Hate Every Beautiful Day
Chapter 25
By: Makena
Benji returned home, putting his back pack down on the couch and standing in the living room. He didn't make a move towards the kitchen or the bedroom. He just stood there, unsure of what he was supposed to do.
"Benji?" Joel said from the kitchen table. Benji looked up at his brother, his eyes watering a little. "Are you okay?" Joel asked. Benji sighed and rubbed one of his eyes.
"I saw Makena at the park after football practice," Benji began, distantly staring at the kitchen floor. "She told me she's pregnant."
"... oh?" Joel said, taking a sip of water. "Um... okay."
"She's pregnant," Benji repeated. "With my kid."
Joel sprayed his water over the table and looked up at his brother. "What?" he said.
"You heard me," Benji scoffed, moving towards the kitchen. Joel was left at the table, thinking about what his brother had just told him while Benji opened the refrigerator. Benji moved some things aside in search of a beer, but stopped when he became unsuccessful.
"Joel... where's the beer?"
Joel looked up at his brother. "Hum?"
"The beer," Benji repeated. "Where is it?"
"Oh... you must have drank it all yesterday."
Benji shook his head and frowned.
"I had a couple, but there were still some bottles left..." He trailed off and looked at Joel, suddenly frowning. He shut the door and moved to the kitchen table, facing his brother. "Where is it? What did you do with the beer?"
"I... don't know what you're talking about..."
"Where is it, Joel?" Benji demanded. "I know you took it, you bastard."
"Alright," Joel said, getting up and beginning to walk away. "I took it. I took it and I threw it away, because you shouldn't drink."
"Eat me," Benji said. "Why the HELL would you throw that away? Why?!" Joel sighed and turned to face his brother.
"Because you would think that maybe, just maybe, I care what happens to my brother," Joel sighed. "And maybe it slowly kills ME as you slowly kill yourself."
"Maybe I should just go ahead and kill myself then and get it over with," Benji retorted.
"You're so fucking selfish, Benji!" Joel raged. "You don't realize how selfish suicide is! And you don't realize how much that threat scared me, because it did. I'm your brother, Benji. I love you. When are you going to wake up and realize that life isn't as bad as you think?"
"I'm not, Joel," Benji said. "Because life is worse than YOU think. Because life sucks and I truly want everything to go away!"
"I really, really hope you don't mean that, Benji," Joel said. "Because... you know what? No. Just... fuck this, okay? Fuck it. I don't need this right now."
"Oh, and I do," Benji said sarcastically. Joel shook his head and stuck up his middle finger before walking towards their bedroom and slamming the door shut. Benji cursed and punched the wall with his fist before sliding down and hugging his knees to his chest.
Everything had gone horrifically wrong, and he didn't know what to do about it anymore.
-----
Benji let his mind wander the next couple of days at football practice, which upset his coach and his teammates.
"What is wrong with you today, Combs?" Kleets yelled, taking a firm hold of Benji's helmet so he could yell at him. "You incompetent or something? You haven't made one complete pass today. You're done - hit the showers."
"Finally," Benji muttered as he slipped his helmet off while walking through the parking lot towards the gym. He walked into the locker room to change into his swim trunks, except he wasn't alone. Aaron was sitting on the bench, stuffing things into his duffel bag.
"Um... hi..." Benji said, unsure if Makena had told him the news yet. It had only been a couple of days, but he didn't know if she had told him. Aaron looked up at Benji and sighed.
"What are you doing in here?" he asked Benji.
"I'm incompetent and I can't make a complete pass," Benji reported. "So he took me out for the day."
"Got stuff on your mind?" Aaron asked. Benji nodded and slowly began to change out of most of his uniform.
"A little."
"Yeah, me too." Aaron sighed. "I faked an injury so I could come in here and think for a while."
Benji's stomach lurched, and he began to pray Aaron didn't know anything.
"Makena's been acting weird the past couple of days," he said. "She'll run off every now and then, and her mind... it's somewhere but here." Benji breathed a sigh of relief and grabbed his swim trunks before he finished changing in one of the bathroom stalls.
"What do you think it is?"
Benji sighed and came out of the stall, holding his dirty, grass stained pants in one hand. "I couldn't tell you."
-----
"Benji? Benji?! Open the fucking door, Benji!" Joel pounded on the bedroom door, trying to raise his voice louder than the music playing. The door swung open and Benji swayed in front of his brother, holding a bottle of beer.
"Hello, Joely," he slurred, trying to lean on the door frame but missing and falling onto the dresser.
"Move your drunk ass out of my way, Benji," Joel said, shoving his brother so he could get past.
"Woah... pushy."
Benji walked to his radio and turned it off before nearly missing his bed in an attempt to sit down. Joel scowled and grabbed one of his books.
Benji grabbed his head and groaned, walking towards the bathroom. Joel paused and watched his brother go through the medicine cabinet and pick out a bottle of aspirin.
"Benji, what are you doing?" Joel asked. Benji put his beer down on the sink and emptied about ten of the white pills into his hand.
"I have a headache," Benji said, trying to count the pills in his hand.
"I'm sure you do," Joel said with a frown. "Don't take that."
"Why not?" Benji slurred, dumping more pills into his hand.
"Stop it, Benji," Joel said, trying to put the pills from Benji's hand back into the bottle.
"Head hurts," Benji said, trying to get the pills back. Joel was able to get the pills back and into the bottle when his sister screeched his name from the kitchen.
"JOEL!" she screamed.
"Fuck," Joel muttered. "Don't take anything, Benji. I'll be right back." Joel ran to the kitchen where Sarah was sitting at the table. He stopped and frowned.
"What?" he demanded. "What's wrong?"
"I'm hungry," Sarah protested. "Make me something to drink."
Joel sighed angrily. "You called me... for that?" he asked. Sarah nodded. "Fuck. Benji is in the bathroom, possibly killing himself, and you want me to make dinner."
"Well..."
Joel groaned and got a Mac 'n' Cheese box out of the cupboard and slammed it down on the table.
"Read the directions," he said, stalking off towards the bathroom. When he got there, Benji was sitting on the tile floor, looking at the aspirin bottle.
"I think I took one too many," he said. Joel sighed.
"How many did you take?"
"How many were in the bottle?"