Hate Every Beautiful Day
Chapter 12
By: Makena
"Do you have a girlfriend?" Benji shook his head no.
"Maybe if you had somebody you could spend your time with, you wouldn't feel so depressed?" Benji simply nodded and looked at the pictures that hung on the walls.
He was in the counselor's room, talking to Ms. Izzy about random stuff. She called him in her room usually once a week - some times once every two weeks - to talk about things. She told him he was "depressed," but she hadn't done anything about it. Nothing like getting him real help or pills or anything. Not that he could afford it, anyway.
"Let's think of some people you could start hanging around with," she said, digging a yellow note pad out of her desk. "List some girls you might be interested in." Benji sighed slightly. He didn't know why he continued to see her - she never really helped that much.
"How about Nicole?" Ms. Izzy suggested. "I saw her and some of her friends the other day - why don't you try hanging out with them? They have that new girl in their group - Makena I think her name was?"
Benji made a face. "I... I don't like..."
"You two would make a cute couple. You're both interested in the same things."
"She has a boyfriend," Benji explained. "Besides - I don't like her."
"Oh? Well... you wouldn't have to start a relationship with her. Just try to hang around some people this week. Make some friends, go to the football game..."
Benji nodded and sighed. He wouldn't really go out and try to make friends. He nodded so she would stop talking about it.
"Have you been cutting yourself?"
Benji shook his head no. He hadn't for quite a while - he probably wouldn't ever really again. It was a small phase after his dad left - just before he began to drink - but that was it.
"Good. Well..." The bell cut her off, signaling lunch. Benji, relieved, stood up and grabbed his books.
"Try to sit with some one during lunch today," Ms. Izzy told him. "And work on those stress exercises we talked about last week." Benji nodded, pretending he had caught everything she had just told him. He opened the door and didn't bother closing it, so people could see if she was available or with some one.
He walked into the hall and down towards the cafeteria to get himself something to eat. He had come home drunk on Saturday and spent most of the night with his head in a toilet bowl, leaving all of his Sunday appetite behind. Monday he stayed home because of his one day suspention, but didn't eat anything because he wasn't exactly hungry. But now he was hungry and couldn't wait to get his lunch.
-----
"Look what I found at your house, Nicole." Billy set his back pack down on the lunch table and slowly dug out an empty, glass liquor bottle. Nicole looked the bottle over and shrugged.
Shannon and Makena looked up from the piece of paper they had been reading and raised an eyebrow at each other.
"So my parents keep alcohol in the house," Nicole said with a shrug, bending over her last minuet math homework. "Are you against it now or something?"
Billy shook his head and placed the bottle down in front of Nicole. "I found it in the bushes outside your bathroom." Nicole picked up the empty glass and examined it, softly brushing a clump of dirt off the side.
"Hey, didn't Benji disappear for a while before your parents got home?" Shannon spoke up.
"Yeah," Nicole said, setting the bottle back down on the table in front of her math book. "He went to the... bathroom..." She slowly paused and looked up at her friends. She suddenly got it. Paul, Brian and the other blond haired boy - John - appeared at the table and took their seats with their lunches.
"Shit..." Nicole muttered, leaning back in her seat, staring at the empty bottle. "Man... that kid does have a problem."
Paul frowned and twisted his pop open. "What?" he said. "What'd I miss? Who has a problem?"
"Paul," Makena spoke up. "Think about it."
Paul frowned, but figured it out. He looked down at the bottle and nodded. "Oh."
Nicole sighed and pushed herself away from the table and grabbed the empty bottle. She stood up and began to walk towards the other side of the lunch room where Benji sat, eating his school provided lunch.
"Where's she going?" Shannon asked. Billy shrugged and watched Nicole cross the room.
Nicole reached Benji's table and set the empty liquor bottle down in front of his tray before taking a seat next to him. Somewhat surprised, Benji looked up at the bottle and followed the hand that held onto it until he looked directly at Nicole.
"You wanna tell me something?" she asked him. Benji frowned.
"Not really."
"Billy found this outside my bathroom after he left," Nicole explained. "I know you took it."
Benji shrugged. "So? What if I did?"
"It's just... stupid!" Nicole said. "You're a football player. You're 17! You're not supposed to drink!"
"You know NOTHING about me, so maybe you should shut up and leave me alone."
"Wow - you're really not social," Nicole observed.
"Wow - you noticed," Benji shot back.
"Okay, okay, I'll leave you alone. Just - don't drink."
"Fuck you."
Nicole stuck up her middle finger and left Benji alone to join her own group again.
"The wrath of Benji strikes again," Makena observed.
"Yeah," Nicole said with a sigh. "He really hates - well, EVERYTHING."
"Because he's just such a loving person," Brian said sarcastically.
"Does that mean Operation Benji has failed and we're not gonna hang with him anymore?" Paul asked. Nicole shook her head.
"No," she replied. "We're not gonna give up that easily."
-----
Benji sat in the locker room after football practice. There weren't too many people left - most of them had gone home or to their girlfriend's houses or whatever. Benji was slowly pulling his t-shirt on over his sore, bruised body, not bothering to rush. All he had to come home to was a bottle of beer.
He slowly pulled his pants on over his boxers and grabbed his backpack from the depths of his gym locker. A brown haired boy Benji had talked to once when he asked about a shower and Benji had called him gay walked by and shouldered him. Hard. Benji stumbled but was able to regain balance before he fell to the hard, tile floor.
"Ohh... sorry, Combs," the boy said sarcastically.
"Watch it," Benji muttered. He tried to act tough, but he found it hard to do when he was surrounded by a bunch of football jocks that had been playing sports since they were in middle school and were taller than him.
"What are you gonna do? Kick me? Weak little bastard..."
"Hey! Leave him alone."
Benji turned around and saw Aaron, putting his duffel bag on around his shoulder. Benji rolled his eyes, but the boy backed off and gave Benji a quick glare before walking out the gym doors.
"I coulda handled that myself," Benji told Aaron defensively.
"Yeah, right. You're 5'7" and he's, like, 6'2." He could have kicked your ass."
"Thank you for your lack of confidence in me," Benji said with a frown, pulling his backpack straps up around his own shoulders. Aaron laughed and walked with Benji.
"You need a ride home?" he asked. Benji was about to accept when he ran into some one who had been walking the opposite direction. Papers dropped and fluttered around the ground.
"Aw, shit," he heard some one muttered.
"Sorry..." Benji said briefly. He looked around and saw Paul with a guitar case strapped around his back. He was scrambling around the floor, trying to collect the scattered papers.
"It's fine," Paul muttered, picking up a sheet of bass music after what looked like a page from a play book. "I was finished with it anyway." He paused and looked up at Benji.
"Oh. It's you."
Benji frowned and watched him pick up his papers for a second longer before he was distracted by another voice.
"Paul? I thought you were gone?"
Benji looked up and saw Makena, holding a small stack of books under her arms.
"Hey, babe," Aaron said, putting his arm around Makena's waist. "Ready to go?"
Makena nodded and looked at Benji quickly. She gave him a small nod before looking back down at Paul.
"You need help?" she asked him. Paul shook his head no.
"You're in the play too?" Aaron asked Paul, ignoring Benji completely. Paul nodded and neatly stacked his papers together.
"He's Antipholus," Makena spoke up.
"What play?" Benji asked, somewhat confused. Makena looked up at him and tried not to laugh.
"Like you care," she scoffed.
"A Comedy of Errors," Paul replied. "The school drama club is putting it on this year."
"Can we go?" Benji asked impatiently, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. Makena looked over at him and frowned, then back up at Aaron.
"You're giving him a ride again?" she asked him. Aaron nodded and gave her a "be nice" glance. She sighed but sucked it up anyway.