Gary's

Dreams Of Strange-itude

Please be warned - what you are about to read may shake the very foundations of your sad little world, mortals

I was in some kind of natural environment. Grass, possibly trees and that sort of thing and talking to someone. I didn't particularly like the person I was talking to (who I think may have been Christian Slater!). This person was threatening me. He had a spear. He handed it to me and suddenly I noticed that there were lots of Vampires and Demons closely surrounding us and coming closer. I quickly handed it back, knowing that whoever held the spear would suffer the consequence of being stalked by all manner of evil. He told me that I had only a few seconds before they would come after me. I ran. I think that suddenly some of my friends were running along side me. We ran through a forrest and I reached a small group of some other friends. As I arrived I shouted "FRIENDLY FIRE! FRIENDLY FIRE!...Oh you know what I mean". My friends Ripper, Fisky and Dan were all now here, amongst others I cannot remember. I had to collect pieces of wood from the forrest floor to be used as Stakes. I found one piece of wood which was relatively pointy and threw it to one of my friends, either Ripper or Dan, who were both busy throwing bits of wood in the direction of the coming attack. Strangely not the same direction as I came from. Old fashioned musketeers(?) charged on horses through to where we were. Some kind of battle broke out and then I knew that if we survived till exactly 8am (the time that my alarm clock was set for in the real world) we would be okay. There was a clock telling the time at the bottom of my vision (a clue of what was to come). The time quickly reached 8am and the army faded away. We rushed to close the door into this part of the forest and using one of those old fashioned wooden lock mechanisms (or a bit piece of wood place horizontally across the door) we locked it shut. Ali G was suddenly there and told us that in the old version of this game there was no barrier and therefore it was more difficult. Then all I remember is typing the word "Dead" possibly in red on small black 2D boxes (like on a computer screen).

As a volunteer at CSV in Ipswich, I have met many a strange being. One in particular, who shall remain nameless, was known for smoking a pipe. He was a volunteer as well but left for some reason or another. This morning I dreamt that he turned up at my house and wanted to use the microwave. My mother said that she wasn't keen on the idea of everyone from CSV coming to our house for help with things. I explained to her that as a volunteer I felt, that even though I was not at work on that day, I should still be helping in whatever way I could. When I asked the pipe smoker what he wanted to use the Microwave for he showed me a blue flower and said he needed it microwaved!

Darren Mann writes:

I have taken the liberty of authoring a small piece concerning your dream

1. Wooden Smoking Devices (aka Pipes) and Dreams

In the works of Gibson, a predominant concept is the concept of posttextual smoking devices. The characteristic theme of von Junz's model of neodeconstructivist dream analysis is not, in fact, theory, but pretheory. In a sense, in Pattern Recognition, Gibson affirms the patriarchial paradigm of consensus; in Virtual Light he denies neodeconstructivist construction.

The primary theme of the works of Gibson is a neocapitalist reality. However, several discourses concerning not theory, as Baudrillard would have it, but pretheory may be found.

Derrida uses the term 'social realism' to denote the difference between class and sexual identity. Thus, if textual Marxism holds, we have to choose between the patriarchial paradigm of consensus and Marxist socialism.

2. Microwave Ovens and the Subsemantic Paradigm of Reality

"The microwave is fundamentally elitist," says Bataille; however, according to McElwaine, it is not so much the microwave that is fundamentally elitist, but rather the defining characteristic, and some would say the economy, of the microwave. Foucault uses the term 'neodeconstructivist construction' to denote the futility, and eventually the absurdity, of cooking apparatus. In a sense, many situationisms concerning microwave ovens exist.

"Microwaving is part of the fatal flaw of the kitchen," says Marx. Baudrillard uses the term 'neostructural narrative' to denote a mythopoetical paradox. It could be said that the subject is contextualised into a neodeconstructivist construction that includes cooking as a totality.

Sartre uses the term 'the subsemantic paradigm of the microwave to denote the collapse, and hence the futility, of capitalist truth. But a number of depatriarchialisms concerning a subsemantic whole may be discovered.

Dahmus states that we have to choose between posttextual cooking and neopatriarchialist food preparation. Therefore, Bataille uses the term 'the subsemantic paradigm of reality' to denote not theory, but subtheory.

An abundance of desublimations concerning cooking paradigm of consensus exist. But the subject is interpolated into a subsemantic paradigm of reality that includes cooking as a paradox.

3. Dreams Of Strange-itude and prematerialist capitalist theory

In the works of Spelling, a predominant concept is the distinction between Dream Of Strange-itude and normal (per se) dreams. The premise of the subsemantic paradigm of reality implies that the goal of the Dreams Of Strange-itude is social comment. It could be said that many narratives concerning the role of the writer as dreamer may be found.

If social ‘Dreams Of Strange-itude’ holds, we have to choose between neocultural theory and Jungian deconstructivism. But Debord promotes the use of the subsemantic paradigm of reality to read and analyse dream identity.

Abian et al holds that we have to choose between neodeconstructivist construction and postpatriarchialist theory. However, the subject is contextualised into a subsemantic paradigm of dreaming that includes truth as a whole. The absurdity, and eventually the stasis, of the dialectic paradigm of context prevalent in Pryke’s dream microwave emerges again in the flowers. It could be said that if dream of realism holds, we have to choose between Baudrillardist simulacra and preconstructive capitalism.

Hope this helps!

DSM

What do you think? Personally I think that the bit about choosing between "posttextual cooking and neopatriarchialist food preparation" is complete and utter foolishness as everyone knows, the whole idea of neopatriarchialist food preparation wouldn't would. Protomonarchial food preparation is the only way to go and don't even get me started on "Baudrillardist simulacra". Maybe you should try reading something above the level of "Spot The Dog"...but nice try anyway.