It Ain’t Gonna Work No More
(to be sung to the tune of It Ain’t Gonna Rain No More)
Oh, it ain’t gonna work no more, no more,
It ain’t gonna work no more.
So how the heck you gonna save your neck,
If it ain’t gonna work no more.
Did
you ever think,
When
opening screen goes by,
That
someday it might freeze and die?
CHORUS:
Viruses
crawl in.
Viruses
crawl out,
From
e-mail or disks,
And
then spread out.
Every
week or so
Or
Windows ME does it
Auto
mat i cal ly.
But
even so
You
should know
Not
to open attachments
Or
your system may go.
Buy
virus protection
To
have safe system use
Like
McAfee or Norton
To
avoid computer abuse.
Be
sure to update
Since
ev er y day
New
viruses come
And
don’t go away.
You
need to install
Yourself
a firewall,
Specially
if you’ve cable modem
Or
D S
L.
Viruses
bring their friends,
And
relatives too,
And,
whoa! What a mess they can
Make
of you!
CHORUS
Viruses
crawl in.
Viruses
crawl out,
From
e-mail or disks,
And then spread out.
Viruses
(G
reat Gross Gobs of Them
(to be sung to the tune of "Great Green Gobs of Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts")
1.
Great
gross gobs of boot sector virus
Goes
to the boot sector
In
your hard drive.
Now
you won’t be able to
Turn
it on
Ever,
oh, ever again!
2.
Great
gross gobs of file viruses infecting
Your
applications, then spreading the doom
By
infecting documents and applications
That
will then go BOOM!
3.
Macro
Viruses
infect Microsoft Office applications,
Such
as Word and Excel.
They
modify a command like SAVE
And
then good-bye you can wave.
4.
Great
gross gobs of multipartite virus
Give
you a double whammy
By
infecting files and boot sector.
It’s
much worse than all the spam- my
In
the computer world.
5.
Oh,
and let’s not forget the polymorphic.
It
changes code whenever
It
passes to another machine.
You
might think it would be hard to spot
But
actually it’s usually not.
6.
And
the last one is the one called Stealth.
Naturally
it’s bad for your computer’s health.
It
hides its presence
By
makes sick files not seem sick,
But
antivirus ‘ware won’t let it tick.
Boo viruses!
The
Worm Song – Ev
(to be sung to the tune of
"Everybody Hates Us")
Nobody
likes us,
Everybody
hates us
‘Cause
we’re computer worms.
Big,
fat, juicy ones,
Little
bitty squiggly ones,
Watch
us wiggle and squirm.
We
replicate ourselves
And
slither through networks
Infecting
every machine,
Eating
up storage space,
Slowing
down computers.
Oh, it’s a hacker’s dream!
Found a Trojan Horse
(to be sung to the tune of "Found a Peanut"
First verse:
Found a Trojan horse, found a Trojan horse, Found a Trojan horse last night. Last night I found a Trojan horse, Found a Trojan horse last night.
Second Verse:
It looked like a screensaver. . .
Third Verse:
It captured names and passwords . . .
Fourth Verse:
Now a rotten hacker, a rotten hacker, a rotten hacker, Controls my old P.C., And I'm really ang-ry.