Yes, We Have No Bananas

         Alex paused. He looked down. There was a djinni at his feet laying on its side. It had evidently been knocked over by the adept's foot.

         “Hello,” he said civilly. He looked a lot more like lost traveler and a lot less like scary adept out to rule the world and gain ultimate power. “Would you mind getting out of my way? I have business deeper in the cave. Alternatively, if you are too lazy to move, I could just wash you away myself.”

         ...Maybe a little like scary adept out to rule the world and gain ultimate power.

         Hail (for that was the djinni's name, even if Alex didn't know it) rolled to its feet and jumped. With some incredible hangtime in the air, Hail blew a small blast of sleet (though not Sleet, because that would just be entirely too creepy) at the candlestick. The flame went out.

         With his eyes having adjusted to light, Alex was mostly blind. “H-hey, now!” he stammered, a little distracted. “What did you do that for?” Hail merely squealed in reply. “...I know you can talk.”

         “So you're not as stupid as I think you are,” Hail sniffed. “That's just good for you, really.”

         Alex sighed as he wiped off the remaining water from the candlestick, lightning it. “You're not one to be talking about stupid appearances. You have the eyes of a bug and no arms to speak of.”

         Hail tilted its head, then turned away from the human. “Hmph. For a tall creature, you're awfully shallow, aren't you? I'm ashamed to share an element with you.” Evidently, Alex noted, the djinni could sense his alignment.

         “The disappointment is tangible, I assure you,” Alex said, beginning to stride forward.

         As he walked, Hail shot another blast of water psynergy at the candlestick, dousing the flame and plunging the cave into darkness. This happened at the exact same time Alex was taking a rather precarious step onto loose rock, however, and so the sudden lack of sight caused him to slip. He fell unceremoniously onto the ground. Hail giggled.

         Alex sighed. “So,” he said calmly as he pulled himself up to lean against the cave wall. “What brings a djinni like you to a cave like this?”

         “Ooh, that's original,” Hail replied, smiling (if a djinni could). “Do you use that on all the women and manifestations of psynergy that you meet on your travels?”

         Alex, despite himself, grinned. “I wasn't aware sarcasm was one of the elements of the world. What does a Sarcasm djinni do for fun?”

         “Insult things, mostly,” Hail replied flippantly. It hopped onto Alex's knee, looking up at the adept. “What about you? What does a Mercury adept do in a cave?”

         “Spelunk,” he replied with a slightly cryptic tone to his voice.

         Hail hit him on the leg with its tail. “Come on. What are you in here for?”

         He laughed. “Okay, okay,” replied Alex. “I'm looking for... well, it's a rumour, mostly.”

         The djinni hopped impatiently. “What are you looking for?” it asked excitedly.

         “...Bananas.”

         The djinni fell off the leg out of shock. It scrambled back onto the knee and regained its composure. “...Bananas?”

        “Rumour has it that this cave possesses legendary cave bananas. If I can get my hands on them, I can make the tastiest banana cookies the world has ever seen.”

         Hail almost looked sad. At least, it would have if Alex could have seen it. “I'm sorry, Alex. You see, this is my cave,” the djinni explained. “I know everything that's in here down to the smallest segment of it. There aren't any cave bananas in here.”

         Alex looked uncertain. “No offense, little guy, but you were contained within Sol Sanctum for untold years. Do you ... know what a banana is?”

         “Of course I know!” Hail shouted. “How dumb to you think I am?”

         “I'm sorry,” Alex said quickly. “I wasn't certain if you were completely up to speed on human language.”

         “I'm talking to you, aren't I?” the djinni countered.

         Alex lowered his head. “A simple oversight. I apologize.”

         “You'd better,” Hail grumbled. “Now get out of my cave, please. I need a nap from all this excitement.”

         Alex blinked. “Weren't you napping when I found you? How else could I have hit you by walking?”

         “I've earned a nap!” shouted the djinni. “When you're as old as I am – as old as time immemorial, for the record – you've earned the right to nap whenever you want!”

         “Okay, okay,” Alex said, rising and bowing. “I apologize for bothering you. I'll look elsewhere.” Hail hopped off into the cave, ready to nap. Once the djinni was gone, Alex muttered to himself, “I wonder if they're all as crazy as that one...” before relighting the candlestick, turning and leaving the cave, himself.

         As Alex exited, Hail returned to the deepest part of the cave, wherein it jumped onto its normal bed. Hail loved this bed because it was small enough to support the djinni comfortably and was even curved for comfort. The humans had some kind of name for it, but Hail just couldn't remember what the word was... although it was probably insignificant, anyway.

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