Captivated
Chapter 1
By: Bernadette
Benji Madden sat staring out the hotel window. He wasn't looking at anything in particular. He was remembering a time long ago. A time when he wasn't constantly tired from lack of sleep. A time when his throat and hands didn't ache from playing night after night. A time when he could just be Benji, not 'Good Charlotte.'
He thought about Aidan, wondering how she was doing now, but he never had the courage to call her. He felt bad, but he couldn't do it. He was the one who had stopped returning her calls. Slowly pushing her away, until finally she stopped trying, as he knew she would.
As Good Charlotte became more popular he became more and more busy, having less time to himself. He just stopped calling her back, and now he didn't know why. She was one of his closest friends throughout high school. She was a little on the chunky side back then and didn't like to hang out with his brother Joel or Paul and Billy. Secretly Benji was glad. He wanted someone he had to himself that he didn't have to share. There were things he couldn't even tell his own twin, but he could tell her. He could tell her anything.
She left Waldorf right after high school. She didn't really have a family. It was only her and her father. Benji knew they didn't get along well, so he wasn't surprised when she told him she was leaving. They promised to keep in touch and they did. That is until Benji broke his promise.
Every once in a while on the road he would want to talk to someone and immediately dial her number, but then caught himself. She probably wouldn't even talk to him now. Benji realized he missed her. He missed talking to her.
"...HEY! BENJI!"
Benji snapped out of his thoughts and looked at his brother. "What?" He asked with an attitude. Irritated that he had been interrupted in his thoughts.
Joel rolled his eyes. "All that pink dye is goin to your head, man. I said we're going to Hard Rock. You wanna come?"
Benji thought about it. He was hungry, but would have preferred to stay and eat in the hotel room. He hated to eat alone so Benji agreed to go instead.
At the restaurant the waitress looked at them funny, but said nothing when they asked for a table in the corner. Once seated they all poured over the menus; all talking at once, trying to decide what they wanted.
Benji remained silent. He already knew what he wanted. Having been to Hard Rock cafe’s across the country, he didn’t need to look at the menu. He was staring off into space, deep in thought when he heard a female voice call out his name.
“Benji Madden!”
He snapped his head around, looking for the voice. He knew that voice. No way it was her. It couldn’t be. When he saw the woman who was making her way in his direction, Benji slumped his shoulders in disappointment. The woman didn’t match the voice. It wasn’t Aidan like he thought. She must be some psycho fan who thinks she knows us personally, he thought dejectedly.
She approached the table and the others stared at her openly, waiting for Benji to greet her. It was quiet for what seemed like an eternity.
“I guess now that you’re all famous you don’t remember old friends anymore, huh?” She asked in amusement, smiling at him.
Benji’s eyes widened. Could it be her? But she looks so different.
“Aidan?” He asked, half afraid to know the truth. If it wasn’t her Benji didn’t know how he would feel. He didn’t understand his sudden longing for her to be near.
She grinned and nodded. “You remembered. There’s hope for you after all. How ya doin Benji?” She asked playfully, as she hit his shoulder lightly.
Benji smiled and stood. He engulfed her in a strong hug. “I’m good. What about you?” He asked as he pulled away.
“I’m good,” she said, then eyed the people he was sitting with. She nodded at his twin. “Hey Joel. How’s it goin?”
Joel smiled at her. He may not have been close with her, but his brother was and that was enough for him. “It’s goin good.”
Benji glanced at his other band mates. “You guys remember Aidan from high school, right?”
Paul's jaw dropped. That was Aidan? He remembered seeing her around because she was Benji’s friend, but she never hung out with them. She looked so different. She used to be chunky in high school. She wasn’t anymore. Billy was in shock too.
Benji understood their reaction to her. He felt the same way. She looked so different. It blew him away. She wasn’t ugly back then, just different. She was much slimmer now, but she still had her chubby cheeks, which Benji always associated with her. “Here, sit and eat with us,” he gestured for her to sit in the booth. Aidan nodded and took a seat.
Benji sat back down, every nerve in his body on edge. God how he missed her, even though he tried to pretend he didn’t. He missed having her to talk to.
“What’s with the pink?” She asked eyeing the pink streak he had in his black hair.
Benji just shrugged.
“Please tell me you aren’t dating Kelly Osbourne,” she said in mock horror.
Joel busted up laughing first, followed by Paul and Billy. Benji rolled his eyes. “No, I’m not. One of the roadies dared me to dye it pink and leave it in for a month. I like it so it stays. At least until I like something new,” he said defensively.
Aidan smiled and laid a hand on Benji’s arm that rested on the table. “Relax, Benj. I was kidding,” she replied.
Benji sucked in a breath at her touch. Never before did her touch cause these feelings in him that it did now. It wasn’t just friendly affection he felt anymore. It was different. It was so alien to him that Benji balked at the thought. This was Aidan. He couldn’t, she meant so much to him. So much that you call her all the time? His mind mocked him.
“Damn, there’s my friend. I forgot I was meeting her. I better go. It was nice to see you again Benji,” she said. She looked at him, waiting for him to get up so she could leave the booth.
Benji panicked. He finally had her again and he didn’t want to lose her again. “Don’t go. Eat with us,” he suggested quickly as he stood up slowly.
Aidan looked apprehensive at the thought. She didn’t want to intrude.
“Please, Aid’. I haven’t seen you in forever,” he begged her.
Paul, Billy and Joel raised eyebrows at the sound of Benji begging, but remained quiet. If this girl could get Benji to articulate his emotions, no way were they going to stop it.
Aidan smiled at Benji after she stood up. “All right, but let me go ask her if it’s all right. If she doesn’t want too, then you have to be okay with that.”
Benji nodded, wishing with all his might that her friend wouldn’t mind.
When Aidan was gone Joel looked at his twin pointedly, but Benji pretended not to notice. He knew his brother was concerned about him, but Benji didn’t want to talk about it, not now.
Billy and Paul were too busy talking about Aidan's friend to notice the exchange between the twins. A moment later Aidan walked up to their table with her friend in tow.
"Hey guys. This is my friend, Cathy. Cathy this is Benji, Joel, Paul, and Billy," Aidan introduced her friend to the group.
Joel's eyes widened at Cathy. She was cute. She had to be about four eleven, with shoes on. She had shoulder length dark brown hair with a single red streak. One look at her and Joel was lost.
Aidan looked at her friend and smiled. Cathy seemed just as interested in Joel as he was with her. Aidan sat next to Benji while Joel immediately scooted over to give Cathy room to sit down next to him.
Benji smiled at Aidan, oblivious to the others that surrounded them. "So what are you doing in Cali?" He asked. Benji wanted to know everything about her. What she does, where she lives. I'm never letting her go again, he promised himself.
"I live here. I work as a counselor at a teen help center here in LA. I also bartend at a club a couple of nights a week for fun," she said.
Benji grinned at her, He couldn't picture her as a bartender.
"What about you? Your band seems to be doing really good," she commented. She watched MTV occasionally. She knew Benji was doing all right for himself.
He nodded. "Yeah. One day were nothing. then the next day everyone knew our name and MTV's beggin us to do stuff for them. Sometimes we don't even get time to breathe," he said.
Aidan nodded in sympathy. "I'm glad you guys are doing good thou," she told him.
Benji just nodded his appreciation.
After lunch the group of six headed outside the restaurant. Benji pulled Aidan to the side so he could talk to her alone. "We're gonna be here for the next four days. Can I see you again?" He asked quietly, afraid she would deny him.
Aidan looked at him in surprise, but nodded. "Of course. Call me whenever you want too," she told him.
Benji smiled, gratefully. He dug around in his many pockets until he found a pen, he always carried one.
Aidan laughed when she saw him pull out the pen. She laid a hand on his arm. "Benji, my cell phone number is still the same," she said.
Immediately Benji felt like the biggest jerk on the planet. If he still called her he would have known that. He looked at her with stricken eyes. "Aid, I'm sorry. Things just got so... then I couldn't..."
Aidan smiled at him still. She gave his arm a light squeeze before letting go. "It's okay. I know. It doesn't matter. I kept the number in case you ever needed to call. Call me whenever you want get together. I have all weekend off," she told him gently.
Benji looked at her and didn't know what to say. He didn't deserve her. Not now, not ever.
Aidan wrapped her arms around his middle, squeezing tight. She didn't know if she would ever have the opportunity again. "I missed you, Benj," she said into his chest.
Benji hugged her back. Holding her tight, reluctant to let go. He would never have her so close again, at least he didn't think so. He closed his eyes breathing in the scent of her shampoo. It was fresh, clean and sweet, like her. "I missed you too, Aid," he replied, speaking just as softly. The mood was too fragile to ruin with loud harsh words.
Aidan lifted her head and stood on her tippy toes to reach his cheek. She planted a light kiss and left him, standing alone.
Benji watched her go, while he stood in a cloud of mixed feelings. He didn't understand why he had all these new feelings for her. She hasn't changed all that much. Sure she was a little overweight, but that never mattered to him before. It did make her somewhat of an outcast in high school and being his friend didn't help her. Benji missed the friendship he had with her.
Deep down Benji knew he was lonely. Not for friends. He had his band mates and his twin. No he missed the connection he and Aidan used to have. It was like how real couples have only they were never a couple. They were just really comfortable with each other.
Benji frowned. Did he want more with Aidan? Could it work? He knew with Aidan he wouldn't be alone. She always seemed to fill his being with light when she was near. When she was gone Benji only felt empty inside. He needed her, like he needed air to breathe.
That much he knew. Maybe something more with Aidan was something he should explore...