>>> Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a >starving >>> little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who as no arms, no legs, no >parents, >>> and no pecker. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every >>> time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Starving Legless >>> Armless Parentless Peckerless Little Boys from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen >Fund. >>> Remember, we have no way of counting letters sent. So go on, reach out. >>> >>> Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder- if you >>> accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly and a mad >>> goat will rape your dead body. Thanks again!! >>> >>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` >>> Chain Letter Type lI: Make a wish!!! >>> >>> (This is where you have to scroll down) >>> >>> Really, go on and make one wish!!! >>> >>> Oh please, s/he'll never go out with you!!! >>> >>> Wish something else!!! >>> >>> Not *that* either, you pervert!! >>> >>> Is your finger getting tired yet? >>> >>> You Can Stop now moron!!!!!!!! >>> >>> Wasn't that fun? Hope you made a great wish. Now, to make you feel >guilty, >>> here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to a certain >>> number of people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat >and >>> then thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. It's true! >Because >>> , you now, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is >TRUE!! >>> Really!!! Here's how it goes. >>> >>> Send this to 1 person: One person will be upset with you for sending them >a >>> stupid chain letter. >>> >>> Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be upset with you for sending >them >>> a stupid chain letter. >>> >>> 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be upset with at you for sending them a >stupid >>> chain letter. >>> >>> 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be upset with at you for sending them a >>> stupid chain letter. >>> >>> 20 to 674,951 1/2 people: 20 to 674,951 1/2 people will be upset with you >>> for sending them a stupid chain letter. >>> >>> Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!! >>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >>> >>> Chain Letter Type III >>> >>> Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is >>> absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as >>> many little 8 year olds writing chain letters. So this is how it works. >Pass >>> this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will >>> happen to you like: >>> >>> Queer Horror Story #1 >>> Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had >recently >>> received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the >>> side walk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of >>> poop, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell >nasty, >>> she died. This Could Happen To You!!! >>> >>> Queer Horror Story #2 >>> Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored >it >>> . Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, >some >>> people swing that way, especially at Oklahoma City University). They >both >>> died and went to hell. They continued to suffer in hell where they were >both >>> cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity. This Could Happen >To >>> You!!! >>> >>> Remember, you could end up like Pinsley and Bip did. Just send this >letter >>> to all of your loser friends, and everything will be Ok. >>> >>> Of course, there's the guy in Peoria Illinois who DID forward this on and >>> then he married his secret crush, they moved to the suburbs, had 2.3 >>> children and lived happily ever after. >>> >>> Right up until he started working late every night, started an affair >with >>> his secretary and boozing. Then she started sleeping with the golf pro >at >>> the local country club, became addicted to sleeping pills and their 2.3 >>> children got into gangs and drugs. Then everything went to hell, and they >>> got divorced. She got the house and the kids, and he got the car and >child >>> support payment, and got to keep the mortgage payment, lost his job and >his >>> car and now is working the midnight shift at the local McDonald's. >>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >>> >>> Chain Letter Type IV >>> >>> As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of >your >>> friends. >>> >>> Friends >>> - A friend is someone who is always at your side, >>> - A friend is someone who likes you even though you smell like a wet dog, >>> - A friend is someone who likes you even though you're disgustingly ugly, >>> - A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself, >>> - A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about >>> your loser life, >>> - A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think >>> you should be raped by a mad goat and then thrown to vicious dogs, - A >>> friend is someone who scrubs your toilet and vacuums and then gets >>> the check and leaves and doesn't speak much English no, sorry that's >>> the cleaning lady, >>> >>> Now pass this on! If you don't, Satan will send dogs in heat to your room >in >>> your sleep!! >>> >>> There. Now that we've covered and dumped on the four main types of >chain >>> letters, onto the ironic part. In order for this to get any popularity, >>> send it on!!! If you don't think it was funny at all, don't bother, but >>> otherwise forward this sucker to everyone you know!! If you don't, I >don't >>> care. Thanks! >>> >>> Remember, the moral of the story is, if you get a chain letter, ignore >it. >>> >>> TRASH IT!!! If it's a joke or something, send it, sure! Just don't >forget >>> to delete the chain letter part. But if it's gonna make people feel >guilty >>> (i.e. the willieless boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen) or nervous (i.e. >>> Miranda Pinsley who ended up in a waterfall of poop), just DELETE it. >>> >>> Do yourself a favor, and everyone else in the world, and say NO!!! to >>> BLOODY CHAIN LETTERS!!" Thank you.
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