Hate Every Beautiful Day
Chapter 14
By: Makena
Despite the fact it was almost 11 at night, the group of eight stopped at an all-nighter restaurant and wreaked havoc until they were finally kicked out by an annoyed, tired looking waitress. Benji, however, just sat there, but managed to laugh a couple of times.
"Where to next?" Nicole asked before getting into her car.
"Let's go to the park," Paul said.
"Um... why?"
"Because... it'll be fun..." Nicole laughed, but they drove to the park anyway. They sat on the swings, took turns pushing the merry-go-round, and slid on the slides. Benji took it upon himself to climb one of the giant willow trees that shaded the teeter-totters Paul and Shannon were playing on. He sat on one of the thick branches and watched everything that happened around him. The distant traffic, Brian spinning himself sick on the merry-go-round, the stars. Everything.
"Need a smoke?"
A little startled, Benji jumped and looked over at who had spoken to him. It was Billy, who had found his way up the same tree to smoke and think.
"Uh, sure," Benji replied. Billy took out a cigarette from the package he was carrying and handed it to Benji before taking one for himself. He handed Benji his lighter and waited patiently for his turn.
"Thanks," Benji said, handing Billy's lighter back to him. He coughed slightly.
"You okay?" Billy asked. Benji nodded.
"I haven't smoked in a while," he admitted. They sat in silence for a while, watching Billy's friends.
"So... what's up with you?" Billy asked finally, a little unsure about his question.
"What's up with me?" Benji repeated.
"Like... why do you drink?"
Benji sighed. He didn't want to tell anybody about his motives for drinking, which was usually when he became defensive and rude. But he wasn't in the mood to fight.
"It's... kind of a long story," he lied.
"We got time."
Benji shook his head.
"It's not so munch long as it... personal, I guess," he said. "I just... never mind." Billy nodded and didn't say anything for a moment.
"Are you depressed?" Billy asked. Benji sighed again.
"That's what they say," he said.
"They...?"
"Ms. Izzy. People I talk to - teachers and stuff." "Oh." He paused. "Do you wanna... um... you know..."
"Kill myself?" Benji finished for him. "I've thought about it."
"Oh. Well... don't." Benji laughed to himself and shook his head.
"It doesn't work like that." Billy shrugged.
"I know," he replied. "I was just saying..." Again, they sat in silence for a while before it was Benji's turn to ask a question.
"Why are you trying to be nice to me?" he questioned. Billy paused and began to reply.
"I mean, you and Nicole and Paul and Shannon and everyone," Benji added. "Why are you doing this?"
"We saw you at lunch once," Billy replied. "You looked kind of - alone, I guess, and we figured you could use a friend or seven." Benji nodded.
"Oh."
"Hey!" Paul called up to the two. "I think the cops are coming!"
"It's a public park, dude," Billy called back.
"It's also midnight - past curfew and I think we're making too much noise." Billy rolled his eyes and looked at Benji, but he knew Paul was right. He put his cigarette out on the tree's hard bark and flicked it to the ground before trying to climb down the tree. Benji did the same, and they soon piled back in Nicole's car, driving down the road to avoid the police.
-----
"It's almost time for breakfast." Benji sat up and tried to look at the clock. He had fallen asleep in Nicole's car. They all had. Nicole had decided she was too tired to sleep, and nobody wanted to drive, so they parked some where they knew would be safe and fell asleep. Benji, Billy, Paul, Brian and Shannon had all fallen asleep in the back seats, Shannon stretched out across the four guys with her head resting on Benji's lap. John, Makena and Nicole had somehow managed to all stretch themselves out along the front seat.
"What time is it?" Paul asked, still half asleep.
"Almost time for breakfast," Nicole repeated, sitting up and gripping the steering wheel. "Tenish."
"We're still in Annapolis," Billy said.
"My dad's gonna kill me," Makena said, although she didn't seem too worried about it.
"Fuck that," Paul said. "Let's just worry about breakfast for now." Shannon stirred and slowly sat up.
"I'm hungry," she said. She looked around for a moment before realizing where her head had been.
"Holy shit," she gasped, looking at Benji as Nicole started the car up. "I'm sorry... I didn't know I did that." Benji shrugged.
"Don't worry about it," he told her.
"Really?" Shannon asked. "Um... okay."
"Where are we eating?" Nicole spoke up.
"Anywhere!" Paul said. "Just... food!"
-----
They spent another hour in Annapolis before they returned to Waldorf. It was almost noon, and everybody was suddenly worried about what their parents were going to say or do.
"Well, I'm grounded," Makena said from the front seat. "Don't drop me off at my house."
"Um, yeah, just don't drop us off at our own houses," Shannon agreed. "I'll probably... oh, I don't know."
"Well, decided where I'm leaving you, because I have to get home," Nicole said.
"Agh, just drop me off at my house," Shannon said.
"Drop me off at her house, too," Makena spoke up. "I live close to her... sort of."
"My house," Billy said.
"Drop me off at Brian's," Paul said.
"Me too," John spoke up. "I don't wanna go home yet."
"So you come to MY house," Brian said.
"Okay, okay." Nicole paused. "Where you goin, Benj?"
Benji shrugged. He waited until everyone had been dropped off at their own homes before he decided to go home.
"I heard you and Billy talking about things last night," Nicole spoke up after Makena and Shannon got out of the car, letting Benji slide onto the front seat. She paused and backed out of Shannon's driveway before heading towards Benji's house. "Did you really think about killing yourself." Benji sighed and shrugged slightly. He was tired, he wanted to go to bed, and he wanted to be bugged by nobody.
"Do," he told her. "I do."
"Oh."
Neither of them said anything the rest of the ride. She dropped him off at his house and he grabbed his duffel bag from the trunk.
"Thanks," he said, trying to conceal a yawn.
"No problem," Nicole said. "And... Benji? Don't... don't do anything... stupid." Benji sighed. He nodded a little and walked towards his old, breaking down house.