Days Of Our Lies
Chapter 2
By: Bella
Taking a break from delivering puppies and supplies to the needy, the boys of Good Charlotte decided to take a lunch break.
"Where do you guys want to eat?" Billy asked, as he drove the other 3 band members around in Benji's beat up station wagon. Benji normally would have driven, but he was preoccupied with one of the puppies that was crying in the back.
"We just passed Jack In The Box, there's KFC over there, McDonalds is on Havenside…" Paul rambled, even though no one was really paying attention. Billy was cursing at the people passing him on the right, Joel was pretending to wipe something that had supposedly "spilled" on the crotch of his black dickies, and Benji was comforting the three remaining puppies. "Alright Billy, we've been over this a million times. If you're going to drive below the speed limit like a little pussy, drive in the right hand lane and people won't pass you illegally. Jesus!"
"Everything… goes… so… fucking… FAST!" Billy responded, twitching. He made an abrupt stop at a green light, causing the car behind him to slam on its breaks and honk at the pile of junk which was still stopped at a green light as other cars coming up in the left lane quickly switched lanes and passed him up through the light.
"Ah-ah-oooo-oooo-ooooh," Joel was heard crying out from the backseat that he now had all to himself, since Benji was in the very back part of the car and Billy and Paul were up front. This was followed by giggles coming the perverted singer, which brought looks of disgust from the two band mates up front. Trying to ignore Joel, Paul turned to Billy who was still twitching in the driver's seat.
"Green light, Billy. Gas! Come on now, you can do it," Paul tried to convince Billy while staying as calm as possible. Billy refused to get the car moving again. Instead, he put both hands on the rear view mirror and gripped it as tight as possible. He pulled his skinny little body up with his upper arm strength and stared into the mirror with wide eyes, his face barely more than an inch away from touching it.
"They're coming!" Billy shouted, causing one of the poor, scared little puppies in the back to howl.
"It's okay sexy, I'll protect you," Benji said to the tiny brown puppy as he held it closer and began rubbing his own face against the puppy's.
"Who's coming?" Joel asked, looking around frightened. He quickly zipped up his pants and got out of the car. He opened the driver's door and grabbed Billy by his shirt, dragging him out and into the back seat that he had occupied moments before. He got into the drivers seat and sped away, even though by now the light had turned red.
"Man, we really have to do something about his problem with cra… you just ran a red light, you know," Paul said, rolling his eyes.
"They fucking want this penis. They can't have this penis! They think I can't see them. Ha! I know who they are. I can see through their disguises. 'Lil Joel and his handy little helpers, Gonadia and Gonadius, belong to me, and me only! Fucking tricky penis gnomes," Joel shouted, with rage in his voice as he sped down the street with one hand on the wheel and the other protectively clutched on his crotch.
"… no, I don't want to know," Paul said, shaking his head. Five minutes later they arrived at a 7-Eleven.
"Why 7-Eleven?" Billy wondered out loud.
"It's the only place we can get that cheap ass Benji to pay for," Joel explained, carefully looking around outside before exiting the car. Joel, Paul, and Billy got out of the car and started to make their way toward the entrance when they noticed that Benji wasn't with them. They walked back to the car and found him in the back asleep with the three puppies snuggled against him, napping as well. The sight made Joel smile. He looked so sweet and innocent. Billy, however, was not amused.
"Time to get up, up, up!" Billy said, shaking Benji violently and causing the puppies to tumble off of him.
"Huh?" Benji said, confused and in a daze. "Wanna do sex?"
"It's not Joel, it's me! Billy, silly!" Billy exclaimed, trying to drag Benji out of the car.
"Where are we?" Benji asked sleepily, followed by a yawn.
"7-Eleven," Joel replied.
"Cool, I'll pay," Benji said as he climbed out of the back of his old car. Joel gave Paul an "I told you so" look and smiled a toothy grin. "This they'll be okay all alone in here in this heat?" Benji asked with concern as he watched the puppies try to resume napping in the back of the car through the window.
"Yeah, they'll be fine, come on," Joel said. As they approached the entrance once again, a skinny, bald person with sweat beading on his shinny head who was wearing a homemade "I *heart* Dave Grohl" t-shirt came up to them with paper towels in one hand and windex in the other.
"Looks like your windows need washing," he said, examining the car that the band members had just gotten out of.
"Yeah, sure, whatever," Benji said, waving his hand in dismissal at the poor man. Taking this to mean that he wanted his windows washed, the bald person with the windex quickly went to work cleaning the windows on the old station wagon.
When he was done, he found the four young men sitting on the curb outside of the store, snacking. He went over to them and sat down as well, interested in what they were talking about.
"What about that little Hanson boy?" Benji asked, stuffing a doughnut into his mouth and not bothering to chew with his mouth closed. "He's hot."
"Too young," Paul said. "I still say we go with that dude that did the drums on the last Britney Spears album. Amazing work."
"Oh, hell no!" Joel argued. "Homies won't be takin' none of that shit seriously, yo."
"I'm Chris," the bum interrupted, holding his hand out. When no one would shake it, he took his hand back. "I play drums." He glanced at Billy, who had stolen one of Benji's powdered doughnuts and was rubbing it around his nose and inhaling through his nose, which caused him to sneeze each time.
"What now?" Paul asked, suddenly becoming interested. "Are you any good?"
"Yeah," Chris responded.
They were all now suddenly interested in him. "Do you have a job?" Billy asked in between sneezes.
"No. I used to work here, but… uh… things didn't work out. Yeah," he said, gesturing to the 7-Eleven store behind them. "Now I wash windows for a living."
"Does it pay good?" Benji wondered with interest.
"No," Chris responded flatly.
"Oh," Benji said, sounding disappointed. "Well, then I guess you'd be willing to play drums for an internationally known band at minimum wage, correct?"
"Would I ever!" Chris exclaimed with excitement shooting through his body.
"Hold on there," Joel said. "Don't get too excited now. I think we need to know a little more about you before we go hiring you."
"Tacos or nachos?" Paul asked.
"Tacos," Chris responded.
"Crack… or… crack? Hehehehehee!" Billy burst into a fit of giggles.
Chris couldn't respond to this. He just sat there and stared blankly at the skinny boy who was now rolling around on the dirty sidewalk while laughing at himself.
"Do you think my mole makes me look more sophisticated than Benj?" Joel asked.
"Yes," Chris replied.
"Want to make out with me?" Benji inquired.
"No," Chris replied.
"You're in!" Paul exclaimed, jumping to his feet and rushing over to give Chris one of his famous hugs.
"Yay!" Chris exclaimed. "Oh, and before I forget. The windows will be $2.50, and did you guys know that you have three baked puppies in the back of your car?"