Hate Every Beautiful Day
Chapter 24
By: Makena
Almost a month had passed. It was closer to the end of October now, and the leaves had changed from green to reds and oranges and yellows. Thing's from Benji's end had stayed the same, except he sometimes exchanged friendly, yet uncomfortable conversations with Makena, because they were "friends" now.
Thing's from Makena's end had almost stayed the same, except she was now in love with two completely different people and she suddenly began to feel nauseous every now and then.
"Maybe you have cancer?" Billy suggested at lunch. Makena frowned and took a drink of her pop.
"That's not funny, Billy," Makena scoffed.
"You should probably go to the doctor after school," Nicole said. "It might be serious."
Makena let out a broken sigh and set her pop down. She knew it was serious, but she prayed that she didn't have anything like Billy had suggested.
-----
"Ms. Phipps?"
Makena sat up on the high table like bed she had been laying on. She had been wearing one of those hospital robes that opens up in the back, but she allowed herself to change back into her jeans and the black hoodie she had been wearing.
"We have the results," the doctor said somewhat regretfully, holding a clipboard with numerous papers clipped down to it. "We know why you've been feeling nauseous."
-----
Another football practice had ended and Benji found himself relieved to realize that the season was almost over. He walked home, as usual, but took his time this particular day, because the sun was out and the leaves looked so beautiful in the sun. He walked, as always, by the park and kicked at twig before he noticed someone sitting on the bench not too far away, hugging her knees and crying.
Benji stopped walking as he noticed the girl had long, blond hair that was pulled up in a part pony tail and a black hoodie on. Makena.
Curious, he walked over to her and invited himself to sit down next to her, putting his backpack down on the grass. Makena looked up at him and began to cry even harder. She flung herself at him and openly sobbed into his hoodie.
Taken by surprise and not really knowing what else to do, Benji gingerly put his arm around her and softly stroked her hair. They stayed like that for a moment before she pulled away and looked at Benji again, trying desperately not to cry. Her face was red, and the tears that flooded her eyes made the blue stand out even more than they did on their own.
"Um... what's wrong?" Benji asked finally. A couple of new tears slipped down her face as she thought about it. She wiped her face with the sleeve of her hoodie and tried to explain her reason for crying.
"I skipped play practice today," she began, pausing to hiccup. Benji frowned a little.
"I don't..."
"Well, there's more," Makena interrupted. "You didn't... let me... finish..." She broke down into sobs again and picked at the hole in her jeans.
"Oh, Benji, it's horrible!" she sobbed. "I don't know how this could have ever happened to me! I was supposed to go to college and get my degree in english and journalism, or even start my own band, because teaching really doesn't sound appealing to me and..." she paused and tried to wipe her tears away again as more fell down.
"What happened?" Benji demanded. "Are you okay?"
"No!" Makena sobbed. "I'm not! This is a horrible mistake, I can't have it..."
"Can't have what?" Benji pressed. "What's wrong?"
Makena didn't respond for a while as she tried to calm herself down. It seemed to work after a couple of deep breaths. She let out a broken sigh and looked directly at Benji.
"I went to the hospital after school," she began. "That's why I didn't go to play practice."
"What's wrong?" Benji repeated. "Are you okay, I mean? Do you... you aren't dying are you?"
Makena let out another broken sigh. "Benji," she said. "I'm pregnant."
-----
Benji sat, stunned and in awe. Makena sighed and tried desperately not to cry.
"You... um... you're pregnant?" Benji repeated. Makena closed her eyes and nodded, biting her bottom lip. A couple of tears escaped and slipped down her face and into her lap.
"Oh..." Benji said. He didn't exactly know what to say, because he didn't exactly know who's it was. Although there was some chance it could be his, she had a boyfriend. They'd probably done it plenty of times.
He turned his gaze off of Makena and onto the playground in front of them, where a couple of kids were playing.
"Benji," Makena said after a long, uncomfortable moment of silence. "Benji... it's yours."
Benji's stomach jumped as he turned to look at her. "You can't possibly know that," Benji said. "What about Aaron?"
Makena sighed and tried not to cry. "Aaron and I never actually did... it," Makena explained. "We almost did, once. But his parents came home early and we obviously didn't. And the last person I slept with happened to be you."
Benji couldn't believe what he was hearing. He couldn't be a father. Not yet, at least. Maybe - when he could afford it and actually be around, but... now was not a good time.
"Shit..." he muttered. Neither of them said anything for a while as their brains twisted with "what if's" and "what now's?"
"Um, so... what were you thinking?" Benji asked finally. Makena shrugged.
"I don't know, Benji," she said. "I don't know."
"Abortion?"
"Out of the question," Makena told him firmly.
"I know," Benji sighed. "Adoption?"
Makena shook her head. "My mom did that when she was 19. I don't want to go through that, too."
Benji sighed again. "Well our options are a little thin now," Benji said. "So you're... you're going to keep... it?"
Makena sighed. "I guess that's our only option," she said. She began to cry again. "God, Benji, why does everything have to be so fucked? I hate this."
"You hate what?" Benji asked.
"This! This whole mess, that stupid school, this stupid town, the stupid state. Everything! I hate it!" She paused to cry a little. "God... what am I going to tell my dad? And... Aaron?"
She began to cry again. Benji hadn't really thought about telling anyone, but now that he had, he began to get a little nervous. At least, he thought, his dad wasn't around to tell him what a fuck up he had become.
"Fuck," he muttered. "This is... this is bad."
"Yeah," Makena scoffed. "You're a quick one."
"Shut up," Benji snapped. "I realize you've had a bad day, but this is hitting me a little hard too, so just shut up and let me think about it."
"Why do you have to be such an ass sometimes?" Makena snapped, standing up. "Why are you so fucking dead inside?"
"I'm not dead!" Benji protested, jumping up.
"Well, you're pretty void of most emotion," Makena scoffed.
"You want emotion?" Benji questioned. "How about shock? That's what I felt when you told me you were pregnant. And what about fear, which is what I began to feel when I realized that I'm going to be a dad. And how about this one - love. Because I've felt NOTHING but love for you."
Makena's expression softened when she heard this, and she began to play with the hem of her hoodie. "Um..." she began nervously.
"I'll go, then," Benji said, picking his backpack up and brushing past her.
"No, Benji... wait."
Benji shook his head and walked out of the park and down the sidewalk. He didn't want to deal with this again for now. Now he wanted more than anything to find that parallel universe where nobody would bother him.