Now some of you all may be confused with some of the more reflective scenes in the Star Wars trilogy. Here is an effort to explain the most confusing part. Remember this?

Luke: "You fought in the clone wars?"

Ben: "I was once a Jedi Knight the same as your father."

Luke: "My father didn't fight in the wars. He was a navigator on a space freighter."

Ben: "That's what your Uncle told you. He didn't hold with your father's ideals. He thought he should stay home. Not gotten involved."

Luke: "I wish I had known him."

Ben: "He was a cunning warrior, and the best star pilot in the galaxy. I understand you've become quite a good pilot yourself. And he was a good friend. For over a thousand years the Jedi Knight protected the galaxy. Before the dark times. Before the Empire"

Luke: "How did my father die?"

Ben: "A young Jedi Knight named Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil, helped the Emperor hunt down and destroy the Jedi Knights. He betrayed and murdered your father. Vader was seduced by the Dark Side of the Force."

Luke: "The Force?"

Ben: "Yes, the Force is what gives a Jedi Knight his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us. Penetrates us. Binds the galaxy together. Which reminds me. Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your Uncle wouldn't allow it. He thought you'd follow Obi-Wan on some idealistic crusade."

Luke: "What is it?"

Ben: "It's a lightsaber. The weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as random or clumsy as a blaster. An elegant weapon for a more civilized age."

Now to put that scene into terms that every college student can understand:

Luke: "You were in the Greek System?"

Ben: "I was once a Frat Guy the same as your father."

Luke: "My father didn't belong to a frat. He was a tool, an RA in the dorms for four years."

Ben: "That's what your mother told you. She didn't hold with your father's ideals. She thought he should stay home. She didn't want him drinking until four in the morning and acting like an idiot."

Luke: "I wish I had known him, when he could drink."

Ben: "He was a cunning partier, and the best boat-racer in the house. And he was a good bro. I understand you've become quite a booze hound yourself. For over five years he got so curbed he could hardly function. Before the dark times. Before... his skirt."

Luke: "How did my father become such a lame ass?"

Ben: "A young chick, namely your mother, who was pretty cool herself until she turned into an evil nag, helped other women hunt down and destroy the coolness in men. She civilized and murdered the bro who was once your father. Your mother hated the dark side of Beer and Male Bonding"

Luke: "Beer?"

Ben: [smiles] "Yes, Beer is what gives a frat guy his power. It's a beverage created by hops and barley.. and stuff like that. It screws us up. Gives us beer goggles. And lets us yell stuff like "penis" in bars everywhere. Which reminds me. Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your Mother wouldn't allow it. He thought you'd follow some Frat Brother on some binge drinking crusade."

Luke: "What is it?"

Ben: "Your father's beer-bong. The weapon of a Frat Guy. Not as random or clumsy as a shot glass. An elegant weapon for a more civilized age..."

Submitted by Lesley Hickman, March 1997.