Irreversible Mistake
Chapter 2
By: Complicated
I guess I should explain to you the events leading up the horrible mistake that almost ruined my life. Four years ago I graduated from the Institute of Audio Research. I had studied long and hard to be a certified music producer and I had it set in my heart to create good music with a band that I respected. Two months after graduating I received a call that would be the beginning of my great career.
" Hello, Tanya speaking," I said into my cordless as I lowered my radio.
" Hi," said a bashful voice which I later learned to be Paul. " I'm with a band and we would like for you to produce our next single." He said it quickly and nervously and my heart skipped a few beats.
" Ok," I replied and the conversation quickly turned to music. I was excited this was my opportunity to let my talent shine through. We made plans and I was to meet with the boys from Good Charlotte the following day at a little cafe in the village.
I was a nervous wreck as I walked towards the cafe. What if the band ended up hating me? That would be a horrible way to begin my career. I looked through the glass windows and there you were. The four of you looked just as nervous as I did. And you all looked so beautiful. I couldn't help but smile as I inspected each and every one of you. Paul, looking adorable in a black Rancid tee shirt and black dickies. Billy, a white tee shirt and black jeans. Benji, a black Level 27 t-shirt and khaki dickies. Joel, a made tee shirt and black dickies. You looked like friends and not just a band. I took a deep breath and walked into the cafe. I confidently walked to group of boys and smiled.
" Hi, I'm Tanya Sanes," Four set of eyes turned to me. It was as if a secret decision was being made as who would talk to me first.
" Hi," smiled Joel being the first to speak. " I'm Joel and this is Benji, Paul, and Billy." He pointed each one of the members and they all politely acknowledged me with a sincere smile and that began what was supposed to be a business meeting that quickly turned into friendly conversation. The beginning of the rest of my life. These boys were incredible. They were smart, dedicated and so real. They made me laugh and feel so comfortable and that was more than I had expected. Not to mention that every time my eyes met Joel's I wanted to melt.
Six months later.
" No," I laughed as Joel tickled me. " Joel, please, I'm begging you!!" This is how the past few months had been. I became good friends with the members of Good Charlotte and together we produced a great album that would be released the following month. Joel and I liked to go shopping together, Paul trusted me with all his secrets as I did his with mine, Billy and I connected due to the fact that we both enjoyed drawing and me and Benj, well, that was kind of strange. There wasn't one specific thing but it just felt right to be his friend.
" You two should just date," sighed Paul walking into my living room.
" Oh God never!!!!," we chorused. " I like good looking boys, and Joel is not one of those," I teased while watching your face.
" And we know that I only date critters and Tanya isn't one of those," you replied. Because our horse playing had been interrupted I was in your arms and I felt so comfortable there. I glanced at Benji across the room and his dark eyes were watching me and then I didn't know why, but in the years to come I quickly found out.
" Of course not," said Paul. " Look at Tanya. She's gorgeous." I blushed. This was not something I heard often and something I definitely did not believe to be true.
" I couldn't agree with you more," said Benji quietly. And everyone went on about their business. But I had heard it and I felt there was something more to it than just a compliment. But I said nothing, because Benji was my friend and I had a thing for Joel.
A month later their album came out, The Young and The Hopeless. It went on to sell millions and to catapult the little known band from Waldorf into stardom. Then came the problems how did they know who to trust, this was all new to them and they didn't know how to handle it.
" Are all those people here for us?," awed Billy as the boys drove by a line that must've been over a mile long.
" Yep," I replied, after spending so much time with the boys I found that they would drag me everywhere and I didn't mind most of the time. I liked spending time with them and the money and fame I received from their album was keeping me in business. So, I had no complains. I was loving it. " I think you guys fail to realize the extent of your fame," I explained.
" Damn, she's hot," motioned Joel pointing to a blond girl that stood outside the doors of the store where the signing was being held. My face remained emotionless but my feelings were hurt, I wanted to be the girl that he thought was hot. The guys attention was then riveted to the blond and her friends. My eyes settled on the floor and never did I notice the way Benji was looking at me, with compassion. The things I realize now are things I should've realized then.
Four hours later the signing was over with and as we walked back towards the van, I noticed Benji missing.
" Hey where's Benj?," I asked looking at Paul and as if to answer my question he emerged from behind a closet door, a brunette tucked under his arm. I couldn't tell which one looked more of a mess.
" Speak of the devil," muttered Billy shaking his head. And for some reason it bothered me to see Benji with another girl but I quickly got over it. On the way home they chit chatted about their fans and such, and I, I just looked out the window. I was confused.
" You guys come over for dinner, all of you," I said to Paul over the phone. " I mean you guys leave for Warped Tour in two weeks and I am so going to miss you." There was silence on the other end." Paul, you guys coming?"
" Yea," he agreed finally and I got to cooking. About an hour later there was a soft knock on my door, I was kind of surprised. " Who?" I asked, wishing I had a peep hole.
" It's me, Benj," said a slurred voice. Confused I quickly opened the door and there stood Benji, completely smashed.
" Benji?," I ask in shock," Benjamin? Boy, how much......come in." Benji walked into my apartment, actually he kind of staggered in. I could smell the liquor on him. " Babe, how much have you been drinking?"
" I haven't been drinking," he slurred. " I've been hanging out with my friend Johnny, Johnny Walker." He giggled before dropping on to the couch.
" Oh boy," I sighed. I walked to the kitchen and put coffee to make and grabbed a beer. " Benji, you wanna tell me why you've been drinking? And what the hell are you doing in the city by yourself? You never come here alone." I sat down next to him and handed him the beer. He looked up at me and I saw sadness. And in mine he saw concern. He reached out and gently touched my face with his finger tips.
" I'm torn," he whispered. " I want this girl but I see her lost in someone else's' eyes."
" Oh, Benji," I comforted. " You're drinking because of a girl? You have so much going for you. Why would you do this to yourself?"
" Do you notice?"
" Do I notice what, " I asked confused.
" The fact that you are lost in Joel's' eyes," said Benji and before I could reply he closed his eyes and fell into a deep sleep. My heart was racing was I that obvious? Did Joel know this? My thoughts were interrupted by a rapid knocking on my door.
" TANYA!!," yelled Joel's' voice. " Tanya, is Benji there?" He banged some more. " Please, I know Benji's here. Please, don't listen to a word he says. When Benji gets drunk he talks nonsense, Tanya!!!!!" I rose to my feet and hesitantly opened the door. " Where is he? Is he here?" I searched his dark eyes to see if he had any clue as to what Benji had just said.
" He's in the living room," Joel walked in and brushed past me. " Joel," I called. He turned to look at me, such a beautiful face. " A drunk mind tends to speak the truth." He looked at me for a second before turning to go to Benji.