The Sharp Hint of New Tears
Chapter 3
By: Erynn*Alice
Ashton sighed long and hard, but it was quickly lost in the wind rushing through the car. She loved going back to Waldorf, but not this time. This time the trip was horrendous and painful.
Kai had an eating disorder, died of malnutrition and near starvation in her bed two days earlier. Ashton was attending the funeral of her fallen friend this weekend in Waldorf.
She hadn't seen Kai in a couple of months. She didn't like the direction Kai was taking just to lose a few pounds that she really didn't need to lose. Kai had became a model, a profession where skinny is never skinny enough. Ashton hated it.
Now, she would go home just to see her friend get lost in a shiny pine box six feet under. Kai would be miniature in that box, she'd be lost and forgotten within those four walls. Ashton wished she could be forgotten and erased so easily.
She pulled into the sleepy little town, the town she strived to get out of, but the only town she ever really loved more than San Diego, her new home.
She drove all the way from San Diego. She needed the time to think about everything. Every little thing that made her and destroyed her all at the same time.
She drove by the high school where a fresh new batch of students were just leaving for the day. Ashton hoped all of them had a better experience than she had in that prison.
Yes, she was popular back then, but she wanted nothing more than to be just another person who walked the halls and didn't turn heads throughout those four years. She could have head so much more fun, she could have been more care-free, she could have gotten classier guys if and only if people weren't watching her at every moment.
Popularity was never what it was all cracked up to be. She wished she could get out of it, but the only way to do that is to graduate. Transferring to a different school, no, it'd follow. It'd follow everywhere.
She could have had him. Joel. He was the nicest, classiest guy that went to the school in her opinion. He would have respected her decisions. He would have been more thoughtful. He would have never forced her to do things that would tarnish her reputation.
Ashton didn't want to be back there. She didn't want to have to deal with any more whispers behind her back, anymore fake smiles, or wandering eyes. She just wanted to say goodbye to her friend and then say goodbye to the city.
Say goodbye to it all. Nothing good ever happened in Waldorf. The town was broken and cursed. A hellish place to grow up. 'You can never go back home.' She wished there was a law about it. One that forbid her from ever returning.
High school was supposed to be the best four years of her life. Those years hardly ranked for her. She wanted to take those four years back and be something more than just, 'that girl'. Every high school had 'that girl' and she hated more than anything being 'that girl'.
She pulled into the hotel parking lot. The September air filled the car once she opened her door. Her parents moved out of the city to Alaska to spend their retirement. She'd be staying by her lonesome in a hotel.
She grabbed her hat and bag from the back seat. Her hair was a darker brown and her skin was tanner. She dressed differently, too. Were all these aspects enough to keep old classmates from discovering her identity? She only hoped.
Ashton was only in Waldorf to say goodbye to Kai, not to start a social event. She didn't want anyone to see her, figure her out, ask her about Kai. They'd all be there for Kai's funeral. Kai being one of the most popular girls in the school and famous model, everyone would show up just to prove that they 'knew Kai LaTone when...'
No one knew her. No one. No one knew why Kai moved. No one knew how much she loved Benji. No one knew about her eating disorder. Ashton did. Ashton knew about it all. No one else did. No one knew Kai. No one, and the fact that everyone would come back just to see the famous model sink six feet below made her sick. Ashton was the only person who knew Kai. Everyone else just wanted to be close to her, to have that little touch of Kai LaTone's popularity.
She walked into the lobby and up to the desk. "Ashton?" A voice called from behind her. 'No...' she whispered to herself before plastering on a fake smile and turning around. Her hopes broke like a thousand little glasses hitting the ground at once. She felt that same anxiety she had felt in high school. It was happening again. 'Why me? Why me?
Hanging on, here until I'm gone right where I belong, just hanging on
Even though, I watched you come and go how was I to know, you'd still show
One day I'll have enough to get more I'll wait to hear your final call, hanging on
Hanging on, here until I'm gone right where I belong, just hanging on
Even though, passed the time alone soon we're so unknown, it heals the soul
You'll ask if the walls are building higher we'll light the shadows of them all
I'd stand but they're much too useful and I fall
February stars floating in the dark, temporary stars, February stars
("February Stars" by the Foo Fighters)