Hate Every Beautiful Day
Chapter 15
By: Makena
"I'm grounded." Everyone looked up at Paul and Brian as they joined the lunch table.
"Who isn't?" Billy asked bitterly.
"When aren't you, is the question," Nicole said.
"I'm not," Makena spoke up. Everyone looked over at her. She shrugged and took a bite of pizza.
"How?"
"My dad went to Michigan for the weekend," she began to explain. "And since my mom lives in Iowa, and I was all alone, there's no way my dad can find out that I didn't come home."
"Jesus," Shannon gasped. "Lucky bitch." Makena grinned, but soon began to frown a little.
"Yeah, but I forgot my key, and I had to crawl through the kitchen window." Everyone laughed at the vision of Makena crawling through her kitchen window.
"Your dad's gone a lot," Shannon observed. "Why didn't he just stay in Michigan?" Makena shrugged.
"I don't know. Why would you ask me something like that?" Shannon shrugged and looked across the cafeteria at Benji, sitting alone again.
"Damn," she muttered, watching him slowly eat his food.
"What?" Nicole asked. Shannon pointed at Benji. Everyone looked to see what she was talking about.
"I was SURE we had him!" she said. "Why isn't he eating lunch with us?"
"Maybe he doesn't want to?" Makena suggested.
"But... he talked to us after the football game," Billy said. "He actually talked to me. And he hung out with us."
"So?" Makena said. "What are we gonna do?" Nicole thought about it for a minute before looking down at her lunch, and then back up at Benji and his lunch.
"We'll eat lunch with him," she said, standing up. She picked up her pop and tray of food and walked across the cafeteria to where Benji was sitting.
"Hello," she said, putting her tray down on the table next to Benji. Startled, Benji jumped a little and dropped his pizza back onto his tray.
"Shit," he muttered to himself. "What are you doing?"
"I'm eating lunch with you," she replied, inviting herself to sit down next to him.
"Uh... why?"
"Cause you won't eat lunch with us," Nicole replied simply.
"There might be a reason for that, you know." Nicole shrugged. There was suddenly six more people setting their lunches down and sitting around the table with Benji.
"What the hell...?" Benji questioned.
"Did you get grounded?" Shannon asked Benji.
"No," he replied shortly.
"Neither did Makena," she told him. She paused to take a drink of her own pop. "Homecoming is next week."
"Good for it."
"You going with anyone?" Benji sighed.
"I don't think I'm going," he replied honestly. "To the dance. That's what you were talking about, right?"
"Well, yeah," Shannon said. Benji sighed and put his napkin down on his tray before standing up.
"I'm finished," he announced. He left the table to take his tray back up to the kitchen. They all watched in silence as Benji left the cafeteria and walked towards his locker.
"Well THAT was relatively pointless," Nicole said with a sigh.
"I have to finish some math, anyway," Makena announced, getting up from the table.
"I'll go with you," Shannon said, getting up with her. They walked through the halls towards Makena's locker without saying much. Finally...
"I was thinking about going to the dance," Shannon spoke up.
"Why?" Makena asked.
"Because... I want to," she replied slowly. "Your going."
"That's because Aaron's going. He's a football player, and..." she paused. "You like Benji, don't you?" Shannon shrugged and smiled.
"He's cute. I think he can be a really nice person if we could just... break him, a little."
"Break him?" Makena repeated.
"You know what I mean," Shannon said. "What do you think? Should I ask him?" Makena sighed and shook her head, spinning the combination to her locker.
"No," she said. "He's not social. He's just not a nice person, and..." She paused. Why COULDN'T Shannon ask him to the dance?
"Well, yeah but..." Shannon paused. "Oh my god. YOU like Benji!" Makena frowned.
"Um, no," she said. "I do not."
"Yes! Yes you do! You like Benji!"
"I have a boyfriend," Makena pointed out.
"So?! You have a crush on Benji! You have a crush on Benji!"
"Shut up," Makena hissed, trying to stop Shannon's little song and dance she had just created. "I do not."
"Yeah, okay," Shannon laughed. "Just keep telling yourself that." Makena frowned and grabbed her math book. She didn't have a crush on Benji. She COULDN'T have a crush on Benji. No - she didn't have a crush on Benji. Of course not... there was not way. Right...?
-----
Benji laid his head down on his pillow and closed his eyes, making sure his beer didn't spill. He was tired. Between school and football practice, he hardly found time to sleep. He slowly began to rub his temples with his free hand, taking another sip of his drink with the other. Joel walked in as Benji sat up, yawning. He paused when he noticed Benji holding a bottle of beer and sighed.
"Oh," he said. Benji frowned slightly as he watched Joel put some of his books down on the bed. His book on Alcoholism spilled out of the pile and fell to the floor on top of a blue notebook.
"Um... did you want dinner?" Joel asked, not sure how many beers his brother had consumed yet. Benji just shook his head and took another sip of his alcohol.
"No," he said.
"I'm gonna make some sandwiches for Sarah and me," Joel said. "Just... tell me if you want anything." Benji nodded and watched his brother leave. Normally, he would have gone back to drinking and attempting sleep, but he couldn't this time. Instead, he bent down to pick Joel's book on Alcoholism up off the floor and examined the cover. It was a wine glass falling to the floor, red wine swirling around the crystal before spilling out. He turned it over before opening the book to the first page, setting his beer down on the night stand. A folded piece of notebook paper fell out onto his lap. Curious, Benji dropped the book to his bed and unfolded the piece of paper. It was a note that had been passed back and forward between a class - one of Joel's classes. Above his messy, untidy writing was a cleaner form of writing - some girl, Benji guessed. Most of it was pretty unimportant and didn't really have any significance, but the bottom of the note made Benji mad.
'My brother drinks. He's 17.' was written in Joel's writing.
"What the hell...?" Benji muttered. The door to their bedroom opened and Joel stepped inside with a half of a P.B.&J sandwich in his hand.
"Joel, what the hell is this?" Benji demanded, holding up the note. Joel froze and looked at the piece of paper in Benji's hand, a little confused.
"Paper...?" he began slowly.
"It's a note, Joel," Benji said, holding up the Alcoholism book. "I found it in this." Benji threw the book at Joel's bed. "It says 'My brother drinks. He's 17.' Why the hell would you tell someone that?" Joel shrugged and took a bite of sandwich before answering. He showed no fear towards his brother. Or interest.
"She was curious," he replied. "She wanted to know why I was reading a book about Alcoholism, and I told her. I don't know WHY I told her - people you don't know are easier to tell things to, I guess." Benji frowned.
"Her? You didn't know her? Great, so some girl you don't know is walking around, thinking I'm some kind of psycho..." Benji stopped. His mind clicked as he pieced what he had just said together. Her. Joel didn't know HER. Makena.
"Fuck," he muttered, letting the piece of paper fall to the floor. Things were finally coming together. Makena and Nicole and their little group of friends weren't trying to be friends with Benji because they could. It was obvious they knew he was a drinker - Makena probably told them. They were trying to help him.
"Okay, what?" Joel asked, finishing his sandwich.
"Makena," Benji said. "She... she knows. And they all know. Nicole and Billy and Shannon. And they're trying to help me... I think..."
"Well... that's good, right?"
"No!" Benji replied in a half yell. "No, it's NOT good! I never asked for their help. I never asked for YOUR help. I never asked for ANYBODY'S help! I don't want it! If you thought you could help me though people you don't even KNOW - fuck, Joel, you were wrong."
"Wait... Benji, what..." Joel began.
"Yeah, they've been trying to hang out with me," Benji cut him off. "All because you told that stupid bitch that I happen to drink a little and now they're all trying to help me be "happy and carefree." Well you know what? I don't - want - help!"
"Jesus, Benji! Calm down!"
"No! This just... this sucks! I don't want it!"
"I never..."
"Just... just shut up, Joel!" Benji shouted. "I don't give a flying fuck! About ANYTHING! About you, about football, about school, about myself. Nothing!" Benji angrily picked up his beer and quickly chugged it down. He stood in front of the window, watching nothing in particular, so he wouldn't have to face Joel. He just wanted to be alone.