This Text file is old! In a 🏛️Museum, an unsorted archive of (user-)pages. (Saved from Geocities in Oct-2009. The archival story: oocities.org)
--------------------------------------- (To 🚫report any bad content: archivehelp @ gmail.com)

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner!  No purchase necessary. 
Details inside.
(The shoplifter's special!)

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be, how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's just a suggestion!)

On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:Fits one head.
(The big one or the little one?)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box): Do not 
turn upside down.
(Too late!  You lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure???  Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?) (Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:Do not drive car or operate 
machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we 
would just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children.
(Or pets!  What's for dinner?)

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:For indoor or outdoor use 
only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.) (Or underground?)

On a Japanese food processor:Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:Warning: contains nuts.(And what else?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:Instructions: open packet, eat 
nuts.
(Duh!)

On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals.
(What is this, a home castration kit?)

On a childs superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable 
you to fly.
(That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)