Captivated
Chapter 2
By: Bernadette
Aidan frowned in her half sleep state. She knew it was the middle of the night and that she should be asleep, but her cell phone seemed to have other plans.
After a long continuous ringing session Aidan managed to wake up enough to grab it from her bedside table. "What's wrong Benji?"
He was the only one who ever called her in the middle of the night.
"How did you know it was me?" He asked, sounding confused.
"What time is it?" She asked instead of answering.
"Almost one in the morning."
"Exactly. What's wrong?" She asked again. She frowned when she heard him sigh, but say nothing.
"Benji?"
"Aid, can I come see you?" he pleaded.
Immediately Aidan knew something was very wrong with him. She wished she had made more of an effort to contact him when he stopped calling her. Maybe if she had persisted instead of giving up he wouldn't sound so lonely now. "Of course. You got a pen so I can give you the address?"
"Yeah."
Aidan quickly gave him the address of her apartment. After she hung up Aidan began to worry about him. A habit she thought she had broken, but wasn't surprised to know that she hadn't.
He was always so quiet when she knew him during high school. Aidan always knew he was struggling with inner demons. She thought his music had helped him cope, but maybe it wasn't enough. Whenever she was around he seemed okay.
Aidan climbed out of bed and headed for her kitchen. She decided to make coffee while she waited for Benji.
The knock came fifteen minutes later. She opened the door and Aidan’s heart cried out for him. He looked so sad and down. He had washed the chemicals from his hair that kept it spiky. His hair now flopped down carelessly. He wore no make-up.
Aidan reached for his hand. “Come on. I made some coffee,” she said. She knew he liked to talk over coffee. She pulled him inside her apartment.
Benji followed wordlessly.
Aidan sat him on her small couch and went into the kitchen. She came back with a cup of coffee and handed it to him. She sat next to him, looking at him worriedly, but remained quiet. If he wanted to talk she would wait until he was ready.
Benji set the mug down on the coffee table in front of him. “Aid, I’m so tired of everything,” he said quietly.
She saw the tears in his eyes. She knew he was upset.
“Can I have a hug?” he asked barely above a whisper.
Without a second thought Aidan climbed into his lap and held him tight. Benji wrapped his arms around her, letting the silent tears fall.
Aidan didn’t know what to say to comfort him, so she said nothing. She remained quiet. Letting him cling to her for as long as he needed. She knew something ran deep that was causing him a lot of pain. She wanted to help him, but he had to want the help. She learned a lot of things from working with teens. You can never help someone who doesn’t want it. The trick is getting them to see they need help.
After he had quieted down and had remained silent for a long time Aidan realized he had closed his eyes and fell asleep. She tried to climb off his lap without disturbing him, but his grip tightened around her when he felt her move.
“Don’t leave me,” he said softly through the haze of sleep.
“I’m not, but we can’t sleep here. Come on,” she told him.
Benji allowed her to climb off his lap, but he refused to let go of her hand as she led him towards her bedroom.
Aidan allowed him the control because he seemed to need it. She pulled him into her bedroom and turned to look at him. She only had a full sized bed. She was going to allow him to sleep on it while she took the couch. “You take the bed. I’ll sleep on the couch. If you need anything just let me know. Bathroom is through there,” she pointed at the door along side the wall, that was slightly ajar.
“No!” He protested as he squeezed her hand tighter. “Please, Aid. Don’t leave me,” Benji begged, not caring how pathetic he sounded. He didn’t care if they had to sleep pressed together on her tiny bed. He didn’t want her to leave him.
Aidan knew that his behavior wasn’t usual for him. He was never this clingy with her before. Something was eating him up inside and he feared being alone. Aidan wanted him to talk about it, but she knew he wasn’t ready just yet, so she left it alone for now. “All right. Well then hurry up and get undressed. I’m tired,” she said and snatched her hand out of his before he could prevent it.
Benji panicked when she pulled away. He automatically reached for her hand to have it back in his grasp, but she was already climbing into her bed. He stood motionless as he watched her. She was so different from before. She was more self assured now than she was before. She was always one to tell him like it is, but hid herself from the world. Now she wasn’t afraid of the world anymore. He was the one afraid.
When the room plunged into darkness after she cut out the light, Benji slipped off his vans and unbuckled his belt. He stripped off his dickies and tossed them on the floor. He pulled the black hooded sweater over his head and threw it on the pile where his pants lay. His black t-shirt followed his sweater. He stood in a white wife-beater and his boxers.
Benji approached her bed hesitantly. He thought that maybe he should just sleep on the couch after all. He changed his mind when Aidan pushed the blankets back and scooted back giving him room to get in. Benji climbed in gratefully. He really didn’t want to sleep alone.
He lay on his back tense and stiff. His breathing caught when Aidan reached for him. She laid half across him, throwing her leg across his lower body, keeping him pinned to her.
“Benji, relax. Go to sleep,” she told him. Her voice already soft as she was close to sleep.
Benji wrapped an arm around her, keeping her just as close. After only a few moments he could tell by her breathing that she was asleep. He stayed awake a little longer. He looked down at her face, tracing the outlines of her face in the darkness with his eyes. He could feel the rise and fall of her chest. She felt so alive and full of life. Benji always wished he could see things the way she did. She knew when people were lying to her. She could tell when someone was being fake towards her. Unlike Benji, who was always gullible and easily got hurt.
Benji closed his eyes, pushing all his intensive emotions away. He just wanted to sleep next Aidan and not stay up all night thinking about things that were dark and cold. He concentrated on the rise and fall of her chest, letting it lull him to sleep. Soon he too joined her in oblivion.
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Aidan struggled to remain asleep, but when she felt an unfamiliar weight underneath her body her senses forced her to open her eyes. At first everything was blurry, but eventually the world around her came into focus. Aidan quickly realized she was cradled against Benji's body. He held her tightly. Even in a deep sleep his subconscious didn't want to be alone.
Aidan wondered how he coped with life on the road if he couldn't sleep alone. Her heart ached at the thought of him bedding nameless girls just so he wouldn't have to spend a night alone. She wondered if that was something he would do and came to the conclusion that it probably was.
Aidan sighed inaudibly. Is that why he pushed me away? She thought. She always wondered why, but she would never ask him. Aidan knew Benji pushed her away because he was trying to hide something. He could never keep anything from her. He couldn’t lie to her, so he did the next best thing. He pushed her away and out of his life so he wouldn’t have to face her and tell her.
Suddenly Aidan was angry. She was angry at Benji and herself. Angry because she didn’t see through his act like a true friend would have and angry because as a true friend he should have confided in her that something was wrong with him. She looked up at his face and was struck by how different he looked. She didn’t mind all the make-up and different hair dyes with the outrageous hairstyles. Nor did she mind the piercings. She knew it was a sort of armor. It helped him face the world. Here he was asleep, hidden from the world. He didn’t need the make-up or crazy hairstyle. Asleep he was safe. For the first time Aidan realized how beautiful he was. Even when he was in battle armor he was still beautiful.
Aidan had a weird feeling in the pit of her stomach and for the first time Benji scared her. The way he made her feel scared her. It was different. Could she feel something other than Friendship? Was it possible? Aidan didn’t know what to think. All she knew for sure was she needed to figure out what was wrong with Benji and try to help him.