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>> IDIOTS!
>>
>> Sign in a gas station: Coke - - 49 cents. Two for a dollar.
>>
>> I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk
>> noticed
>> that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card.  She
>> informed
>> me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was
>> signed.
>> When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the
>> signature on the back of the credit card with the signature I just
>> signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her.
>>She
>> carefully compared the signature to the one I signed on the receipt.
>>As
>> luck
>> would have it, they matched.
>>
>> IDIOTS & GEOGRAPHY
>> After interviewing a particularly short-spoken job candidate, I
>> described the person to my boss as rather monosyllabic. My boss
>>said,
>> "Really? Where is Monosyllabia?" Thinking that he was just kidding,
>>I
>> played along and said
>> that it was just south of Elbonia. He replied "Oh, you mean over by
>> Croatia?"
>>
>> ADVICE FOR IDIOTS
>> An actual tip from page 16 of the HP Environmental, Health, & Safety
>> Handbook for Employees: "Blink you eyelids periodically to lubricate
>> your
>> eyes."
>>
>> IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
>> I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the
>> local township administrative office to request the removal of the
>>Deer
>> Crossing sign on our road. The reason: Many deer were being hit by
>>cars
>> and he no longer wanted them to cross there.
>>
>> IDIOTS & COMPUTERS
>> My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office
>>of
>> a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have
>>problems
>> with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of
>>the
>> branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming out of
>>the
>> back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
>>
>> IDIOTS ARE EASY TO PLEASE
>> I was sitting in my science class, when the teacher commented that
>>the
>> next day would be the shortest day of the year. My lab partner
>>became
>> visibly excited, cheering and clapping. I explained to her that the
>> amount of daylight changes, not the actual amount of time. Needless
>>to
>> say, she was very disappointed.
>>
>> IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE
>> My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked
>>the
>> individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was
>> sorry, but they only had iceberg.
>>
>> AN IDIOT'S IDIOT
>> Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a
>> metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a
>>photocopy
>> machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and
>>police
>> pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect was
>>telling a
>> lie. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect
>>confessed.