The messenger burst into the general’s chambers and hurriedly saluted.
“Sir, we must hurry.” he panted. “The Black Ark ‘Unspeakable Pleasures’
has landed and Karlstein is under attack.”
        “Son, summon the troops then find a bed and rest. We’ll show those
dainty willow-waisted natterlings a thing or two about waging war.
Attacking a town, and after lunch! I guess my bear wrestling will have
to wait.”
        The messenger sighed, worried again that the general spent so much time
honing his body that he forgot there was anything above the neck. Still,
needs must. With a another quick salute he left and sounded the call to
arms.

1 (Thorir Skull-splitter- of Norscian descent, given his commission for
political reasons rather than tactical ability) General @ 118.0 pts
     Flail; Pistol;
     Armor of Fortune [15]
23 Halbrediers @ 399.0 pts
     Standard Bearer; Musician;
     1 Champion @ [32] pts
     12 Crossbowmen Detach. @ [96] pts
     12 Hand Gunners Detach. @ [96] pts
1 Hero @ 71.0 pts
     Flail, Normal Bow, Heavy Armor

10 Flagellants @ 100.0 pts (Formerly knights, all have failed in their
own eyes and now preach of their and other knights failures, all the
while seeking to redeem themselves in battle)

7 Halflings @ 31.5 pts

6 Halflings @ 27.0 pts

5 * Kislev Horse Archers @ 80.0 pts

5 * Kislev Horse Archers @ 80.0 pts

1 Hero @ 78.0 pts
     Flail;Pistol; Heavy Armor
     1 Barded Warhorse @ [4] pts
5 Ogres @ 210.0 pts
     2-Handed Weapon

1 Halfling Hot Pot @ 50.0 pts

1 Hero @ 71.0 pts
22 Spearmen @ 315.0 pts (with stand and musician)
     1 Champion @ [32] pts
     10 Archers Detach. @ [80] pts
     5 Greatswords Detach. @ [35] pts
1 Hero @ 71.0 pts

1 Hellblaster Volley Gun @ 100.0 pts

1 Wizard Champion @ 118.0 pts (got Destruction and Bless-never got a
spell off the entire game)

5 Archers @ 40.0 pts

5 Archers @ 40.0 pts
 

Total Army Cost: 1999.5

        The sun was already dipping low in the sky when with the blaring of
trumpets and beating of drums, the army approached Karlstein. They made
more noise than a drunken dwarf  chorus and it is not at all surprising that
the Dark Elves were ready for their approach. As the army began to deploy
Rutgar lead his fallen knights out of the woods to join them.
(warning Ascii art ahead)

RepeaterRXCs House City Guard              Wizard
Bolt         houseHedge--------Bolt throwerCorsairs House   Cold Ones
                              Harpies   Crossbows-- House  Dark Riders
                                        wall-------------

      hhhhhhhh
     ffffffffffff
     hhhhhhhhh   (Forested hill)
  fffffffffffffffff
    hhhhhhhhhhh
    ffffffffffff        he-                hedge
       hhhhhh           dge
House                                           House
House
Horse Archers Archers  HouseFlagellants Halflings Halflings  Horsearcher
archers    hot pot     House  Greatswords    Helblaster        Ogres
                       House Spears Archers          Handgunners
                               crossbows              Halbrediers
 

        (I set up a bit deep, and we rolled 4 turns. Bad. Plus I rolled the
surprise attack scenario and he ended up getting about 7 extra 4 inch
moves while I deployed.  Question- do detachments deploy with their
parent unit or do they count as separate deployments. We counted them
separately. Magic will not really be mentioned as the WoM never provided
more than 7 cards and only one spell was cast, but it was important,
more on that later.)
        Thorir surveyed the field. What was this. The elves were ready for
them. Wait, elves behind defended obstacles. Thorir was almost crushed
by the wave of deja vu (see Empire vs WEs battle report) which swept over
him. No, it couldn’t be. He banged his fist against he helmet a couple of
times to shake everything back into place. There that was better- When these
stars clear away we can begin. Wait, the Dark Elves are already advancing.
        The Harpies tried to charge the Hot Pot, but fell an inch short. The
City Guard, and both bolt throwers fire at Rutgar and his flagellants
killing four. The Crossbows behind the hill are out of range. The other
crossbows and the Dark riders kill 2 horse archers who look to their
‘inspiring’ leader, but pass their panic test anyway. Corsairs move a
bit to charge anyone coming after the bolt thrower.
        Thorir bellows the order to advance. The horse archers and archers
break into skirmish formation and move into the forest. The centre
marches forward. The Halflings set out from behind the house and don’t
have enough movement to reach the hedge. The right flank all marches,
except for the horse archers who charge the Dark Riders. The rider fire
and flee, killing two more horse archers. The last one passes his panic
test.
 “Ha Ha, you had better run. Any one tribesman is worth six of you
cowards.” he shouts at the fleeing dark riders. Taking this threat
seriously, the Dark Riders fail to rally and quit the field.
 The Hot Pot fires at the harpies (sort of- guessed 26 inches hoping to
hit the city guard or the bolt thrower, cheesy?, even though in the chronicles
of war it specifically says this is allowed), but the specially spiced (by more
than 10 but less than 12 herbs and spices) chicken skins fly long and
splatter on the ground in front of the city guard. The eastern most
halflings miss the crossbows behind the wall.
        This time, the Harpies screech and descend on the hot pot crew. One
halfling dies, but Master Chef Saunders waves his cleaver at the
remaining waiter and they stand their ground. Shooting kills 5
flagellants and 4 of the easterly halflings, who pass their panic test
as they don’t want Thorir to yell at them.
        The horse archers move up to edge of the forest and fire at the bolt
thrower to no effect. The other twenty archers and the halflings on the
west all fire at the bolt thrower in the centre and kill both the crew.
Everything else advances. In HtH Saunders, who will be given the
honorary rank of Colonel after the battle manages to wound a harpy.
The winged beasts fail their break test and flee. This earns a bellow of
approval from Thorir.
        Somehow, the Harpies rally. The Cold Ones decline to charge the lone
horse archer. The crossbows in the east charge the horse archers in the
forest. One was shot down but the others reached the natives of the
steppes. The ensuing HtH was inconclusive with neither side causing any
wounds. The city guard and the bolt thrower are not able to kill Rutgar,
the last of the flagellants. The RxB fire at the halflings, killing the
last two.
        The Halbrediers move into to position to charge the crossbows on the
last turn. The ogres move up to within one inch of the horse archer and
three inches of the Cold Ones. The horse archer dances in front of the
ugly lizards, tempting them into death’s grasp. (I thought this was a
very good move. I figured I had the combat won. If he charged my horse
archer, I stand and die, then charge with the ogres. If he charged the
ogres, he would lose his lance bonus for the awkward charge. If he did
neither, I would awkwardly charge with my ogres and all I would lose was
first strike for my hero.) The Helblaster, realizing that the Cold Ones
cannot advance wheels out to take a shot. One unit of archers in the
forest charge the Harpies in the flank. They panic and run again.
Shooting accomplishes nothing. The horse archers lose combat to the
RxBs, break and flee into the forest. The Crossbows pursue and hit the
flank of the archers who panic and also flee, leaving the Elves stranded
in the forest.
        By this time the sun had dipped to horizon. The battle would be over
soon. Sensing this, the crossbows all took careful aim at the Helblaster
and scored 18 hits (out of 20 shots) killing all three crew. The city
guard were finally able to kill Rutgar who was threatening to charge
them. The Bolt Thrower kills two greatswords, who, afraid of Thorir’s
voice, stand firm. Enraged by the horse archers arrogance, the Cold Ones
dart forward and snap up the brave (foolish?) tribesman. The Ogres
grinned in anticipation of the killing to come. The crossbows in
the forest charged, but failed to reach the archers. Then, calling all
the power in the area to him (total power) the dark elf mage uses witch
flight (his other spell was Transformation of Cardan which actually got
off once, but since I had the Drain Magic card in hand nothing came of
it. He got to spend one turn, from his magic phase to mine, sitting on the
ground as a chimera) to charge the ogres.
        The horse archers and fleeing archers rally, but not before panicking
the other archers and the hot pot crew. The spearmen fail to reach the
corsairs in a charge. The Halbreds crash into the wall sheltering the
crossbows and despite the obstacle manage to kill three of the elves.
The elves manage to bring down one halbredier in return. The crossbows
lose by six (2 wounds, 3 ranks, standard) but roll a 4 and pass their
break test. Meanwhile, the ogres scoop up the skinny little
mage, but just as the hero has made a wish and Grog and Grak have
started to play tug of war with the wizard’s legs, he vanished in a
swirl of multi-colored smoke and flashing dancing motes of light.
  “Look, pretty.” grunted Grog. “Wait. Where’s dinner gone?”
        On that note, the Dark Elves slipped away to their ark in the darkness
while the ogres contented themselves with eating the dead crew of the
bolt thrower, as well as the machine.

        Curses! Foiled by Total Power and the Escape card. Final score was
De-397 (Hot Pot, Horse archers, Helblaster, archers, Flagellants,
halfings) Empire- 388 (Dark Riders, Bolt thrower, Harpies), with table
quarters it would be DE-497, Empire- 588. Either way, it was a draw.
Though a very tactical draw with the variety of ‘tricks’ employed on the
eastern flank in the tippy-toeing between the Cold Ones and Ogres.
Of course, given that my first game against Dark Elves I lost by about
1500 points, this is better.