Over the massive front doors of a church, these words were inscribed: The Gate of Heaven." Below that was a small cardboard sign which read: "Please use other entrance."
> Rev. Warren J. Keating, Pastor of the First Presbyterian Church of Yuma AZ, says that the best prayer he ever heard was: "Lord, please make me the kind of person my dog thinks I am."
A woman went to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. "What denomination?" asked the clerk. "Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well, give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic ones."
On a very cold, snowy Sunday in February, only the pastor and one farmer arrived at the village church. The pastor said, "Well, I guess we won't have a service today." The farmer replied: "Heck, if even only one cow shows up at feeding time, I feed it." The pastor then agreed, and proceeded to preach his entire sermon, all 60 minutes of it. At the conclusion, the farmer said, "It's true that even if only one cow shows up, I feed it. But I don't give it the entire load of hay!"
During a children's sermon, Rev. Larry Eisenberg asked the children what "Amen" means. A little boy raised his hand and said: "It means tha-tha-tha-that's all 'folks!'"
A student was asked to list the Ten Commandments in any order. His answer? "3, 6, 1, 8, 4, 5, 9, 2, 10, 7."
Bill Keane, creator of the Family Circus cartoon strip, tells of a time when he was penciling one of his cartoons and his son Jeffy said,"Daddy, how do you know what to draw?" I said, "God tells me." Jeffy said, "Then why do you keep erasing parts of it?"
After the church service, a little boy told the pastor: "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money." "Well, thank you," the pastor replied,"but why?" "Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had."
