Captivated
Chapter 6
By: Bernadette
Aidan rolled over in bed with a groan when she heard her cell phone ring. At first she was angry at who ever called her at three in the morning but then she thought of Benji and rushed to answer it. He had been gone for over three months and kept his promise of calling her once a day, but every once in a while he had a bad day and called her late at night. Aidan saw the caller ID and knew it was indeed him. "Benji, you okay? What's wrong?" She asked quickly.
There was silence on the other end. Like he was afraid to talk. Aidan's brow creased in worry. "Benji talk to me. What's wrong? Can you tell me? Do I need to call Joel?" Aidan was worried. Silence was always a bad sign.
"No," he managed to whisper.
Aidan breathed a sigh of relief at the sound of his voice, but then panicked because she didn't know what he was saying no to. "No what Benji? You have to tell me sweetie. I can't see you. I don't know what's going on. I need you to tell me," she spoke calmly. Despite her fast beating heart. It would do her no good if he knew she was worried.
"Don't call Joel. I don't want him to know. He'll be upset. I don't want him to worry about me. He has enough to deal with. He doesn't need to worry about me."
Aidan's heart plummeted. What did he mean? Oh god please don't let him have done anything. Please let him be okay, Aidan pleaded silently.
"Benji what did you do? Please tell me. I can help you. Whatever you're doing just stop. It will be okay. I'll come. I'll leave right now and I'll come help you. Please just stop whatever you're doing," she pleaded with him near tears. Aidan knew she should have gone with him. She shouldn't have let him leave without her. If anything happened to him then it would be her fault.
"No I didn't do that. I knew you would be upset, but I can't stop Aid. I can't. After you showed me I couldn't help it," he told her softly. Benji lay on the bathroom floor of some random hotel with a razor in his hand and stared at the blood as it slowly seeped through the cut he made on his upper thigh. It wasn't the first. There were several healing ones along side it.
Aidan gasped when she realized what he was talking about. He was cutting himself. She knew what torture he was putting himself through to justify hurting himself. It was almost just as bad as attempting suicide. At least he hadn't done that. Aidan knew there was still hope if he had reverted to cutting. It was a step down from the extreme, which meant he wasn't thinking about suicide anymore, she hoped.
"What do you want Benji?" she asked softly.
"Can you come?" he asked speaking just as quietly.
"Where are you?"
"New Orleans, we're leaving tonight after the show," he told her.
"I'm coming right now. Let me call the airport and get a flight. I'll be there as soon as I can," she told him. Aidan knew she should have found a way to leave with him. He needed someone to talk to and he didn't have anyone he trusted except for her.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled.
"Benji, stop thinking like that. It's okay. I'm coming right now. I'm getting dressed and I'm heading out the door. I'll call you when I'm in New Orleans. I'm gonna hang up now okay. I'll call you right back after I get a flight booked, okay." she told him.
"Okay, bye Aid."
Aidan hung up but wished she didn't have too. She called the airport quickly and was grateful she was able to book an early flight at four thirty. That gave her an hour and a half to get dressed and haul ass to the airport. She grabbed her purse and stuffed an extra battery for her cell phone inside. Aidan gathered her laptop and stuffed it in its carry case.
---
Aidan arrived at the New Orleans International Airport at nine-thirty that same morning New Orleans time, but it was really only seven-thirty for her. She spent the entire flight wide-awake, too nervous to sleep. She called her boss at the youth center and left him a message on his voice mail about not being in to work. Aidan spent the entire flight typing furiously on her laptop. She had a ton of emails to send out, but couldn't while in the air.
The moment she stepped off the plane she called Benji, but received no answer. Aidan sighed. She was tired and all she wanted right was to sleep. She wandered the airport calling Benji's cell phone every five minutes. She knew if she sat down she would end up falling asleep. Oh no what if he doesn't want me here after all? Should I just catch a flight home? Aidan shook the negative thoughts from her mind. No Benji needed her. He wouldn't have asked her to fly all the way here if he didn't need her.
After thirty minutes of calling and still getting no answer Aidan began to worry. She decided to call Joel's cell phone instead. "Joel? It's Aidan. Do you know where Benji is? I've been calling his cell phone for the last half hour and he isn't answering." She asked worriedly.
She heard Joel move around. "Yeah he's here. He's probably got his phone off. Hang on."
Aidan heard Joel shout to Benji that she was on the phone, but Aidan didn't hear a response. "Damn he ain't here Aid. He left a note sayin' he'd be back for sound check, but that's it. He's got his phone though 'cause it ain't here. What's wrong? Are you okay?" Joel asked.
"Oh no I'm fine. He was supposed to meet me and I can't get a hold of him. Sorry. I didn't mean to bother you. I guess I'll just keep trying his cell. Thanks anyway Joel." She started to hang up, but Joel cried out.
"Wait! Aidan we're in New Orleans. There's no way he can go see you and be back for sound check tonight. Are you sure he was coming to see you?"
"No he's not going to LA. I'm here. He called me and asked me to come. Oh there's my other line, that's probably him. I'll see you later Joel," She said as she heard the call waiting beep. She clicked over before Joel could respond.
"Benji?" She asked hopefully.
"Yeah it's me. Sorry Aid, my battery died. I'm using a pay phone at the airport," he apologized.
"It's okay. I just thought you might have changed your mind about wanting me to come. Where are you? I'll come to you."
"I wouldn't do that to you Aidan, you know that. I'm over by the food court area. Can you find it? I'm by this sandwich looking place," he explained.
"Yeah I remember seeing it. Don't move. Give me like five minutes." She said and hung her phone.
Aidan walked until she found the food court. She wandered around until she saw someone running towards her. She smiled when she recognized Benji. He ran until he reached her. Aidan dropped her Laptop case to the floor and let Benji crush her in his embrace, burying his face in the crook of her neck. He squeezed her tight, not realizing that the graze of his lip piercings were causing shivers to shoot down her spine. Aidan missed Benji just as much as he did her, but she kept up a strong front for his sake. She knew she had too; otherwise he wouldn't have been able to leave her behind.
They stood in each other's arms for a long time. "I missed you," he whispered as he felt Aidan rub his back gently. He loved it. He loved the feel of her in his arms. Oh god how could I leave her behind?
It was Aidan who finally broke the trance they were both in. "Benj, as much as I would love to stay like this, we should go. Besides I'm mad tired and right now I need a nap," she said softly, hating to ruin the moment but knowing she had to.
"Damn, sorry Aid. Come on. Let's get back to the hotel. I gotta get my stuff before we leave for the venue. We're leaving tonight after the show." He said He picked up her laptop bag and held her hand as he led her outside to go flag down a taxi to take them away.
In the taxi just as Aidan started to nod off they arrived at the hotel. "Come on Aid, you can sleep inside," he said as he helped her inside.
Aidan managed to stay awake through the elevator ride. They entered the hotel room and Aidan came faced to face with Joel. She knew that look on his face, but she couldn't tell him anything just now. He would have to wait until later when she was able to think straight and Benji wasn't around. "Hey Joel. Night Joel," She said and crashed on the nearest bed.
Joel looked at her worriedly, then glanced at Benji for the explanation.
"She's fine. She left at three in the morning. She's just tired. What time we gotta check out?" Benji asked, avoiding the one question he knew his brother was thinking.
Joel looked at him and seemed about to say something extremely serious, but then changed his mind. "Twelve. You better pack your stuff. We're going down to have breakfast. You comin?" Joel asked, mechanically, though he already knew Benji's answer. Benji would decline. He always did. He never wanted to be around them anymore. At least not if it didn't involve the band in anyway.
"No. I'm gonna pack and stay with Aidan," Benji said.
Well at least he said no. Usually he just shakes his head. "All right then. See you later," Joel said and was gone.
Benji watched her for a while before he started to pack his clothes. It wasn't long before he had to wake Aidan up so they could leave. Just like everything else it made Benji feel guilty. He felt that way because he was always making her do something she shouldn't have to. She shouldn't have to fly out at four in the morning just because of him. Benji looked at her as she sat up and waited for the world to come into focus.
"What?" Aidan asked when she realized Benji was watching her.
Benji shrugged. "Nothin. Come on they're probably waiting for us," he said and led the way to the hotel lobby.
Aidan wanted to stay so they could talk, but she knew it would have to wait. She settled for silence and followed Benji.