This is pretty funny dude!
 
---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Sun, 1 Oct 1995 19:53:05 -0400
From: Funny Mail II 
Subject: Actual Laws
 
Yes, these are actual laws on the books...
 
Florida
Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
 
New Orleans, Louisiana
A dog is entitled to his first bite of a person.
 
California
Removing your clothes in a bath house is against the law.
 
Zion, Illinois
It is prohibited to teach pets to smoke cigars.
 
Urbana, Illinois
A monster is not allowed within the city limits.
 
Cicero, Illinois
An ordinance prohibts humming on the streets on Sunday.
 
Clinton, Oklahoma
Molesting an automobile is illegal.
 
Belvedere, California
An ordinance reads that no dog shall be in a public place without its
master on a leash.
 
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
An old ordinance forbids parking for over two hours unless a horse    is
tied to the car.
 
Louisiana
It is illegal to gargle in public places.
 
Topeka, Kansas
The installation of bathtubs is prohibited.
 
Kalamazoo, Michigan
It is against the law to serenade your girl friend.
 
Kansas
The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks.
 
Detroit, Michigan
Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited.
 
Detriot, Michigan
It is illegal for a man to scowl at his wife on Sunday.
 
Augusta, Maine
To stroll down the street playing a violin is against the law.
 
Omaha, Nebraska
Sneezing or burping is illegal during a church service.
 
Spartansburg, South Carolina
Eating watermelons in the Magnolia Street cemetery is forbidden.
 
Nogales, Arizona
An ordinance prohibits the wearing of suspenders.
 
Massachusetts
It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath.
 
Iowa
A kiss lasting more than five minutes is against the law.
 
Oklahoma
It is against the law to read a comic book while operating a motor vehicle.
 
Toledo, Ohio
Throwing a snake at anyone is illegal.
 
Huntington, West Virginia
Firemen may not whistle or flirt at any woman passing a firehouse.
 
Baldwin Park, California
It is unlawful to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.
 
Boston, Massachusets
An old law prohibits the taking of baths on Sunday.
 
North Andover, Massachusetts
An ordinance prohibits the use of space guns.
 
Tylertown, Mississippi
It is unlawful to shave in the center of main street.
 
Milford, Massachusetts
Peeping in the windows of automobiles is forbidden.
 
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
It is against the law to play a flute and drums on the streets to  attract
attention.
 
Arkansas
A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not  get a
raise.
 
Miami, Florida
It is against the law to imitate animals.
 
Texas
Carrying a spear or a sword to a polling place is illegal.
 
Santa Ana, California
Two or more persons may not congregate for the purpose of  discussion
on the
 
sidewalks.
 
Memphis, Tennessee
It is against the law to sell teddy bears or yo-yo's on Sunday.
 
Boston, Massachusetts
Mourners at a wake must not eat more than three sandwiches apiece.
 
South Carolina
State law forbids crawling around in public sewers without a permit.
 
Kentucky
A man may not purchase a hat unless his wife is with him.
 
Massachusetts
It is illegal to duel with water pistols.
 
Louisiana
Catching lizards at night is prohibited.
 
Norfolk, Virginia
It is illegal for hens to lay eggs before 8 A.M. and after 4 P.M..
 
Detroit, Michigan
An ordinance prohibits sitting in the middle of the street to  read a
newspaper.
 
Brooklyn, New York
Donkeys are not allowed to sleep in bathtubs.
 
Los Angeles, California
It is prohibited for a wife to be beaten with a leather strap  wider than
two inches except with her written permission.
 
 
 
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                                                            (o o)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~o00o~(_)~o00o~~
 
 
 
 
>>>
>>>
>>>                           Strange Sex Laws
>>>                           ----------------
>>>
>>>No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic,
>>>onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota.  If his wife
>>>so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.
>>>
>>>Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed
>>>to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you -- or
>>>holding you in his arms.
>>>
>>>Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members
>>>of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown -- if
>>>they're nude.  (Apparently, if you wear socks, you're safe from the law!)
>>>
>>>In hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, every room is required to have
>>>twin beds.  And the beds must always be a minimum of two feet apart when
>>>a couple rents a room for only one night.  And it's illegal to make love
>>>on the floor between the beds!
>>>
>>>The owner of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is required to provide
>>>each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt.  No couple, even if they
>>>are married, may sleep together in the nude.  Nor may they have sex unless
>>>they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton nightshirts.
>>>
>>>An ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans couples from having
>>>sex while standing inside a store's walk-in meat freezer!
>>>
>>>A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called
>>>master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.
>>>
>>>In Norfolk, Virginia, a woman can't go out without wearing a corset.
>>>(There was a civil-service job -- for men only -- called a corset
>>>inspector.)
>>>
>>>However, in Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from wearing
>>>corsets because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered
>>>body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded
>>>American male."
>>>
>>>It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho.  Police
>>>officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window.  Any
>>>suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up from
>>>behind, honk his horn three times and wait approximately two minutes
>>>before getting out of his car to investigate.
>>>
>>>Another law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance on a
>>>table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two
>>>ounces of clothing.
>>>
>>>Lovers in Liberty Corner, New Jersey, should avoid satisfying their
>>>lustful urges in a parked car.  If the horn accidentally sounds while they
>>>are frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can face a jail term.
>>>
>>>In Carlsbad, New Mexico, it's legal for couples to have sex in a parked
>>>vehicle during their lunch break from work, as long as the car or van has
>>>drawn curtains to stop strangers from peeking in.
>>>
>>>A Florida sex law:  If you're a single, divorced, or widowed woman, you
>>>can't parachute on Sunday afternoons.
>>>
>>>Women aren't allowed to wear patent-leather shoes in Cleveland, Ohio --
>>>a man might see the reflection of something "he oughtn't!"
>>>
>>>No woman may have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance within the
>>>boundaries of Tremonton, Utah.  If caught, the woman can be charged with
>>>a sexual misdemeanor and "her name is to be published in the local
>>>newspaper."  The man isn't charged nor is his name revealed.
>>>
>>>
Text file Source (historic): geocities.com/garrison27

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