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In a stunning development this morning, God invoked the "one nation, 
under
God" clause of the Pledge of Allegiance to overrule the recent Supreme 
Court
decision that handed the White House to George Bush.  "I'm not sure 
where
the Supreme Court gets off," God said this morning on a rare Today Show
appearance, "but I'm sure as hell not going to lie back and let Bush 
get
away with all this bullshit."

"I've watched analysts argue for weeks now that the exact vote in 
Florida
'will never be known.'  Well, I'm God and I DO know exactly who voted 
for
whom.  Let's cut to the chase: Gore won Florida by exactly 20,219 
votes."

Shocking political analysts and pundits, God's unexpected verdict 
overrules
the official Electoral College tally and awards Florida to Al Gore, 
giving
him a 289-246 victory.  The Bush campaign is analyzing God's Word for
possible grounds for appeal.

"God's ruling is a classic over-reach," argued Bush campaign strategist 
Jim
Baker.  "Clearly, a divine intervention in a US Presidential Election 
is
unprecedented, unjust, and goes against the constitution of the state 
of
Florida."

"Jim Baker's a jackass," God responded.  "He's got some surprises ahead 
of
him, let Me tell you.  HOT ones, if you know what I mean..."  Our Lord 
then
went on to note that He was displeased with George W Bush's prideful 
ways
and announced that He would officially smite him today.  In an act of 
wrath
unlike any reported since the Book of Job, God has taken all of Bush's 
goats
and livestock, stripped him of his wealth and possessions, sold his 
family
into slavery, forced the former presidential candidate into hard labor 
in a
salt mine, and afflicted him with more deep boils.

Dick Cheney will reportedly receive leprosy.

~ James Troesh