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>

 
     I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at
the 
     poison control center.  Today, this woman called in very upset
because 
     she caught her little daughter eating ants.  I quickly reassured
her 
     that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring
her 
     daughter into the hospital.
     
     She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened to 
     mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order
to 
     kill the
     ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the ER
right 
     away. 
 
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     Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the field decided
to 
     steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in 
     getting it out of the plant and home.  When they took it for a
float 
     on the Stilliguamish River, they were quite surprised by a Coast
Guard 
     helicopter homing in on the emergency locator that is activated
when 
     the raft is inflated.  They are no longer employed there.
 
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     I worked for a while at a Wal-Mart store, selling sporting goods.
As 
     an employee of Wal-Mart you are sometimes required to make
store-wide 
     pages, e.g.,"A customer in hardware needs assistance at the paint 
     counter."  
     
     One night a tentative female voice came over the intercom system
with 
     the (I kid you not) following message:  "I have a customer by the 
     balls in toys who needs assistance."
 
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     A police officer had a perfect hiding place for watching for
speeders, 
     but one day, everyone was under the speed limit, the officer found
the 
     problem: a 10-year-old boy was standing on the side of the road
with a 
     huge hand painted sign which said "RADAR TRAP AHEAD."  
     
     A little more investigative work led the officer to the boy's 
     accomplice, another boy about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with
a 
     sign reading "TIPS" and a bucket at his feet, full of change.
     
    

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