THE SOUND BARGE

Profile - Zombie Noel Coward

Born in 1899, Noel Coward was a man of many roles - playwright, actor, producer, director and composer. He epitomized the witty and sophisticated man of the theatre. From his first success with The Young Idea (1923), he wrote and appeared in plays and comedies such as Hay Fever (1925); Private Lives (1930), with Gertrude Lawrence; Design for Living (1933); Blithe Spirit (1941). He died in 1973.

In the 1990's at the height of "Girl Power" - a kind of mock feminist movement purpurtraited by scanitly clad females who wanted a "zigazig ah" - Spice Girl Mel B decided to resurrected the infamous Coward. It is said that she did this as she had nothing better to do. The spell didn't quite work properly however and although it did regenerate Noels rather rotten appearance it also turned him into a Zombie with an insatiable hunger for human flesh which he tried to control as best he could. He was soon let into the infamous secret society the Freemasons. It was here that he met Barry Davis. It soon transpired that Barry was to be involved in a new cutting edge radio show called The Sound Barge and so ZNC, as his fans call him, decided to join in. Things took an ugly turn however when late one Saturday night Barry, along with Sound Barge presenters Gary and Dan, turned up at Noel's house and did a "multi-coloured yawn" on his trousers before running away. On the 29th of December 2004 he turned up at the studio and shot Gary and Dan dead live on air. The supposed reason that he did not also kill Barry was that it would have been against the code of the Freemasons, the only code ZNC followed.

ZNC is a fan of Pere Ubu.