RAMBLINGS

Thursday 1st August 2002

Loads of stuff to post today. Let's kick it off with a joke....

Sir Alex Ferguson is on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" and has reached the million pound question.

Chris Tarrant says "Right Sir Alex, this is for one million pounds, and remember,you still have two lifelines left, so please take your time.

Here's your question: What type of animal lives in a set? Is it

a) a badger

b) a ferret

c) a mole or

d) a cuckoo?

Fergie ponders for a while and says "No, I'm sorry Chris, I'm not too sure. I'll have to go 50-50."

Chris says "Right, Sir Alex, let's take away two wrong answers and see what you're left with."

"Badger" and "cuckoo" are the two remaining answers.

Fergie has a long think, then scratches his head and says "No, Chris, I'm still not sure, I'm going to have to phone a friend."

"So who are you going to call, Sir Alex?" says Chris.

"Hmmm..." ponders Fergie. "I think I'll call David Beckham."

So Tarrant phones David Beckham. "David, this is Chris Tarrant from 'Who Wants To Be A Millionnaire'. I've got Sir Alex Ferguson here, and with your help he could win one million pounds. The next voice you hear will be Sir Alex's".

"Hello David" says Fergie. "It's the boss here. What type of animal lives in a set?

Is it a badger or a cuckoo?"

"It's a badger, boss." says Becks without hesitation.

"You sure, son?" says Fergie.

"Definitely, boss. One hundred percent. It's a badger. Definitely."

"Right, Chris," says Fergie, "I'll go with David. The answer's a badger. Final answer."

"Sir Alex," says Chris, "that's the correct answer. You've won one million pounds!!"

Next morning at training, Fergie calls Beckham across. "Son, that was brilliant last night. I thought I might be taking a gamble giving you a call, but you played a blinder! But how the f**k did you know that a badger lives in a set?" says Fergie.

"Oh I didn't, boss," replies Beckham, "but everybody knows a cuckoo lives in a clock."