Falling Apart
Chapter 3
By: Makena
Benji's eyes fluttered open as he heard some one dash quickly past the couch he was asleep on. "Joel?" Benji asked sleepily, sitting up a little so that he could see is brother franticly pick toys and other things of Benji's up off the floor. "Joel? What the fuck are you doing?"
"Uncle Benji!" Callie cried from the kitchen, turning around in her chair to look at Benji.
"Sorry!" Benji apologized, having completely forgotten that Callie was there. "Joel! What are you doing?"
"I'm picking your crap up," Joel said.
"Why?" Benji asked as he squinted up at his brother.
"Some lady or something is coming over from Child Services or something like that."
"Child Services... Callie... shit!"
"Uncle Benji!" Callie cried again.
"Sorry, sorry..." Benji got up and tired to motivate himself to clean up the couch area and then get dressed.
"How long till she's here?" Benji shouted from his bedroom where the struggled to put on the most normal pair of pants he owned.
"Like... shit, she should be here any minute."
"Uncle Benji?" Callie asked from the doorway.
Benji went through his drawers quickly and found a black Rancid shirt.
"Yeah?" he answered, looking at himself in the mirror to see if he looked normal enough.
"Can I have Mr. Bonkers?"
"Er... yeah." Benji went to his bed and lifted up the covers to find a ragged old stuffed cat named Mr. Bonkers.
"Here you go," Benji said, handing the stuffed cat to the little girl. "Do I look normal enough?"
"You mean like uncle Joel?" Callie questioned, hugging her kitten.
"Sure," Benji replied.
Callie scrunched up her nose and shook her head.
"Thanks... Joel!"
"What?!" Joel asked, stumbling into the hall as he struggled to pull up a pair of green dickies.
"Can I borrow some jeans or something?"
Joel frowned. "Wear that," he said, nodding at the bondage pants and Rancid t-shirt Benji was already wearing.
"This? Really?"
Joel groaned and went to get Benji a pair of his own jeans.
"Can I go watch TV?" Callie asked.
"Yeah," Benji said, changing out of his pants and throwing them onto his bed.
Callie walked off to the living room to turn the TV on as Joel reappeared and tossed Benji a pair of his jeans.
"They're kinda big, but I doubt you'll mind."
"Thanks," Benji said, struggling to pull them up as the door bell rang.
"Fuck, that's her," Joel said. "I'll get it and..." he paused to look over Benji's messy room. "Close the door when you come out."
Benji rolled his eyes and shut his door before he walked to the bathroom. He didn't have time to take a shower, so he wet his hands and ran cold water through his pink and black hair before looking at himself again. He looked normal - more so than he did with the bondage pants. But he didn't exactly look like parental material either, and that bothered him. He contemplated taking his lip rings out but decided not to when he heard the door open and Joel's voice above the TV.
"Hi. You must be Mrs. Elheart. Thank you for coming on such short of a notice."
"It's no problem, Mr. Madden," a woman's voice said upon entering the house. "Abandonment usually happens on short notice."
"Yeah, it does..." Joel said. "Um, come in. Did you want something to drink?"
"A cup of coffee will do," the woman said politely.
Benji sighed and looked at himself one more time. He smiled - something he hardly did - and decided to join Mrs. Elheart and his brother in the living room. He walked out and noticed a woman standing near the door, wearing a maroon business suit with a long skirt and black shoes. Her hair was up in a bun and a black bag was hanging from her shoulder.
"Hi," Benji said, handing out his hand for her to shake. "I'm Benji - Benjamin. Joel's brother."
"The one who wanted to adopt Callie?" the woman questioned, taking Benji's hand. "I'm Patricia Elheart."
"Did you want anything to drink or eat...?"
"Your brother's getting me something, but thank you."
Benji nodded and stood, uncomfortably, with his hands in his back pockets. "Uh, we could come into the kitchen if you want," Benji said. "That's probably the best place to do... this..."
Mrs. Elheart nodded and followed Benji past Callie in the living room and into the kitchen where Joel was pouring coffee for Mrs. Elheart and Benji. Benji pulled out a chair for Mrs. Elheart and sat on the opposite side of here where Joel soon joined them.
"Thank you," she said as Joel placed the cup of coffee in front of her. "Now, I would like to ask both of you a couple of questions if you don't mind."
Both twins nodded and watched as she took out some things from the black bag she had been carrying.
"It's my understanding that you are an alcoholic, Benjamin," the woman began. "Is that true?"
"Uh, I was," Benji said truthfully. "But I'm not anymore."
"He hasn't had anything for a year now," Joel added.
"Thank you Joel," the woman said, sending him a slight glare. "How do I know you won't start drinking again?"
"You don't," Benji began. "But I'm really trying - my dad was an alcoholic and I'm just trying not to be like him because I saw what it did to him."
"Your father was an alcoholic too?"
Joel rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair. 'He's off to a good start,' he thought sarcastically, trying no to say anything.
"Yeah. He left when we were 16, so we don't really know about him anymore."
"Ah," the woman said as she wrote things on the pad of paper she had. "And, what is it you do?"
"We're in a band," Joel replied.
"You both are?"
"Yeah. Good Charlotte - ever heard of 'em?"
Benji frowned and elbowed his brother in the ribs.
"Yes, actually," the woman said. "My daughter love Good Charlotte."
"Oh, you have kids?" Benji asked, trying to be polite.
"Two. It's my biological daughter who like's you - go figure."
Benji didn't reply, because he didn't know what "go figure" was supposed to mean.
"Is there any reason you believe that Callie's mother abandoned her?"
"There was a note, actually," Joel replied, digging the note out of his pocket and handing it to her. "I guess that would be a good indication."
The woman took it and unfolded it and began to read it. Benji looked at the back of the yellow paper, his eyes going wide.
"Joel," he hissed, elbowing his brother again.
"Ow!" Joel whispered. "What?!"
"Look!" Benji whispered back, nodding towards the back of the paper.
Joel followed his gaze and froze.
"There's a back?" Benji asked. "There's a back? Why didn't you tell me there was a back?"
"I didn't know there was more!" Joel protested, just as surprised as Benji was.
The woman looked up suspiciously at the twins before continuing to read. Benji prayed that she would miss the back completely, but the woman turned it over and her facial expression changed from bored to surprise.
"When you read this, did you happen to notice there was a back?"
Benji and Joel shook their heads. The woman handed the note to them and advised them to read it.
P.S. - It is my deepest hope that you find Callie's father and place him in his care. If he does not want her, please put her up for adoption - I know it's the best thing for her.
"Shit," Benji muttered, knowing only Joel could hear it.
"Uncle Joel?" Everyone looked over and noticed Callie standing next to Joel, tugging on his pants. "Can I go outside?"
"Why don't you go back in the living room and watch TV?" Benji asked.
"I don't want to. I want to go outside."
Benji sighed.
"I'll go out with her," Joel volunteered, happy to have an opportunity to get away from Mrs. Elheart.
He stood up and walked to the slider door with Callie and Mr. Bonkers where they disappeared outside and leaving Benji and Mrs. Elheart alone inside.
"According to that, Callie's mother want's to find Callie's biological father before she's put up for adoption," the woman said. "And I'm sorry, Mr. Madden, but we have to find out who Callie's birth father is before we even consider putting her up for adoption."
"If we can't find him," Benji said hopefully, "does that mean I can adopt her?"
"Do you want the truth, Mr. Madden?"
"If you don't mind," Benji said.
"The probability of you actually adopting Callie is slim to none."
Benji just sat there for a moment, trying to soak up what the woman had just told him. He could hear Callie laughing and he looked outside to see Joel and Callie jumping together on the trampoline.
"Why... why can't I adopt her?" he asked finally.
"Mr. Madden, you are aware that you are away from Waldorf most of the year, are you not? Doing that to Callie would just be unfair. You don't exactly have a wonderful house -"
"We could move!" Benji said. "I mean, the only reason we stayed here is because Callie was here! I'd be a good father, I swear..."
"There's no doubt in my mind that you think that you would be a good father to Callie," the woman said, collecting her things and stuffing them back into her bag, careful to remember Lily's note. "But you just aren't father material. You live on the road, you're a recovering alcoholic, and your family has a history of disappearing fathers. I'm sorry, Mr. Madden, but I don't think that we can leave Callie with you."
The woman stood up from the table. "Thank you for the coffee. I'll send somebody over at five to pick Callie up. She'll stay at the orphanage until we can find her birth father." She showed herself out, leaving a still stunned Benji sitting in his chair.
Once the shock had left Benji's body, he slowly got up and washed out the coffee cups. Leaving them in the sink, he wandered outside as he went through the words he would tell Joel in his mind.
"Hey!" Joel said, a smile on his face as he helped Callie jump up. "What happened?"
Benji put his hands in his pockets and looked down at the ground where he kicked a wild mushroom over.
"I have go talk to uncle Benji, okay Callie?" Joel asked, jumping down from the trampoline. "Be careful up there."
"Okay," Callie said, jumping up and down with Mr. Bonkers in her arms.
"What's up?" Joel asked once he was sure they were out of Callie's ear shot.
"They want to find Callie's birth father first," Benji said. "And then they're gonna put her up for adoption."
"That's okay," Joel said. "How many people has Lily fucked in that time? I mean, the chances of finding him and then him actually wanting her is like, a million to one."
"I know," Benji said. "But she said the chances of them letting me adopt her are about the same as finding Callie's actual father."
"What?" Joel asked. "Wait... why?"
"I'm not "father material" or something really stupid like that," Benji replied, trying not to break down and cry. "God damn, why the fuck would she say that?"
"Jesus, Benji..." Joel said, not sure what else to say. "Well... we've still got Callie for a while, don't we?" When Benji didn't answer, Joel seriously began to worry. "Don't we?" Joel asked.
"Some one is coming over at five for her, and she'll be staying at the orphanage until they find either her biological father or some one who will adopt her."
"Oh, fuck..." Joel said, looking up at Callie for a minute before looking back at his brother.
"I hate her," Benji said, sniffing to keep the tears from coming. "I hate her, Joel. She left her daughter behind and she doesn't even want us to have her. She knew how much we loved her! She knew it! I hate the fucking bitch..."
Joel took his brother in his arms and hugged him for a moment while Benji finally released some of his tears.
"Come on," Joel said to him. "We'd better get her things packed up."
Benji nodded and turned to go into the house while Joel got Callie.
-----
Five o'clock came and all three of them were waiting in the living room for somebody from Child Services to come and pick her up.
"Uncle Benji, where did my mommy go?" Callie finally asked, playing with the straps of her little bag.
"Your mommy went away," Benji said truthfully.
"When will she be back?"
Benji let out a broken sigh and looked up at Joel. "She won't."
"But these nice people are going to find you some really nice people to live with where you'll be really happy for the rest of your life," Joel replied.
"But I don't want to stay with anyone else!" Callie said, beginning to cry. "I wanna stay with mommy and you!" She was in full-blown tears when a light blue colored mini van pulled up to the side of the street and a younger woman stepped out and opened the side of the van up.
"You have to go with that nice lady now," Joel said, trying to move Callie away from the couch.
"I don't wanna go with her!" Callie screamed, hugging Benji. "I want my mommy! I wanna stay here!"
Joel sighed and opened the door up for the woman to enter.
"Callie," Benji said. "You have to go with the nice lady now, okay?"
"But I wanna stay with you!" Callie cried, still hugging Benji.
"Hey, hey..." Benji said. "This isn't good bye! I promise. Right after you go with the nice lady, they'll send you back to us, okay?" The thought didn't seem to cheer Callie up much, but she stopped crying so hard as Joel pried her off of Benji. "I love you," Benji told her, kissing her tear streaked face before she was forced to go with the woman.
Joel left Benji, who was now crying himself, and followed Callie and the woman out the the mini van. "Isn't there any way you could help us out?" Joel asked.
"You want what's best for her, don't you?" the woman asked after she had gotten Callie into the car seat.
"Of course," Joel said.
"Then you can help us look for Callie's biological father. You knew her mother best - try to come up with any possible people that could be her father and we can do a DNA test."
"And if we can't help you find him?"
The woman sighed and lowered her voice. "I can try to get you adoption papers," she said. "But you really need to help us find her father."
Joel sighed and nodded. "Thank you," he said.
The woman nodded and went around to the side of the van and got in.Inside, Benji watched tearfully as the blue mini van pulled away and Joel stood outside for a while before starting towards the back yard where he laid down on the trampoline. Benji placed his hand on one of the seat cushions and hit Mr. Bonkers instead. Benji picked up the toy cat and closed his eyes, wishing god would kill him then and there.