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IDIOTS IN SERVICE: This week, all our office phones
went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair people.
They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m.
When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window,
the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call
you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how he
would be able to do that, since our phones weren't working.
He also requested that we report future outages by e-mail.
(Does YOUR e-mail work without a telephone line?)

IDIOTS AT WORK: I was signing the receipt for my
credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never
signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed
me that she could not complete the transaction unless the
card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was
necessary to compare the signature I had just signed
on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She
carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed
on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD: I live in a semi rural
area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township
administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing
sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by
cars and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local
Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the
counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only
had iceberg.

IDIOT SIGHTING #1: I was at the airport, checking in at the
gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in
your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it
was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled
knowingly and nodded,"That's why we ask."

IDIOT SIGHTING #2: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when
it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually
challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the
buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light
is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people
doing driving?!"

IDIOT SIGHTING #3: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and
dear co-worker who is leaving the company due to "down sizing,
" our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do
this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at
each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

IDIOT SIGHTING #4: I work with an individual who plugged
her powerstrip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't
understand why her system would not turn on.

IDIOT SIGHTING #5: When my husband and I arrived at an
Automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys
had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a
mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I
watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle
and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the
technician, "It's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got
that side."