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What Experts Say
This is a conversation that might cause parents to feel dread, anxiety, or embarrassment.
It might be difficult for you to think of your daughter, your little girl, engaged
in any kind of sexual activity, but as much as you might try, you can't press
the "pause" button on your daughter's maturation.
It's important that you start talking to her about sex when she's
as young as 8 or 9 years old; tailor the conversation to her maturity level.
These talks will help her get accurate information (before she hears something
incorrect from her peers), understand your values, and know that she can come
to you when she has questions or problems.
You might feel uncomfortable talking about sex, and, let's face
it, we are not all Dr. Ruth. Not only do your own experiences learning about
sex -- and any religious and societal stigmas about sex -- affect your comfort
level, but many parents also fear that they won't be able to answer their children's
questions. If you feel this way, it's okay to communicate this during the conversation
by saying something such as, "This might feel a little awkward or uncomfortable,
but I really want us to find a way to talk with each other about these kinds
of things. And if you have any questions that I can't answer, we'll find the
answers together."
During the conversation, you should talk about the practical aspects
of sex, such as the parts of the body and birth control, but also about what
is involved in sexual relationships, such as trust, love, and responsibility.
Additionally, you might want to explore dating, and talk about
the time it takes to really get to know somebody (this helps counter the message
that the media often sends about jumping from a first or second date into a
sexual relationship).
You should talk about how girls can handle pressure they might
feel to have sex, and perhaps have a few suggestions for what to do if your
daughter feels pressured. Finally, make sure to listen to anything your daughter
might have to say on the topic. Ideally, it is a two-sided conversation! |