Falling Apart
Chapter 4
By: Makena
Benji sat at the kitchen table, staring blankly at the opposite side of the table and holding a coffee mug. He was wearing what he had wore the previous day and didn't intend on changing.
"Do you want anything to eat?" Joel asked, opening up the fridge. Benji shook his head no, still staring at the spot on the table. "Come on," Joel said. "You gotta do something better than stare at that damn spot all day."
"You can't tell me you don't miss Callie," Benji said, looking back at Joel.
"I know I can't. But I can't tell you I wanna kill myself over it, either."
"I didn't say that," Benji said, narrowing his eyes.
"You didn't say it, Benji, but I know you're thinking it. You're my fucking twin... I know shit like this."
Benji sighed and got up from the table. "I'm going to take a shower," he said, not bothering to remove the coffee cup from the table.
"I promised the woman yesterday that we would help find Callie's biological father," Joel blurted out.
Benji paused and turned around. "You what?" he asked.
"I promised the woman that we would help out," Joel said.
Benji sighed and closed his eyes. "Why would you do something like that?"
"Because if we can't find him, you may get the adoption papers."
Benji's heart stopped. "You mean... I might...?"
"It's still not a great possibility, but the woman said she would try."
Benji nodded. The possibility still wasn't great, which meant making a list of all the guys Lily had fucked over the past six years would be pointless and unimportant to him.
"Whatever," Benji said. "I'm taking my shower."
Joel sighed as he watched him leave. 'Why does he have to be like this?' he asked, moving his eyes skyward.
-----
Joel sat, alone, in a small office with yet another woman from Child Services.
"You say you can help us find Callie's biological father?" the woman asked, placing a thick pair of rimmed glasses on her nose. "That's great news!"
"Er, yeah..." Joel said. "But, first I want to ask you why my brother can't adopt her, assuming we can't find Callie's father."
"Your brother's name?" the woman asked.
"Benjamin Madden."
The woman typed it into her computer and read what had come up. "It say's here that the living conditions aren't exactly safe, and that your brother wouldn't be a stable father."
Joel frowned. "He's not an alcoholic, if that's what made your minds up about that," Joel said, defending his brother. "He'd make an excellent father - he loves Callie so much. I'm actually a little worried he might kill himself over this."
"That might be another reason he would make an unstable father," the woman said, clicking the keys again.
"It's not fair," Joel said. "You people don't even know who he is and you're calling him un-fit to be a father."
"I know it's not fair," the woman said. "But before we even consider letting Callie be adopted we need to find her birth father. I believe that's why you're here?"
"Oh, yeah," Joel said. "Sorry."
"Quite alright," the woman said, adding an encouraging smile. "The first name you can remember."
"Well, I don't know every guy Lily slept with six years ago, but..."
The door opened and Benji stepped inside, wearing his red bondage pants and an Anti-Flag t-shirt. "Sorry," he said. "I got stuck in traffic."
"You must be Benjamin," the woman said, standing up to shake his hand. "I'm Elli Franklin, but you can just call me Elli."
"And you can call me Benji. Did I miss anything?"
"Your brother was just about to start naming people," Elli said with a smile. "Please, sit down. Is there anything you want? Coke? Coffee? Water? Juice?"
'Drugs,' Benji thought. "I'm fine, thanks."
They sat down and were in Elli's office for almost an hour, trying to think of who Callie's father could possibly have been.
"I really can't think of anyone else," Joel said after a while. "Robbie Travin? Yeah... I remember him. God - I'm pretty sure we're the only guy's in Waldorf who didn't have sex with her."
He began to laugh and looked over at Benji, who wasn't laughing.
"I did," Benji spoke up suddenly. Joel stopped laughing and Elli looked up at him. "What?" Joel asked.
"I did," Benji repeated, looking up at his brother. "I remember - it was five or six years ago I guess. There was this party and I guess we were both really drunk, but... I doubt it was before Callie was born."
Joel stared at his brother as Elli typed Benji's name into the computer anyway. "Why did I not know about this?" Joel asked.
"It was a drunken mistake," Benji replied. "But Callie's not... she's not mine. It wasn't... no, she's not mine."
"Well, I've put your name into the computer anyway," Elli said. "We'll call you when we need a blood sample for a DNA match, though."
"This is ridiculous," Benji said. "She can't possibly be mine."
"Just... take it?" Joel said. "You never know."
Benji looked between Joel and Elli and finally sighed and agreed to a DNA sample.
------
It was almost a week before Benji was called about a DNA test, and he suddenly became a little anxious. "Fuck, they have the wrong guy," Benji said, sitting on the couch.
"Relax," Joel said. "It's not like you're on trial for murder or something."
"Easy for you to say," Benji scoffed. "YOU'RE not the one taking the test."
"Besides, it's tomorrow. Nothing you need to study for."
Benji smiled sarcastically and stared at the TV as the phone rang. It rang three times before either of them made a move for it.
"No, no," Joel said. "You don't have to move. I'll get it - not like I'm comfortable or anything."
He rolled his eyes and muttered some things under his breath as he answered the phone.
"Bat Cave," he said. "Were the butler does more than Bat Man."
"Joel?" a panicked voice questioned.
"Billy?! What's up?"
"You need to get your ass to the hospital right now."
"Why?" Joel asked, frowning slightly.
"It's Paul - something happened. I guess he got shot or something."
"He got shot?!" Joel asked. "What? When? Where?"
"I don't know," Billy said. "Paul called me on the phone and said something about getting into a fight and he got shot."
"Shit," Joel said. "Okay, we'll be down in a minute." Joel hung up before Billy could add anything and looked at Benji, who was already putting his shoes on.
"I know," he said. "What happened?"
"Paul got into a fight - probably drunk off his ass or something. We gotta get down there."
"Where'd he get shot?"
Joel shrugged as he grabbed his car keys from the table and they got into his car. It was a half hour drive to the hospital where they met Billy in the waiting room.
"Where is he?" Joel asked.
Billy pointed down the hallway. "Somewhere down there, I guess," he replied. "What's the story?"
Billy shrugged and sat back down on one of the chairs so that he could read one of the music magazines that was laying about. "No fucking clue," Billy said. "You might wanna sit - this could take a while."
After about an hour, a nurse came in and told them that they were allowed to see their friend. The wandered down the halls until they found Paul's room (247) and walked inside where he was being tucked into one of the beds.
"Hey," he said, waving at them slightly. Both wrists had been wrapped up into casts and his left hand was wrapped in white bandages. Towards the center of his palm was a red spot that indicated blood.
"You got shot in your hand?" Joel questioned.
"And I broke both my wrists," Paul said, not really down about it. "See?" He held up his hands so that the guys could observe his broken wrists.
"What the fuck happened?" Benji questioned as the nurses left the room.
"I guess I got into a fight. Guy pulled a fucking gun on me and I fell after I got hit."
"What was the fight about?"
"I don't know, man! I was too fucking drunk to know what I was doing."
"Where exactly was he trying to hit you?" Joel asked.
Paul shrugged. "Guess he was a little drunk too. But he hit me."
"Did it hurt?"
"No, it felt like petting a kitty," Paul said sarcastically. "Yeah it hurt."
Everyone stayed with Paul for about an hour before Benji announced that he had to get home and sleep.
"Why?" Billy asked.
"DNA test," Benji explained.
"Why are you taking a DNA test?" Paul asked.
"They think Callie might be mine."
"Out of like, a million other guys," Paul said. "Why - does Lily suddenly care now?"
"She's gone," Joel said. "Took off - people at Child Services are tying to find Callie's birth father."
"Actually, since we're all here I have something to say," Billy said.
"Can it wait?" Benji asked.
"I wouldn't think so," Billy said with a frown.
"I'm tired. I wanna go to bed where I might actually get some sleep for the first time in about a week."
"See you later, Paul," Joel said.
"Yeah."
Billy frowned and followed the twins out, promising Paul that he would be back. "What the fuck?" he yelled after them. "I need to tell you something that's a little fucking important and you just walk off like it's nothing?"
"What is it?" Benji asked, a little tired and irritated.
"Fuck - forget it. Maybe I'll surprise you."
"What do you need to tell us that's a "little fucking important" and can't wait till morning that you need to tell us?" Joel asked.
Billy shook his head. "Fuck off," he said, walking back into Paul's room.
"That was really important!" Benji called sarcastically. "Come on, Joel. I want to get home."
"Maybe he really had something important to tell us," Joel said, a little hesitant to get back to their car.
"He'll tell us if it's important," Benji reassured him. "Let's just go."
Joel nodded and sighed, walking to the elevator where the rode to the parking lot and went home.
-----
Benji woke up late the next morning and had to hurry to get dressed and ready for the DNA testing.
"Where is this thing anyway?" Benji asked Joel through a mouth full of tooth paste.
"You would think it would be in the hospital," Joel said. "For those of us who are complete retards..."
Benji smiled sarcastically and spit in the sink.
"Are you ready yet?" Joel asked.
"Yeah, yeah," Benji said, slipping his shoes on and walking into the living room. "It's not like they can take the DNA test without me."
"They could, but the results wouldn't come back excellent," Joel pointed out. "You have tooth paste on your mouth."
Benji wiped the sides of his mouth with is hand and threw a hoodie on over his t-shirt. "Gone?"
"No."
Benji shrugged and followed Joel to his car. Benji stuffed Mr. Bonkers inside his pocket before he walked outside, in case he saw Callie there. If not, he could just drive to the orphanage and give it to here there.
-----
Callie wasn't at the DNA testing, but about ten other guys Benji knew where and all of them looked nervous. Less so when they saw ten other guys there for the same thing, but nervous none the less.
"Madden, Benjamin!" a nurse called out after "Little, Matthew" had left the room.
Benji walked in and rolled his hoodie sleeve up so the nurse could draw his blood. She smiled at him as she placed a band-aid on the place she had drawn blood and offered him a lolly pop.
"Uh, no thanks," Benji said with a small laugh.
"You have tooth paste on your mouth," she said.
"Oh," Benji said, swiping at his mouth in attempt to get it off.
The nurse laughed and followed him out of the room where she called "Philip, Joshua" into the room.
"Are you gonna go see Paul?" Benji asked his brother.
"Yeah, why?"
"Can I borrow your car?"
"Don't you wanna see Paul too?" Joel questioned, digging the key's out of his pocket.
"Well, yeah," Benji said. "I just gotta run a quick errand. I'll be right back, I swear." Benji drove to the orphanage that was connected to the Child Services building and ran inside. "I'm here to see a little girl," Benji told the young woman at the front desk.
"Are you here about adoption?" she asked.
"No. I just - I wanted to give her something. I know she'd need it - she left it at my house."
"Oh. Okay then. If you leave it here I can make sure it gets to her."
"I kind of wanted to give it to her myself..." Benji said.
"Uncle Benji!" Callie's voice rang though the entrance hall. "Uncle Benji! It's me! Callie!" Benji turned around and saw Callie, running to him. He smiled and bent down to hug the little girl. "You came to get me!" she cried happily.
"No," Benji said. "I didn't... not yet. I came to give you this."
"Oh..."
"Here," Benji said, holding Mr. Bonkers out for Callie.
"Mr. Bonkers!" Callie said. "I looked for him." She paused to hug her stuffed toy and then looked at Benji. "When are you going to come and get me?" she asked him.
"Soon," Benji lied, plastering a smile across his face. "You just stay here for now, okay?"
Callie nodded sadly. "Please hurry," she pleaded. "I don't like it here."
"Callie!" an older woman called. "Callie! It's time to go outside and play with the other kids." Callie turned around and nodded and began to walk away when Benji caught her arm.
"Good bye, Callie," he choked, trying not to cry again. He knew very well that it could be the last time he ever saw her.
"It's not good bye if I'm gonna see you again," Callie said. "It's see you later."
Benji smiled at her and nodded. "Sure," he said. "See you later."
"Okay, uncle Benji. See you later!" She kissed him on the cheek and scampered off towards the older woman who was waiting for her at the door.
"See you later, Callie. Later."