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>

> You might be a Jedi redneck if...
>
>Rednecks are not limited to Earth. They exist all across the galaxy,  in 
>many different forms. One example is Luke Skywalker, who must have been a 
>redneck because he fell in love with his sister, Leia. But surely he 
>isn't the only Jedi Knight who happens to be a redneck.  So if you 
>suspect the local Jedi of being a redneck, here's a few ways to tell.
>
>You might be a Jedi redneck if...
>
> 1.  Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.
>
> 2.  You have ever used your lightsaber to open a bottle of Jack Daniel's.
>
> 3.  You think the best use of your lightsaber is picking your teeth.
>
> 4.  At least one wing of your X-Wing is Bondo colored.
>
> 5.  There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.
>
> 6.  You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.
>
> 7.  You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok... without using the word 
>        "chicken".
>
> 8.  You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
>
> 9.  You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good
>sheets
>
>10.  A peaceful meditation session is one without gas.
>
>11.  You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE force.
>
>12.  Your master ever said "My finger you will pull..hmmm?"
>
>13.  You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
>
>14.  You ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit.
>
>15.  The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters
>
>16.  Wookies are offended by your B.O.
>
>17.  You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't 
>        have to wait for a commercial.
>
>18.  You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling.
>
>19.  You have ever used a lightsaber to clean fish or open a non-twist-off 
>        bottle of beer.
>
>20.  Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over t' the dark 
>        side...it'll be a hoot."
>
>21.  You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock
>thingy 
>        to get the bar-b-q grill to light.
>
>22.  The moonshine still you built on Endor is hidden so well even the Ewoks 
>        can't find it.
>
>23.  You have a stuffed womp rat anywhere in your home.
>
>24.  You think the symbol for the Rebel Alliance should be the Confederate
>flag.
>
>25.  More than half the droids you own don't function.
>
>26.  The number of blasters you own exceeds your I.Q.
>
>27.  You wonder why Luke and Leia gave up on getting married.
>
>28.  You used a carbon-freezing chamber to mount the Wampa you shot while on 
>        vacation on Hoth.
>
>29.  Your moonshine is made on a real moon.
>
>30.  You don't like wearing a Jedi robe because it prevents access to the dip
>        stored in your back pocket.
>
>31.  Sandpeople back down from your mama.
>
>32.  You've ever used Jedi mind control to talk your way out of a speeding 
>        ticket or DUI.
>
>33.  You've ever strangled someone with the force because they laughed at
>your 
>        accent.
>
>34.  You built an outhouse over the Sarlaac.
>
>35.  You've ever argued with a Jawa over scavenging rights to a broken droid.
>
>36.  A Wookie has ever told you that you need to shave.
>
>37.  You have ever wrecked a landspeeder while trying to light a cigarette
>with 
>        your lightsaber.
>
>38.  You don't think the Ewoks are primitive.
>
>39.  You think an AT-AT looks like a giant cow.
>
>40.  You don't think Jabba's pig guards have a hygiene problem.
>
>41.  The Rancor monster refused to eat you.

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