Irreversible Mistake
Chapter 5
By: Complicated
"You left us one little room with a black and white tv," I sang along with Joel. Being that I was with the band I had the benefit of watching them perform from the side of the stage, and I was glad. There were thousands of people jumping and cheering GC on. I would get lost in the crowd. Quite possibly get hurt. I preferred this view instead. Every now and then Benji would look over at me and give me a quick wink. And I found it strange that I liked it.
"You guys were awesome," I grinned as we made our way back to their van.
"Why, thank you," joked Billy. "Gimmie a hug, girl."
"Oh, hell no," I laugh moving away. "You are too sweaty, I didn't say you were that good." This caused Paul and Benji to laugh.
"Hey, Joel," said Paul. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Joel replied quietly. "I'm just tired." And the band believed him, it could be true. But I knew better. I knew that I had to get him alone so that he could explain to me what the hell was going on.
"Tanya," commanded Benji. "Come on."
" Where am I going?," I asked confused.
"Well, when we get passed this fence, there's going to be a million screaming girls, we discovered that our first night out. You need to stand specifically between me and Paul so you don't get caught up in the frenzy."
" Oh my God," I awed. I did as he said. Paul reached back grabbing one of my hands. Now, I was nervous. I know how crazy some fans can be. As we moved past the fence Benj had been talking about I was in shock. I couldn't see past all the girls. We could barely get through the crowd. This was something I could definitely do without. Two minutes later it was done. " Oh my God......."
" Yea, we know," agreed Billy. "Isn't that crazy?"
" That's an understatement."
Later that night.
" Tanya, could you help me, please," pleaded Benji, he was standing in the bathroom. " I can't get this off of my face." He was referring to the makeup.
" Boy, you're still not done? The flight leaves in an less than two hours we're supposed to be heading out soon."
" So, come help me, please!" I walked into the bathroom.
" Ok, ok," I take the wash cloth out of his hand. I wet it a little and sit on the edge of the bathroom counter. " Come here." Benji moves closer to me, sliding between my legs. I reach up and gently begin to wipe at his face. As the make up comes off , I begin to realize something, something I should've noticed a long time before. Joel's face the one that made me nervous, was looking back at me. What did Joel have that Benji didn't? My eyes traveled to Benji's dark ones. My finger tips caressing his face, and he wasn't letting my eyes go. He hesitantly put his hands on my thighs as our faces began to near, I wanted so badly to kiss him, to feel his mouth on mine. Both of our breathing began to speed up. Our lips were so close, his lips had barely met mine when there was a loud knocking on our door. Benji automatically took a step back, I sighed. And he went to open the door.
" Tanya we have to go," called Paul's' voice and I walked out to the room. I was damning time.
The following day we were at Warped early. Benji was acting extremely shy around me, and Joel wasn't talking to me. I didn't want to regret coming out on the tour. As soon as their signing was done, I grabbed Benji and insisted that we had to talk.
" What's wrong," he asked worried as we got lost behind a bunch of trailers.
" What's wrong," I repeat. " Benj, you've been acting like we just met since yesterday."
" I know," he began but I didn't let him finish. I took a step closer to him, grabbed him by his shirt and pressed my lips to his. I had no idea what I was doing, but I felt it had to be done. And as soon as our lips met I knew that it was the right thing. He kissed me passionately and I loved it. He wrapped his arms around my waist as our kiss grew even more heated. If only we would've known that Joel was watching. Ever so slowly, I went to end the kiss but Benji wouldn't let me. " No, no," he whispered, pressing his lips back to mine. And I didn't want him to stop.
" Benji," I whispered. " The guys are probably looking for you." He kissed me again. " Come on, we have all the time in the world to do this."
" Ok," he agreed. " Let me go back to being a rock star." This made me laugh. I reached up and gently kissed him.
" That sounds good." He lightly ran his fingers over my face.
" But don't you dare think that I'm gonna forget this or that this isn't over, ok?"
" You're the boss," I grinned and we headed back to meet the rest of GC.
I left the concert early and went back to the hotel. I hooked up my lap top, I needed to check on my work and such. I knew I had to get back, I had artist asking for me specifically by name, this was what I had always wanted. I made up my mind to leave the following Monday. I had an early dinner and while I was watching tv, I feel asleep.
A couple of hours later I was being awakened by a soft kiss on my forehead. I smiled.
" Hey baby," I smiled.
" Hey, I didn't mean to wake you, go back to sleep," he said. " I'll go to Paul's room, I'll order food from there."
" No," I mumbled in a pleading tone. " Stay, stay with me."
" Alright," he laughed. " Lemme go take a shower and then we'll eat dinner together." And off he went to take a shower. The water had barely turned on when there was a knock on the door. I crawled out of bed and swung the door open. There stood Joel.
" Hey," I said, kind of surprised to see him there. " Benj is in the shower, he should be done soon if you want to wait."
" I'm here to talk to you," he replied. I stepped outside the door.
" What's up," I asked looking at his face, the face that still made me nervous. He said nothing. " You know you and me have something in common, soulful eyes."
" Tanya," he said at last. " Why are you here? I asked you to stay away and you still came? Why?"
" Because Benji asked me to come out. And I chose to make him happy rather than to make him sad. Now, you explain to me why you wanted me to stay away."
" You're gonna break my twins heart, that's why."
" How do you know that?," I asked angrily, " are you sure that what you're worried about is his heart and not yours?" I searched his eyes for an answer. He said nothing in reply. " Oh my God......I'm right. Joel, how the fuck could you?! You waited until I was ready to give in to the way Benji cares for me to let me know this shit?"
" Tanya, how was I supposed to know, huh?," asked Joel angrily. " Why do you think I asked you to stay away. I don't want to like you! I knew from the second that we met that Benji was completely taken aback by you. We have never fought over a girl, and I decided that this was not going to be the time. So, I asked you to stay away, that way I could get over you and Benj could love you more then he could be with you when we got back. You aren't supposed to be here." Now, I didn't know what to say. What the hell was going on? No, no, no. I couldn't deal with this. I, oh my god, what the hell, what the fuck. Talk about damning the moment.
" You know what Joel," I said. " Go away, pretend this conversation never happened. You got it?"
" Tanya, I see the way you look at him. It's not the way you look at me. Tell me you feel for him what your eyes say you feel for me."
" Go away!!!," I insisted. "Just go away."
" No!!," yelled Joel. And at that moment Benji swung open the door.
" What the hell are you two arguing about?," he asked and Joel, nor I knew what to say.