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>Children's Words
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 A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with
fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned
them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible,
and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was
an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in
between the pages. "Momma, look what I found," the
boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" his
mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy's
voice, he answered: "I think it's Adam's suit!"
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The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike,
and as he preached, he moved briskly about the
platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he
moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and
nearly tripping before jerking it again. After
several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third
pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he
gets loose, will he hurt us?"
*******************************************************
Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel
were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang,
and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had
enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in
church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See
those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."
*******************************************************
The kindergarten teacher was showing her class an
encyclopedia page picturing several national flags.
She pointed to the American flag and asked, "What flag
is this?" A little girl called out, "That's the flag of
our country." "Very good," the teacher said. "And
what is the name of our country?" 'Tis of thee," the
girl said confidently.
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After putting her children to bed, a mother changed
into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to
wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more
and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last
she threw a towel around her head and stormed into
their room, putting them back to bed with stern
warnings. As she left the room, she heard her
three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was
that?"
*******************************************************
Two little boys were visiting their grandfather, and
he took them to a restaurant for lunch. They couldn't
make up their minds about what they wanted to eat.
Finally the grandfather grinned at the server and
said, "Just bring them bread and water." One of the
little boys looked up and quavered, "Can I have
ketchup on it?"
*******************************************************
A new neighbor asked the little girl next door if she
had any brothers and sisters. She replied, "No, I'm
the lonely child."
*******************************************************
A mother was telling her little girl what her own
childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a
pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a
tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked
wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was
wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure
wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
*******************************************************
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked,
"Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I
mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are
we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.
*******************************************************
A little girl was diligently pounding away on her
father's word processor. She told him she was writing
a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know,"
she replied. "I can't read." *******************************************************
I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her
colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point
out something and ask what color it was. She would
tell me, and always she was correct. But it was fun
for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the
door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try
to figure out some of these yourself!"
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A ten-year-old, under the tutelage of her grandmother,
was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible. Then
one day she floored her grandmother by asking, "Which
Virgin was the mother of Jesus: the Virgin Mary or the
King James Virgin?"
*******************************************************
A Sunday school class was studying the Ten
Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one.
The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it
was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted,
"Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's
wife."