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hey y'all -
 
these are great to actually sing out loud - they are much funnier that way!
 :)
 
enjoy -
Rachel
 
 
***
*************
***
 
Star Wars Song Parodies
 
***
*************
***
 
"Vader"
 
by Lawrence Chu
To the tune of the Presidents of the USA's "Peaches":
 
Going to the Death Star, gonna kill that bad guy Vader.
I'm going to the Death Star, I'm gonna kill me that bad guy Vader.
I'm going to the Death Star, I'm gonna kill that bad guy Vader.
Going to the Death Star, gonna kill that bad guy Vader.
 
Vader cut off my hand
An' he says that he's my dad
An' he tol' me I'm his son...
An' if I had my little way,
I'd kill Vader any day,
It's my destiny...
 
Going to the Death Star, gonna kill that bad guy Vader.
I'm going to the Death Star, I'm gonna kill me that bad guy Vader.
I'm going to the Death Star, I'm gonna kill that bad guy Vader.
Going to the Death Star, gonna kill that bad guy Vader.
 
Took a little nap in Han's Falcon,
Vader said to me, "Join me, son!"
I dreamed about you, Obi-Wan...
Thoughts of my sis went down inside,
Made a little room for that thought to hide,
????????????
 
(whining)
 
Gonna kill Vader, kill Vader for me.
Gonna kill Vader, kill Vader then flee.
Gonna kill Vader, kill Vader for me.
Gonna kill Vader, kill Vader then flee.
 
Look out!
 
(In the music video, at this point, there would be stormtroopers leaping
out of nowhere and trying to
blast Luke away. Luke, on the other hand, performs moves that only someone
with the power of the
Force could do and defeats them.)
 
Gonna kill Vader, kill Vader for me.
Gonna kill Vader, kill Vader then flee.
Gonna kill Vader, kill Vader for me.
Gonna kill Vader, kill Vader then flee.
Gonna kill Vader, kill Vader for me.
Gonna kill Vader, kill Vader then flee.
Gonna kill Vader, kill Vader for me.
Gonna kill Vader, kill Vader then flee.
 
Look out!
 
***
 
Speeches
 
by Dave Phillips to the tune of "Peaches" by the Presidents of the United
States of America:
 
My name's Princess Leia, and I give alot of speeches...
My name's Princess Leia, and I give alot of speeches...
My name's Princess Leia, and I give alot of speeches...
My name's Princess Layyy-ah, and I give a lot of speeeeches...
 
Well, Han Solo, he's my man
Flies a rusty old tin can
The Millenium Fal-connnnnnn
 
Then you have this guy named Luke
He's a Jedi, that's no fluke
Cause, you see he's Vader's sonnnnnnnnn
 
My name's Princess Leia, and I give alot of speeches...
My name's Princess Leia, and I give alot of speeches...
My name's Princess Leia, and I give alot of speeches...
My name's Princess Lay-ahhhh, and I give alot of speeeeches...
 
Got a droid named 3-P-Oh
Talks too much, and he's so slow
Then again, that's his funk-shunnnnnnnnnn
 
Crazy old hermit named Ben
Was a Jedi, way back when
Won't you help me Obi-Wannnnnnnnnnn
 
My name's Princess Leia, and I give alot of speeches...
My name's Princess Leia, and I give alot of speeches...
My name's Princess Leia, and I give alot of speeches...
My name's Princess Lay-ahhhh, and I give a lot of speeeeches...
 
Got a droid, R2D2
He got the death star plans on through
To the Rebels on Yav-unnnnnnnnn
 
Saw my homeworld blown away
Tell the story every day
To my daughter and two sonnnnnnnnns
 
That's my story, sad but true
Now tell me, what would you do
If you kissed your brother with your tonnnnnnnnngue
 
My name's Princess Leia, and I give alot of speeches...
My name's Princess Leia, and I give alot of speeches...
My name's Princess Leia, and I give alot of speeches...
My name's Princess Lay-uhh, and I give a lot of speeeeches...
My name's Princess Lay-uhh, and I give a lot of speeeeches...
 
***
 
Hey, Artoo DeeTwo to (Scooby Dooby, Doo)
by dave Phillips
 
Hey R2D2, where are you?
We've got some work to do now
Hey R2D2, where are you
 
We need some help from you now
 
Hey R2D2, I see you
Stuck in that swamp river
You're not fooling me, cause we have to see
That the Death Star plans are delivered
 
You know we've got an emporer to stop, So hey R2 get ready for your act
(don't hold back)
Because you know if you come through, You're gonna get a fresh new power
pack
 
Hey R2D2, where are you?
We've got some work for you now
Hey R2D2, where are you
We need some help from you now
 
Oh R2D2, I see you
You're ready and you're willin'
If we can count on you, R2D2
I know we'll stop that villain....
I know we'll stop that villain...
I know we'll stop that villain...
 
***
 
To the tune of the Rembrandts' "I'll Be There For You".
by Lawrence Chu
 
So now one told you life was gonna be this way...
You lost your hand, and Darth's your dad, your family's DOA
You think about your life, does no one care?
And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, nor even your year,
but...
I'll be there for you (the rain on Dagobah did pour)
I'll be there for you (and you saved Yavin 4)
I'll be there for you (your faithful droid, R2)
 
***
 
From Chris "Snyper" Lorentzen
Sung to the tune of "Winter Wonderland" :
 
Lasers scream.. are ya listenin'
Check your screens..red dots glistenin'
A beautiful sight....we're happy to fight
Flying in the Star Wars universe....
 
Check CMD's..A TIE fighter!
As we aim..lock and fire
A beautiful sight....we're happy to fight
Flying in the Star Wars universe....
 
Alliance squadrons take on the Empire
So many battles have we quickly won
We can't believe how easily they tire
'Cause they claim that we're out-numbered three to one
 
Later on...in the hanger
We'll recount...all the danger
We'll sleep well tonight...we fought the good fight
Flying in the Star Wars universe
 
Flying in the Star Wars universe
 
Flying....in the Star Wars....universe
 
 
***
 
"The Jedi"
 
(sung to the theme music of "The Nanny")
 
He was working as a farmboy back on Tattooine
'Till his unc 'n' aunt were killed by a trooper team
Where was he to go, what was there to do
When it was past his bedtime?
Alone with two droids and a gray old fool
He could fly
He could fight
He had the Force
That's how he became the Jedi
 
Yes and the Rebels, they were lucky indeed
Bringing in the one thing that they really need
He has really gone far (let the Rebels win)
Blowing up the Death Star (bad luck Tarkin)
He believes in the force, while the others think it was just a fluke
The farmboy from Tattooine, the Jedi named Luke
 
***
 
From Deep 13 Productions
 
_Imperial Rhapsody_ by: Queen
 
(sung to: Bohemian Rhapsody)
 
LANDO: This is the good life
This is a fantasy
Working on Bespin
An escape from Reality.
LEIA: Open your eyes
Stand up to these guys and see.
LUKE: I'm just a farmboy, I need some sympathy
Cuz who's my dad, I dunno
Little whine, little moan.
HAN: Anywhere the Force goes, doesn't really matter, to me
 
PIETT: Vader just killed a man.
Raised an arm up in the air
Now his life is no longer there.
Vader, we had just begun,
And now I've gone and lost the reb-el scum.
Vader, ooooooo.
Didn't mean to make you mad
If I'm not alive again this time tomorrow,
There'll be a new admiral, as if nothing ever happened.
 
YODA: Too late, my time has come,
Sends shivers down my spine
Body's aching all the time.
LUKE: Goodbye everybody, I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and learn the Force.
PIETT: Vader, ooooooooo.
I don't want to die
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all.
 
LUKE: I see a little silhouetto of a man
Palpatine, Palpatine, can it be the Emperor?
Thunderbolts and lightning, very very hurting me!
R2-D2, R2-D2,
R2-D2, R2-D2,
R2-D2, Where'd ya go? C-3PO O O O O O OH!
I'm just a farmboy, nobody loves me.
REBELS: He's just a farmboy, with a dead family.
Spare him this life of such mundacity!
HAN: Spice'll come, spice'll go. Jabba let me go.
JABBA: Bo shuda! (NO, we will not let you go)
HAN: Let me go!
JABBA: Bo shuda! (We will not let you go)
HAN: Let me go!
JABBA: Bo shuda! (We will not let you go)
HAN: LET ME GO!
JABBA: WILL NO LET YOU GO!
HAN: LET ME GO!
JABBA: WILL NOT LET YOU GO!
HAN: LET ME GO!
JABBA: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!
 
C3PO: Oh R2-D2, R2-D2, R2-D2, Come along.
LEIA: C-3PO has a rebel put aside for meeeee, for meeeeee, for
MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
 
(Stormtroopers start headbanging)
 
LUKE: So you say you're the dear old dad of mine?
But you cut my hand off and left me to die!
Oh Vader, can't do this to me, Vader.
I know there's some good, I know there's still some good in you.
 
OBIWAN: May the Force be with you.
Use the Force to see.
May the Force be with you,
May the Force be with you, alwaaaaaaaaaaaaays.
 
HAN: Anywhere the Force goes, doesn't really mat-ter, to meeeeeeee.
 
***
 
Y.O.D.A (To the Village People's "Y.M.C.A")
By
(As sung by master Yoda, on meeting Luke Skywalker).
---
-
YOUNG MAN, I saw your ship come down. I said
YOUNG MAN, now it's muddy and brown. I said
YOUNG MAN, put your weapon away, 'cause I
*MEAN* *YOU* *NO* *HARM* *I* *SAY*
YOUNG MAN, There's no need to feel fear. I am
WONDERIN', tell me why are you here? How you
GROWIN', from this food on the plate, I say
*WARS* *DO* *NOT* *MAKE* *ONE* *GREAT*
-
You must be here to see Y.O.D.A
You must be here to see Y.O.D.A.
He's 900 years old!
He's so strong in the Force!
Do your Jedi Diploma course!
-
You must be here to see Y.O.D.A
You must be here to see Y.O.D.A
Come and get yourself clean!
Come and have a good meal!
Pretty soon now, the Force you'll feel!
-
YOUNG MAN, you fell out of the sky, into
SOMETHIN' brown that smells like a sty, and this
TIN CAN started swimming and then, he got
*SPAT* *OUT* *LIKE* *SOME* *THROAT* *PHLEGM*
YOUNG MAN, Welcome to Dagobah. He is
COMIN', master Yoda not far. I'll be
HAVIN' this bright thing that ain't hot. It is
*MINE* *OR* *I'LL* *HELP* *YOU* *NOT*
-
You must be here to see Y.O.D.A
You must be here to see Y.O.D.A.
He's 900 years old!
He's so strong in the Force!
Do your Jedi Diploma course!
-
You must be here to see Y.O.D.A
You must be here to see Y.O.D.A
Don't just stand in the rain!
You're all covered with mud!
come and sample my homemade crud!
-
OLD BEN, Are you listenin' to me? I can't
TRAIN HIM, he's so reckless you see! Like his
OLD MAN, he's so angry but brave! Betcha
*HE* *SCREWS* *UP* *AT* *THE* *CAVE*
YOUNG MAN, If you start will you end, or be
GOING, off to save all your friends? To be
TRAINING, needs commitment and work, if you
*WIMP* *OUT* *THEN* *YOU'RE* *A* *JERK*
-
You gotta stay here with Y.O.D.A
You gotta stay here with Y.O.D.A
You should stay here and train!
You don't have to save Han!
If you do so, you'll lose your hand!
-
You gotta stay here with Y.O.D.A.
(repeat and fade).
 
***
 
(To the tune of the "Beverly Hillbillies" theme)
By
"You must-not-go!"
"But Han and Leia will die if I don't!"
"You don't know that. Not even Yoda can see their fate"
...
"Artoo? Fire up the converters."
-
HAN: Electrocution, don't it
Make you wanna scream...
(repeat chorus).
 
***
 
MOISTURE FARM DE OWEN
(sung by C-3PO to the tune of "Hotel California")
-
On a hot desert planet
(I was not quite sure where)
Smell of bantha fodder
Rising up through the air.
Up ahead in the distance,
I saw a flickering light.
I threw my arms up and I yelled real loud,
A Sandcrawler was in sight!
-
I woke up inside the transport,
And hit my head with a BONK!
They got a lotta pretty, pretty droids,
(One called "Gonk").
Then they opened the hatchway
("Step down . . . watch your head.")
The two guys standing there were buying me.
That's when the little one said:
-
"Welcome to the Moisture Farm de Owen.
Such a boring place (such a boring place)
Wish I was in space.
Plenty of room at the Moisture Farm de Owen
Any time of year (any time of year)
It's hot as hell in here."
-
Artoo went looking for Obi,
(But boy, that oil bath felt good)
When Luke got pummeled he was rescued
By this old coot in a hood.
Then we found all those Jawas,
dead by their van.
"These marks, too accurate for Sandpeople . . .
Musta been Darth Vader's plan."
-
Welcome to the Moisture Farm de Owen
Such a lengthy trip (such a lengthy trip)
Burned to a crisp.
There's smoke rising out of the Moisture Farm de Owen
"Where's my Aunt and Unc? . . . (where's my aunt and unc)
Oh, they're now defunct."
-
(slows down)
-
When Luke came back from the homestead,
He really looked pretty glum.
"You would've been killed as well, Luke . . .
There's nothing you could have done."
So we went to Mos Eisley,
To try and hitch us a ride.
That's when we met up with Han Solo, and a
Big hairy oaf by his side!
-
(bongo riff, speeds up)
-
Last thing I remember, I was
Hiding behind a door.
I had to find a passage back to
Docking Bay 94.
"Blip blip," said the spy man, and the
Troopers gathered around.
They started shooting at our pilot . . .
We couldn't get off the ground!!!
-
(long guitary ending)
 
***
 
Battle Hymn of the Dark Horde
(Tune - Battle Hymn of the Republic)
-
Mine eyes have seen the coming of the terrible Darth Horde.
They are searching out the cellars where your vintage wines are stored.
They have loosed the fearful lightnings of their lightsabers and swords,
The Darth Horde marches on.
-
Chorus:
Glory, glory to Lord Vader! Glory, glory to the Raiders!
Here we come with our lightsabers! The Darth Horde marches on!
-
I have seen them in the Death Star marching through the corridors!
They have built a reputation as the villians in "Star Wars."
Now they're coming to your planet - it wont help to lock the doors
The Darth Horde marches on.
-
Chorus
-
Now you may fear the Empire but the Horde is ten times worse!
Better call your undertaker and reserve yourself a hears.
Today we'll take your planet - tomorrow the universe!
The Darth Horde marches on.
-
Chorus
-
(Half Tempo)
From the ashes of the Clone Wars there arose one Jedi Knight
Wearing armor black as chaos with a sword a-blazin' light.
As we know the left hand pillar must balance out the right,
The Darth Horde marches on.
-
Chorus
 
***
 
Blast, Loot, Pillage, Burn
(Tune- Mickey Mouse Club Theme)
-
Blast, loot, pillage, burn, blast, loot, pillage, burn.
Who's the leader of the Horde that's made for what we are?
Lord D-A-R-T-H-V-A-D-E-R!
Hey there, hi there, ho there! We'll conquer every star!
Lord D-A-R-T-H-V-A-D-E-R!
-
Darth Vader! (Obi Wan) Darth vader! (Skywalker!)
For ever let us hold our blasters high! High! High! HIGH!
-
Come along and sing our song and march with us to war,
Lord D-A-R-T-H-V-A-D-E-R!
-
(slowly)
Now its time to say goodbye - they're closing up the bar -
Lord D-A- [aaayy]*
R-T-H- ["H" is what he'll give ya!]
V-A-D-E- (pause) R-R-R-R.
-
*a la the Fonze, including thumbs up gesture.
A- [aaayy]*
R-T-H- ["H" is what he'll give ya!]
V-A-D-E- (pause)
 
***
 
"The Death Star" (to the tune of the theme song from "Oklahoma!")
From: dshaffer@andromeda.rutgers.edu
-
When the death star is newly built--
Theeee, death star,
Where the beams come down from space,
Where its great big ray
Will make the alliance pay
As it blows their planets into duuuussst.
-
It the empire's new toy,
It'll make the alliance say, "Oh boy...."
-
So when we saaaaay
You'd better run away,
Were only saying were gonna get the alliance
With a death star, it's dee, eh,eth,s,t,a,r
The Death Star-Yeah!
 
***
 
"I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Diplomatic Droid"
(to the tune of "I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major General", from Gilbert
 and Sullivan's "Pirates of Penzance")
From: redfive@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au
(from _HMS DEATHSTAR_)
THREEPIO:
I am the very model of a modern diplomatic droid
I'm fluent in the languages of Robot, Wookiee, humanoid,
A binary loadlifter does not pose the slightest mystery,
I know the rules of protocol and also human history.
I'm very well acquainted too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news --
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypoteneuse
-
CHORUS
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypoteneuse (X3)
-
THREEPIO
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus,
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous;
In short, my masters find in me a reason to be overjoyed,
I am the very model of a modern diplomatic droid.
-
CHORUS
In short his masters find in he, etc.
-
THREEPIO
I am the very model of a modern diplomatic droid;
Adventure is the sort of thing I'd hoped that I could quite avoid,
For droids who find adventure often find that they get melted down ,
Or shipped out to the Kessel mins and tiresome labour underground.
My counterpart excels at making trouble for the rest of us,
He lured me to the desert where the jawas soon molested us,
They sold us to some farmers, and before the passing of a day,
I had to tell my master that the little twerp had run away
-
CHORUS
He had to tell etc. (X3)
-
THREEPIO
Now that were on the Death Star, and stormtroopers swarm the prem ises,
I'm hiding in the closet with that little Artoo nemesis;
And so I want to make it clear 'ere Artoo gets us both destroyed.
I was the very model of a modern diplomatic droid.
-
CHORUS
And so he wants to make it clear 'ere Artoo gets them both destroy ed,
He was the very model of a modern diplomatic droid.
 
***
 
Introduction (to the tune of "Cabaret")
-
We've got explosions and ray guns galore--
Killing's improved, you see;
Come to the Galaxy my friend,
Come to the Galaxy!
 
***
 
"Darth Vader" (to the tune of "Maria")
-
Darth Vader!
I've just met a man named Darth Vader!
 
***
 
"A Second-Hand Droid" (to the tune of "My Favorite Things")
-
JAWA (to Luke):
Here's a humdinger from southern Polaris.
Wipes off your porch while he cleans off your terrace.
If you're neurotic he'll read up on Freud;
That's what we've got in a second-hand droid!
If your workers join a union--
And they raise their fee--
Just flick on the switch of a second-hand droid,
And you'll get your work done free!
If [? ? ? ? ? ? ?]
And you hate your wife--
Just flick on the switch of a second-hand droid,
And you'll have a friend for life!
 
***
 
"R2-D2's message" (to the tune of Do,Re,Mi)
-
R2 and 3PO:
*BEEP*
That's "hi" in robot talk;
*BOOP*
He's brought an S.O.S.
*BLIP*
The Princess needs your help--
*BLOOP*
She's really in a mess!
?????
??????????????????????????
*ZLACK*
She's on the Star of Death!
*YECCH*
Darth Vader has bad breath!
And that brings us back to
*BEEP*
[dialogue:]
Luke: "Being a backwater farm boy, I really don't know much abou t the
outside world...What's a Death Star?"
Ben: "It is a terrible, fearsome space fortress, where the Empi re is
holding Princess Leia, a very beautiful girl."
Luke: "What's a girl?"
 
***
 
"Bad, Bad Vader Man" to "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown" by Jim Croce
Well, the South Side of the Empire is the baddest part of space,
And if you fly in there you better just beware of the man with the
plastic face.
Darth Vader's more than trouble, you see he's taller than six foot four;
All the rebel folk call him "Big Black Ugly", all the Troopers just
call him Lord.
(chorus) And he's bad, bad, Vader man, Lord of the Sith, got it all
in his hand; Yeah, when you hear him wheeze it can make your whole
soul freeze!
Now Solo was a gambler who with the Empire came to blows, Cause he
liked to shoot his blaster-beams in front of every Trooper's nose.
He got a custom-crafted starship, he got a furry Wookiee too, he got a
black laser-gun at his hip for fun... but there was nothing he could
do.
(chorus)
Cause that bad, bad Vader man Came to Bespin and he grabbed poor
Han; Boba Fett took Solo away, and Vader laughed and wheezed all
day.
And somewhere off on Dagobah, Luke, he had a dream; Heard about his
friends and was off to Bespin, so mad that he could scream.
Well, he found him old Lord Vader, and the trouble soon began, Cause
Skywalker, he learned a lesson 'bout messin with the sword of a Jedi
man!
(chorus)
Oh that bad, bad Vader man Came walkin in all dark and grand; Said
that he was Luke's dad... if it's true, that's oh so sad!
Well the two men took to fighting, and when Luke went sliding down,
A part of him stayed behind with Vader way up in that cloudy town.
(chorus)
He met bad bad Vader man.. Oh he was Luke's Dad, but he took
Luke's hand! You can watch him fly away, but you know he'll be back
 
some day.. Yeah, you can watch Vader fly away, but you know he'll
come back some day!
 
***
 
STAR WARS LAND
(sung to the theme of Gilligan's Island)
By: Daniel Brock
-
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
A tale of a blonde-haired boy
That started on an old sand planet
And ended with a joy
-
The hero, son of the enemy
His friends were dangerous
They set across the galaxy
To fight for the Rebel Alliance
-
 
-
The battle started getting rough
The hero lost his hand
If not for the force and his dad's good side
Our hero would be damned, Our hero would be damned
-
The friends met later in a tall tree house
Somewhere called Endor
-
With
Luke Skywalker
Han Solo, too
Princess Leia
and Chewbacca,
C3PO,
Lando and R2D2
-
Here in Star Wars land.
 
***