may i serve?


by beauty{KR}
Sometimes, too, in the abundance of free time enjoyed by most urban slaves, they simply wander about, seeing the city, chatting, exchanging gossip, and such...some of the pettiest of jealousies, the most absurd of resentments, the vilest of acrimonies and the most inveterate of hatreds can be among these beautiful, vain, vital creatures...This is particularly the case within the same house where contests often rage, sometimes subtly and sometimes not, for the favor of the master...and there can be intense competitions ...not only for such treasures as the master's attention and affections but for articles as ordinary as combs and brushes and prizes which, whatever may be their symbolic value, are often as small in themselves as a sweet or pastry. (Magicians of Gor, pg 220)

jealousy

As slaves we are told repeatedly that we are never to be jealous of our sisters; that we should never compare or measure what we are allowed with our Master against what a sister may be getting from that same Master. In this girl's experience, it is very easy to talk the talk, but very difficult to learn to walk the walk. she was surfing recently through Gorean websites and found the following statement on several different sites:

Jealousy and possessiveness have killed more slaves than disobedience.

Jealousy comes in many forms; jealousy of a Master's affections for a sister; jealousy of a Master's love for His FC; jealousy of a sister's skill in serving; jealousy of a sister's popularity among other slaves or the Free. For purposes of this essay, to keep the length manageable, this girl will speak of the jealousy a slave may feel toward her sisters for the Master's time and attention; the competition slaves feel for the love of their Master.

This girl knows we are all human and have a lot to learn and a lot to unlearn when we become Gorean slaves. A slave must work to overcome those natural urges to "stake her claim" to the Man and resist thinking of Master as a "boyfriend." It is a Master's right to have many slaves; to take others at His whim.

I had feared, even from the beginning, that she would become excessively popular. My master was, apparently, much taken with her. I hated her. Eta, too, did not regard her with unusual affection. (Slavegirl of Gor, pg 135)

"I do not know," she smiles. "Perhaps it is because I am not so beautiful and desirable. Perhaps it is because men are so fond of them. Perhaps I am jealous of their beauty and desirability, and am envious because they, and not I, are found so attractive by men." "It is natural for the ugly to find an error in beauty," I said. (Explorers of Gor pg. 196)

The concept of "happy Master equals happy slave" is a difficult one to truly understand and embrace for a slave. Given the things we are taught on urth, learning to share a Master's time and affection is a hard fought lesson. Selflessness does not come easy. This girl used to pout and question during those times her Master gave His attention and time to others. she was consumed with pettiness and insecurity and would send Him PMs or Qs repeatedly asking if she had displeased in some way. Rather than being pleasing, her whining and attempts at manipulation only pushed her Master further away.

This girl struggled for months, earned punishments, shed oceans of tears and had many honest, often painful, talks with an FW she respects and admires greatly. she still does not know exactly what it was that brought the true meaning of selflessness to full awareness for her. But, she has learned to be secure in her Master, to cherish what she has with Him and to simply be happy when He has the time to relax and enjoy one of His girls. It no longer matters to her who that slave might be. she welcomes with open arms and heart any and all that He may choose to add to His chain; and she helps those sisters in whatever way she can to learn His kolar.

"The life of a female slave," he said, "is a life wholly given over to love. It is not a compromised life. It is not one of those lives which is part this, and part that. It is a total way of life, a total life... There are no bargains made with her, no arrangements." (Mercenaries of Gor, pg 435)

Sept. 1, 2001