then you prancing pansy!
This is the worst decision you could have made!!
hope you have a certain quality called tolerance in abundance
cause you're going to need plenty of it here and now!

knock ! knock !

Sir samrith the-sine-is-as-good-as-cosine-is-as-good-as-sine
whose picture will be shown once i get my hands on one
opens the door and says

"mmmmhmmmmmhh??"

"hi. I am King Arthur and I'm on a quest for the holy grail."

"mmmmhmmmmmhh. ."

"umm. . so do you think you can help me find the grail then?"

"hmmmmmhmmmmhmhh. .yeah sure. come in."

"thanks. .look am i waking you?you seem kind of drowsy."

"hmmpphmmhmmhhphmhh. .that's okay. so tell me where is this grail of yours?"

"umm. .if i knew that i wouldn't be here would i?
look thank you for trying but i think i'll be on my way now."

"hmmpphmmhmmhhphmhh. .hey wait! wait!I can help you.
do you know the pde whose solution will give the exact location
in time and space of the grail?"

"pde???"

"partial differential equation.how about at least a finite
difference equation that gives an approximate solution then?"

"diff. . diff. .erence. .erential equation???
you do know that newton wasn't born till the sixteenth century don't you?"

"yes of course of course. .do you have any grounding at all in any form of calculus then?"

"what? are you bloody deaf? didn't you hear what i just said!!"

"oh alright. i hate to have to resort to this . .but. .
do you at least have some probability figures then"

"look. .don't you get the point?i don't know mathematics!not a bit!Not a bit!
hold on a minute will you?"
and arthur turns his head skyward in a desperate plea for help
"Look GOD. this isn't working out too well. i mean - this bloke here
doesn't seem to understand what the real problem is. all he seems to
care about is his bloody abstract and abstruse mathematics. i know that
this is sort of cheating, but after all we all do it once in a while. so
i mean - i'm not asking for the exact location of the grail or anything
just - you know - a sort of a clue. pleeease god!!please! send me a sign!"

"why not cosine hmm hmm why not cosine??"

"oh bloody hell !!!!" drawing out excalibur.

thankfully, before
you do anything melodramatic a loud crash is heard behind you. . and turning
around you see a rather cute rotund figure standing in the open doorway.

"Look! it's gandharv the-gargantuan-scoop-of-ice-cream ! hi gandu!!"

hi sam! just thought i'd say hello! didn't know you had company. heh! heh! heh!"

"Right! gandu - meet king arthur. king arthur - meet gandu!
king arthur's on a quest for the holy grail gandu!"

hmmmph! heh! ha! heh! yeah. . . sure. heh! heh!"

"oh so you find me funny then do you?? !!!!" raising excalibur.

hmmmph! heh! no!no! of course not. no.no. no. well. . .yeah. . a bit. . yes!ha! heh!"

"right then!!" and arthur is just about to strike when sam intervenes.

"Hold on! hold on!!! alright alright! fun's over. fine fine!!
i'll help you find this grail. what exactly does this grail of yours look like anyway?"

"oh umm. . i don't know. it's sort of a cup i guess.
yeah. . that's it. it's a cup! a cup of gold!! yeah ! yeah!! that's what it is!!a golden cup!!"

"ohhh! so it's a cup you're looking for then is it?why didn't you just say so before??
i mean if it's a cup you want - and a golden one at that -
then the person you need to see is neville in 309.
jesus! I could have told you that ages ago!!"

"oh umm. . thanks. .i'll go and do that then. . thanks! bye!"
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